I had to start this post by thanking everyone who lives to help others. Isn’t that what this world is about? Every day we have an opportunity to impact another person’s life. Take a moment to look at the pictures above. Each person is impacting another life. We can choose any profession we want, so why not choose something you are passionate about? Passionate people in their professions impact thousands (and maybe even more) people.
Archive for the ‘Inspirational stuff’ Category
Diversity: Not Just for Breakfast Anymore…(A Collaboration with a Purpose Post)
Well, it’s time for another Collaboration with a Purpose post, and this month’s theme is diversity. We can talk about anything — cultural, in particular — that highlights the importance of diversity.
Take a look at this nifty picture, created by fellow blogger Sadaf Sidiqqi:
As to why I’m doing this? Well, culture is very important. I think we take it for granted in the United States, because we’re more diverse overall than most places in certain respects. (For example, in Racine, Wisconsin, where I live, we can get all sorts of different types of food, such as Thai, Japanese, Indian, and of course Italian and Mexican, though all of those are filtered through an American lens.)
But that diversity, in some ways, is under attack. Rather than celebrating all the unique and interesting people we have in this country, and also around the world, we’ve seen a resurgence of what I can only call tribalism — that is, “My tribe” (i.e., America) “is better than yours.”
Note: I don’t like tribalism. I think it’s self-limiting and self-defeating. I think we were put here to become better, wiser, and kinder people…and we can’t do that if we huddle in our own tribes, being afraid of anyone who’s not “us.” Moving on…
Still, I believe in diversity. I believe there must be a reason for all the different cultures in this world, and I think they’re there so we can learn, and grow, and improve ourselves. Even if it’s sometimes a laboriously slow process, it’s worthwhile.
And before you say it, while there definitely are some cultures I do not appreciate at all (ISIS, anyone?), we should have experts who try to understand why they do what they do, in order to protect the rest of us. Again, moving on…
Diversity, overall, is a good thing. Whether you were originally from Poland, Finland, Ireland, Malaysia, Egypt, or any points more exotic, you are worthy and interesting and valuable. You are worth getting to know from your own perspective as best we can manage it, we who aren’t from Poland, Finland, et. al., and that’s one reason why I think we must begin to embrace diversity rather than shun it.
See, diversity brings understanding, but it also brings richness and a better life. And that richness has to be part of what the Higher Power wanted us to learn while we’re here on this Earth. (Otherwise, why are we here at all?)
Now, go and see what the other folks are writing about today, all right? I’m sure there must be some really interesting takes on diversity out there this time…(as there always are).
The other collaborators this time around are listed below, along with some of their best prior quotes from the previous Collaboration with a Purpose posts (as compiled by blogger Nicolle K.):
- Addison D’Marko (“If you want to achieve complete happiness one of the things you are going to have to do is care less. By this I mean stop putting so much thought into the things that do not matter.”)
- Camilla Motte @ Moms on the Go (“We want to be help to the helpless. We all need love and support and I pray this community will be that for you.”)
- Jothish Joseph @ TheJothishJosephBlog (“Anybody can write “Extra” before “ordinary” but only people of courage dare to earn it…”)
- Ipuna Black (“None of us are perfect or come from perfect backgrounds, but this doesn’t mean we can’t aim for a positive and fulfilling life. The life we all deserve.”)
- Jane Love @ Harmonious Joy (“People who have a genuine say and a true voice of their own… not just an echo of some celebrity they think they love.”)
- Mylene C. Orillo (“Where I’m at right now is a testament that ‘Dreams really do come true.’”)
- Sonyo Estavillo @ ‘Lil Pick Me Up (“I am here to champion anyone from the successful and confident folks, to those that are clinically depressed.”)
- And Nicolle K @ Stories of a Highly Sensitive Introvert! (“Success, for me, is when I spend my days feeling happy, peaceful, fulfilled and without fear of lack.”)
So, there you have it!
And do leave a comment, please…I always appreciate hearing from my fellow bloggers and friends. (What else would you like me to talk about, for example? I’m always interested in new blog subjects.)
Resist the Echo Chamber (AKA Negativity)
Folks, I’ve heard a lot recently about negative reinforcement, which from here on out I’ll call “the echo chamber.” And it needs to be discussed, because too many of us never think about it.
Whether your echo chamber is from a person or from the news (as the news tends to repeat negativity over and over and over again, as that’s what many viewers seem to want), or even from your own past experiences, you need to throw it off.
Why?
Let’s put it this way: If you are inundated by negativity, it’s hard to create. It’s also hard to believe that anything will be any better than it is today.
(Which probably is why it’s so hard to create, if you think about it. Anything worth creating takes time, and if you are worrying yourself into a frenzy all the time due to the negativity you see around you, you can’t believe that time will be well-spent. Which is a lie, but I digress.)
One of the hardest things in this world to do is to throw off that echo chamber. It is liberating to do, once you realize you need to do it, but just getting to the point you can even have that thought is hard.
Some of you may be going, “Barb, what on Earth are you talking about this time?”
Simply this: If you live your life defined by negativity, you can’t help but be weighed down.
But if you see your life as full of possibilities, as best you can, you have a better shot at throwing off that echo chamber and doing whatever it was you were meant to do.
(In my case, it’s creating. I love to create, whether it’s music, words, cooking…it gives me fulfillment and peace, when I can do that. But since you’re here at my blog, you may have realized this already…)
You must throw the echo chamber away, and with great force, and lose those weights that confine you. Because they do not — I repeat, do not — define you.
How do you resist the negativity in your life? Tell me about it in the comments!
More Professions to be Thanked, via Collaboration with a Purpose
Folks, my Collaboration with a Purpose buddies came up with some great blogs this time, and I wanted to make sure you knew about them. (My blog, of course, thanked teachers, but there are all sorts of other professions to thank…) So, without further ado, here’s a bit about each blog, and why I found it interesting!
Addison D’Marko’s blog post thanks neuro-science, and she has a great reason why. When she was in sixth grade, she read a book about the brain that so impressed her, to the point that when she became paralyzed years later, she remembered it in her hour of need. (That book was The Brain That Changes Itself, by the way.)
Nicolle K. at her blog Stories of Ahsi thanks unsung heroes, and her reasoning behind that is fascinating. She says unsung heroes are the most interesting of all, and she has very good reasoning as to why this is the case. And she has a great demonstration from a story she read years ago, too… (In short, go read this blog immediately! You’ll thank yourself afterward.)
And Nicolle, you didn’t need to thank your fellow bloggers, but bless you for doing so. (Embarrassed blush.) Moving on…
The amazing and talented Tajwar Fatma wrote a post thanking doctors, which again makes wonderful sense as she’s currently studying to become a doctor. (And she’s nearly done, too, yay!) Read all about why she loves becoming a doctor, and why she’s very thankful for doctors overall.
But it’s almost insane that she had to point out that attacking doctors on call is a crime. (Apparently that has happened in her neck of the woods, and that is horrible. Leave those doctors alone.)
The always-inspiring Ipuna Black has a post thanking police officers, and her reasoning is quite intriguing. She points out that police officers have a tough job, and it’s just gotten worse since the horrible shooting in Las Vegas. And yet, without them, what kind of lives would most people have?
She also has a great paragraph that I’m going to quote in its entirety:
Absolutely. Right on, Ipuna!
The inspiring Jane Love wrote about the need to be thankful for parents. She also discusses thankfulness, specifically from a Christian perspective. There’s a lot of good to be found here, and I hope my readers who are not specifically Christian in their beliefs will be able to see the good in Jane’s post and apply whatever they can to their own lives.
And writer and teacher Sadaf Siddiqi’s take on the subject is quite intriguing; she talks about thankfulness, and the need to thank people regardless of their professions. She discusses a few specific professions, mind, including her own of teacher…but her main impetus is that we need to be thankful for everyone who does a meaningful job.
(I completely agree with her.)
Jothish Joseph also has a take on thanking all professions that I enjoyed quite a bit. (Jothish is a fun-loving, kind-hearted, good guy. I always enjoy reading his posts.) And to my mind, Jothish is right when he discusses how the people who clean up behind us need to be much better-respected overall. He first discusses how many others of his acquaintance do not understand this very important tenet (that all deserve respect, and that no one should look down on anyone), and then discusses this story:
One day I visited the Dhobi to give my laundry. As always there was a fairly long line. I stood in the queue and waited for my chance. The person just ahead of me rudely handed over his clothes and seemed to be very annoying. As a result the lady collecting the laundry was annoyed and visible change in her mood was seen. That’s when my turn came. I gave my laundry and said a thank you when I was done. I got a smile in return.
Since that day every time that I go there, I am greeted with a smile and sometimes also enquired about how I’ve been!
I loved this story.
Divyang Shah also thanks all professions, and discusses three in particular. The one I found the most intriguing is about software engineers; Divyang is one, so he knows exactly what they do, and how much of what we need for daily living depends on them.
Well done, Divyang!
Mylene Orillo’s post is wonderful, too. She thanks soldiers, along with military spouses and families, and has excellent reasons as to why:
Some of you don’t know that soldiery is one of the closest professions in my heart as I was once a military cadet and a frustrated Army soldier. Yes, I would have joined the Army ‘coz I’m not a good swimmer if I join the Navy and I’m also afraid of heights if I join the Air Force. I was an incoming senior in college when I entered a military school in 2001 and trained there for two years.
…
Since I also worked for the Philippine Army as a civilian employee for eight years, I knew (although I didn’t experience it first-hand) what’s it’s like to be in the service from the stories of my office-mates, bosses, and closest friends and their families.
That’s why I have high respects for people who are in the military or uniformed service in general because I know their sacrifices and I know how they are living their lives away from their families. So whenever I hear stories about soldiers, especially my classmates, upperclassmen, or underclassmen who were wounded or dead in battle, it never fails to break me into pieces and make me really emotional.
Mylene’s right about soldiers, their families, and most especially their spouses. (This former military wife thanks you for remembering us, Mylene! Almost no one does.)
Finally, the incredible Sonyo Estavillo wrote a post specifically thanking those in Las Vegas who responded to the horrific shooting, most especially the police officers. Sonyo points out that she used to live in Las Vegas, and that this shooting was absolutely horrific for many, many reasons; that the shooter had no record is one of those, but that he did something like this at an event that’s generally considered to be family-friendly is even worse. She has some country music fans in her family who still live in the area, and she’s grateful they weren’t there…but as she knows that “there but for the grace of God” goes her family, she felt the need to write a post thanking the policemen (and other first responders).
I completely agree with her reasoning, and I hope people will read this post and think, profoundly, about how much police officers do every day that is never celebrated, nor even noted; we normally only think about the “bad apples,” not the others, and that gives most of us a distorted view of the profession at hand. (No wonder no one thinks about thanking police officers, when all we ever hear is bad…and yet, the vast majority of police officers are good, kind, and decent people who do a very difficult job so others can live in safety and peace.)
Anyway, all the various posts were great, in their respective ways, and I truly hope you will check them out forthwith. (You’ll enjoy them. And they may make you think, too…which is a win/win, in my book.)
Thank a Teacher Today, via Collaboration with a Purpose
Folks, this is the latest in a series of blogs done under the aegis of Collaboration with a Purpose. I hope you’ll enjoy it.
Today, I want to thank teachers. All of them, in all of their various permutations.
Why? Well, without people willing to teach, we’d not be able to learn…and without people putting themselves out there selflessly, maybe no one would learn anything at all.
Some of you have to be saying, “Barb, why are you saying this so strongly? What’s the point? Yeah, teachers are great and all, but why glorify them above other professions?”
(Which, by the way, is the point of this whole post. The Collaboration with a Purpose topic this time, as you see from the lovely picture Nicolle K. put together, was “Thank a profession.” But I digress.)
I know that one of the reasons I have the thirst for knowledge and learning is because of how I was taught, from the time I was very young, by many people in my life. Not just my elementary and secondary school teachers, but by my parents, my grandparents, my Aunt Laurice (who taught me a few chords on the piano when I asked, though I promptly forgot them when I went away from her and the piano)…without my mother and grandmother teaching me to read, spell, and do simple sums, I would’ve been at a grave disadvantage when I turned up in kindergarten.
And then, along the way, I discovered more about music. My first music teacher helped me learn how to play the oboe, and then there was a huge teacher’s strike that lasted months.
But by that time, I was hooked. I played for my grandmother, who watched me and my sibs as we waited out the teacher’s strike. I played for my parents, when they came home from work. And I worked my way through three different books, learning more notes and fingerings and songs, to the point I nearly made my teacher cry — with happiness, mind — when we finally resumed school.
And I was sent to a private teacher, who taught me more…and another teacher, who taught me even more…
You get my drift, yes?
Anyway, without teachers, especially in childhood when our minds are malleable, it would be much harder to get into a habit of lifelong learning. And that is vitally important, especially in this day and age when technology seemingly changes on a dime and there are constant and inevitable changes to deal with, just different ones at different times.
And I also want to thank the librarians, teachers in their own right, who helped point me in the right direction after I realized I wanted to learn even more after school was over.
Without all of them, I think I would’ve turned out to be a much different, and far lesser, person.
So, thank you, teachers! Thanks for the help, and the guidance, and the learning, and for passing it along.
And bless you for all you do.
Changing Perspectives
Folks, sometimes you just have to change your perspective.
Whether it’s your book, your life, or something specific, changing how you look at it can make a huge difference.
I realized this earlier this week. A wise person told me, in reference to my “sadiversary” (the anniversary of my late husband Michael’s death, coming next week), that I need to look at it differently. And what he said was so interesting, I thought I’d pass it along, to see if it might help you, too.
My wise friend said, “You’re a storyteller. Is the period at the end of the sentence the important thing? Or is it everything else?”
Of course I said it was everything else.
“And at the very end of a novel, is the last period the most important thing? Or is the overall story, the journey of it all, the most important thing instead?”
Again, I said that the story/journey was what was most important.
“So, Barb, why are you so worried about that final period at the end of Michael’s story?” (Michael, of course, being my late husband.) “That’s just the smallest part of it all. He, himself, would not want you to be obsessing over that period, would he?”
No, he wouldn’t. And I admitted that.
Ever since that important conversation, I’ve been thinking about how important changing my perspective in this way actually is. And it makes sense.
So, if you’re having trouble looking at a problem, maybe you can try looking at it a new way. And seeing it a different way may give you a path forward, or at least something else to think about.
If you take away only one thought from today’s blog, please remember this: Your story is a journey. (In other words, a work in progress.) And if you get hung up on one, small part of that, it’s going to mess you up.
When something like that happens, do yourself a favor and try to look at it a different way. (Maybe you’ll need help to do this. If so, I sympathize. I certainly had never seen this before my wise friend said something, but it does make sense.) It may give you perspective…
But more important even than that? It may give you peace, too.
Why Is Self-Acceptance So Damned Hard?
Folks, this blog is part of Collaboration with a Purpose. This time around, we have fourteen bloggers talking about the difficulties with self-love and acceptance. And as I have a really difficult time talking about that l-word when it comes to the self, I’m going to use the term “self-acceptance” for all of it.
Why is accepting yourself as you are so damned hard?
Think about it. If someone you know is having a hard time, don’t you reach out and say, “Hey. I care. I am here for you. It doesn’t matter how you screwed up. It doesn’t matter at all. I care, I’m here, and I want to help.”
But you don’t do that for yourself. (At least, most of us don’t.) Instead, we beat ourselves up for our mistakes. Because we’re supposed to be perfect, even though it’s OK if everyone else isn’t.
So why is it that we have such a hard time with self-acceptance, anyway? Why can’t we be as kind to ourselves as we are to others in similar situations?
I don’t know. I’ve pondered this for a long time, actually, but despite that, I still have no answers.
Maybe we’re supposed to struggle with this. Maybe we’re supposed to learn, no matter how slowly, how to see ourselves as others do. Or at least how to learn to forgive ourselves for things we’d forgive anyone else…to appreciate our own humanity, even though that means we will make mistakes, and plenty of them.
And sometimes repeat them, even though we’re working on not doing so, because that’s part of being human, too.
It’s hard to unlearn old habits. And it’s really hard to pick up new ones even after you’ve unlearned the old.
Maybe being upset with ourselves is like that. (Hear me out, OK?) It’s like an old, bad habit. We do something that we get upset with, and we chastise ourselves, all because we’ve criticized ourselves this way since we were small. And we don’t know any better way; maybe we don’t even realize there might be a better way.
But accepting yourself, warts and all, is not easy. It sometimes seems easier to accept your worst enemy than your own self, because you believe you should always be at your best, no excuses, no quarter. Even though anyone else — including your worst enemy — you’d agree with the caveat that everyone has their down times, and that we have to accept them. (That is, if you’re feeling like being kind. And I do hope you are, at least for the purposes of this exercise.)
It’s not easy to say, “All right. I’m still a valuable human being, no matter how many mistakes I’ve made, and no matter how often I’ve made them. I deserve to treat myself with kindness and respect, just like I’d treat anyone else,” because we’re not taught how to do that. We’re taught instead that if we think too much about ourselves, we run the risk of being narcissistic.
Or at least self-absorbed. And no one wants that.
All you can do, every day, is tell yourself that it’s all right to forgive yourself, the same way you’d forgive anyone else for the same thing.
And if it’s too hard to tell yourself, “I care, I’m not going to stop caring, and I am not going to hate you forever for screwing up big-time,” well, at least tell yourself that tomorrow is another day. And you can and will make it better, so stop beating yourself up already.
Self-acceptance is damned hard to achieve, no lie. But it is possible. And you should keep working on it, and figure out a strategy that works for you, so you can put your energy to its best use creating things of wonder and beauty — or at least not waste it beating yourself up.
Why Must We Be So Negative?
Folks, the other day I read an interesting post by my friend Tajwar Fatma, she of the blog Life As We Have Never Known it. She’d just passed ten thousand hits on her blog — a truly impressive feat, if you think about it — and she decided to talk about how much negativity she’s had to overcome during her newfound blogging career. (It’s called “Overcoming Negativity,” and can be found here.)
This got me thinking.
Why must we all be so negative all the time?
Granted, there are plenty of negative things in this world. Politics often makes no sense. The weather is too hot, too cold, or maybe just too boring. Prices are rising. Everything we seem to like gives us cancer; everything we don’t like is touted as curing everything down to the common cold, but is ultimately just good, solid food that we continue to dislike.
So, we can eat healthy and hate it. Or we can eat what we like and clog our arteries (at best).
It seems like no matter what we do, we can’t win.
I have no answer for why others are negative. But I do have an answer for how to overcome your own negativity, at least in part.
First, as Tajwar put it in her blog, “Don’t let negativity get to your mind and heart. You have to lose in order to win. And if you can’t handle criticism and negativity, you sure can’t handle praise and victory!”
Second, you need to realize that some of this negativity, regardless of how personal it feels at the time, is not being directed at you in specific. It’s because people are frustrated, upset, angry, or sometimes even jealous of the fact that you’re still trying, but they’ve given up.
Third, it’s important to keep going because you know in your heart that what you’re doing matters to you. (For example, I continue to write, despite the struggles and life-worries and frustrations, because writing matters very much to me. And my stories matter, too.)
Don’t let anyone tell you that what you’re doing doesn’t matter. Or that no one will ever care, either.
As a barely-succeeding author (someone most people don’t even know about), I’m here to tell you that so long as you care, that’s all that matters.
So keep doing what you are. Work hard on yourself, and spread joy and light and life wherever you can. Try to overcome the negativity in this world as best you can (mind, constructive criticism is not negativity, but that’s a separate issue and I’m not going to get into it now).
And most importantly of all: Whenever you get a negative thought about what you’re doing right now, do your best to throw it out. (Or better yet, laugh at it, as Tajwar suggested in her blog.) Don’t let that negative thought stop you from doing whatever it is that you need or want to do…because that’s the only way that you truly lose.
And I see no purpose in that. (I hope you don’t, either.)
Collaboration with a Purpose: Graduate School and One Step Toward the Impossible…
Today’s theme for the group of bloggers I’m a part of known as Collaboration with a Purpose is “One Step Toward the Impossible.” And as such, I wracked my brains trying to find a topic.
Why?
Well, I actually had so many different ideas, I didn’t know which one to pick. (And yes, sometimes too many ideas is as much of a problem as too few.)
The three ideas were:
- My lengthy journey to get into graduate school
- The journey I’ve been forced to endure as a widow toward building a better and more fulfilling life
- The overall journey every person has in attempting to find himself/herself in a culture where many superficial things are celebrated to the detriment of what is true and real
So, what did I finally decide?
I thought discussing my journey to get into graduate school might be interesting. So, without further ado…
Graduate school was definitely a journey that started with a hesitant, single step. I remember going back to finish my Bachelor’s as a slightly older than average student, and telling my advisors that I wanted to go to grad school. That I’d always wanted to go. And what did I need to do so I could?
It turned out that first, I needed to clear up some old debts, so I could get my transcripts released from my undergrad work at another college. I needed to do this first, because until I did, I could not graduate with my Bachelor’s, much less aspire to anything else.
This seemed utterly impossible. First, I was flat broke. Second, I was getting a divorce. Third, I had so many bills that I didn’t have any idea how I was even going to live from day to day, much less anything else.
But I persevered. I took a single step of going back to school, first, even though I couldn’t officially become a degree-seeking student until I had fixed a certain amount of debt. Then, I took another step, and took lessons from probably my favorite overall clarinet and sax teacher, Tim Bell, one of the most encouraging and helpful people I’ve ever run across. Third, I took another single step by working on my music composition with Mark Eichner (who’s now my conductor in the Racine Concert Band)…I didn’t know how anything was going to shake out, but I was at least willing to try to put myself in a position to make it happen.
Then, one night, my mother and I were out at the old Dairyland Greyhound Park in Kenosha, Wisconsin. We liked to go watch the dogs run, and yes, we bet small amounts of money on them, too.
That night, I bet $2 on a superfecta — meaning I had to get four dogs in some sort of order — and my superfecta was what they call a “partial wheel,” meaning I had picked two of the dogs to finish in a particular order, but the other two could come in elsewise. (I know this is not an accurate description, but bogging down this blog with how to work a partial wheel on a superfecta is not my idea of a good time. All apologies if this disappoints you.) And at first, I thought I’d lost.
My Mom checked my ticket, and said, “But Barb, you’ve got the winning combo. At least go up and check the ticket.”
I did, hoping like fire that I did have it. Because the winning ticket paid enough for me to fix the transcript issue, and become a degree-seeking student…
Yes, I had the winner.
I can’t tell you what a relief it was to find out I did have it, mind, ’cause I had been working hard toward this particular end for nearly a year by this time. I was upset earlier that day, I remember, because of the divorce proceedings, and I’d needed distraction — thus the dog track.
Mom and I had other bills to pay, mind, but I knew that if I didn’t pay this particular bill now, I was likely to not ever get another chance. So, I paid the bill, got my transcripts released, became an official, degree-seeking student, and then asked what else I could do to make things easier on me to getting my degree. (I had to do my last thirty credits in residence at Parkside, mind, and the twelve credits I could take as a non-degree seeking student were already in the can. That means I had eighteen credits yet to go.)
My advisors, Tim Bell and Mark Eichner, told me to try out for a music scholarship.
I did, and I won the best one they had, which knocked half off my tuition. The rest, I’d have to pay in installments, as I was out of financial aid…but I was working full-time as a cashier and stocker, so I vowed to do just that.
While it took me a bit of extra time to make those three payments, I managed it. But then, I had some health issues, and had to take an incomplete in my favorite class of my final semester: United States History, senior-level. (Did I mention yet that I have the equivalents of minors in history and English? No? Oops…) I had to write a couple of papers to finish that up, and I had until the following May to get that in, or my grade — which had been an A before the incomplete had to be taken — would turn into an F.
I wasn’t about to let this stop me, either. So I wrote the papers. Did all the research. Turned them in, and got complimented by my history professor for doing so much work as he’d expected four or five-page papers, not twenty-five to thirty page papers.
(Am I an overachiever? Well, yeah…)
So, my degree requirements had been completed. I had my BA in Music. And I started looking around for grad schools.
I did a couple of auditions in the next few months, helped along by my family — without them, I’d not have been able to get there, as the money was definitely not there for me to travel. (And really, you have to do auditions in person if you want to be a music performance major. A tape only gets you in the door. I am reasonably sure it’s still the same way, because a tape can be altered; performance, in person, can’t be faked.) And I settled on a school, the University of Nebraska at Lincoln, because I liked the saxophone teacher, Robert Fought, and believed he’d be able to teach me a great deal. (He did, too, down the line. Good teacher, Dr. Fought.)
At this point, I was offered a full-tuition scholarship and a job as a graduate teaching assistant, meaning I’d be paid a small stipend. The two were a package deal, and I didn’t hesitate to take advantage of it.
But then, life threw me another curveball. As I was readying myself to go to graduate school, I injured my back at work. And this was no minor injury, either; somehow, I pulled nearly every single muscle in my back, and was off work for nearly three months.
By the time I was able to get around again, the first semester (fall) had started at Nebraska. I didn’t know if they’d hold my TAship until the spring or not, but I told Dr. Fought I really did want to go to Nebraska and learn from him.
A number of other difficult things happened, but finally, I managed to get to Nebraska and start my graduate school education.
Note that this journey, which had once seemed impossible, started with a single step. It took nearly four years of hard work, a couple of good breaks I immediately took advantage of, and overcoming at least five bad breaks in the process. But I got it done.
This, to my mind, is what this theme is all about. So I hope my journey will help you all realize that if you set your mind to it, and you do not waver, and you give it your best effort, you, too, can do whatever you put your mind to.
I firmly believe that.
Now, go check out my fellow bloggers and their takes on the subject (the quotes are from some of their best lines, as summarized by the inestimable Nicolle of Stories of a Highly Sensitive Introvert):
- Addison D’Marko (“If you want to achieve complete happiness one of the things you are going to have to do is care less. By this I mean stop putting so much thought into the things that do not matter.”)
- Ajibola Sunday @ Inspirational Motivation (“The true definition of success is being happy and living up to your potentials.”)
- Camilla Motte @ Moms on the Go (“We want to be help to the helpless. We all need love and support and I pray this community will be that for you.”)
- Divyang Shah @ i think my way (“If someone don’t speak much, don’t interpret as a dumb, their mind must be working on something very big or may be he is a writer and observing surrounding on which he would come with some deep write-ups.”)
- Jothish Joseph @ TheJothishJosephBlog (“Anybody can write “Extra” before “ordinary” but only people of courage dare to earn it…”)
- Ipuna Black (“None of us are perfect or come from perfect backgrounds, but this doesn’t mean we can’t aim for a positive and fulfilling life. The life we all deserve.”)
- Jane Love @ Harmonious Joy (“People who have a genuine say and a true voice of their own… not just an echo of some celebrity they think they love.”)
- Manal Ahmad a.k.a. iamthatgirl @ Sensible Nonsense (“Who says oblivion happens to all of us? A single act of kindness makes sure you live on in somebody’s heart.”)
- Mylene C. Orillo (“Where I’m at right now is a testament that ‘Dreams really do come true.’”)
- Sadaf Siddiqi (“The best thing about memories, is one doesn’t realise they are making memories but once recorded, it just rewinds and takes one back to the beautiful series of life.”)
- Sonyo Estavillo @ ‘Lil Pick Me Up (“I am here to champion anyone from the successful and confident folks, to those that are clinically depressed.”)
- Tajwar Fatma @ LifeAsWeHaveNeverKnownIt (“When life hits you hard, hit back harder!”)
- And of course Nicolle K @ Stories of a Highly Sensitive Introvert! (“Success, for me, is when I spend my days feeling happy, peaceful, fulfilled and without fear of lack. 😊”)
Any questions? Tell me about ’em in the comments!
Strength: A Follow-up
Folks, I am glad to be able to talk to you a little bit more about what strength is, what it isn’t, and how important it is in your daily life.
Last week, I wrote a post about strength, along with eleven other bloggers as part of the blog event Collaboration with a Purpose. We all came up with variations on the same theme: what is strength? Why is it important? Why should we care about it? What are we supposed to do about it? And what’s the meaning of it, anyway?
To me, it’s all about the power the mind, heart, and spirit. You have to believe that you can get past anything, even at your darkest times, or you just can’t function.
It’s really hard sometimes to believe that you can do just that, mind. Life can be overwhelming and stressful and frustrating and all-encompassing and exhausting.
Sometimes it’s tough to believe in yourself. Nothing seems to be going right. Everything seems to be stacked against you. And you wonder what the point is.
I’ve been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt, burned it, buried the ashes, all that.
The important thing is, don’t give up. Keep trying, and refuse to allow whatever it is to bring you down.
Instead, learn from it. Grow because of it. And maybe, just maybe, at the end of the darkest hour, you’ll find peace — and it won’t just be from exhaustion.
Now, I’d like it if you’d go check out my fellow Collaboration with a Purpose bloggers, and see their takes on the subject of strength. Please check out the following links:
Mistakes? Or Stepping Stones?
Folks, have you ever wondered if mistakes are merely stepping stones?
And the worse the mistake, the bigger the stepping stone?
I know most of us (myself included) tend to think a mistake is a life-altering event that you can’t go back from. You’re not the same person as before you made the mistake, and you don’t know what you’re going to do. Sometimes you don’t have any good choices, and that’s frustrating in the extreme.
But I’m here to tell you that I’ve rebounded from most of my past mistakes. They did turn out to be stepping stones, though I didn’t necessarily know that at the time. And I learned from them, and became a more informed person (if not always a wiser one).
Consider that when you write, sometimes you have to tear up a whole chapter, maybe even start over ten or fifteen or more times before you get a sentence right. (Or a paragraph, or a story, etc.) A start is just that: a start. It doesn’t have to lead where you think it’s going to lead, not and still be worthwhile to you.
Life is like that, too.
If you’d have told me after I fought so hard to get my two college degrees in music that I’d end up as an independent writer and editor, I’d probably have looked at you like you had two heads. I’d planned my whole life to be a performing musician, and to teach music. That’s what I wanted to do from the time I turned ten years old, and I worked really hard to do just that.
But life threw me a few curveballs, and so, here I am.
And as my character Bruno says (in the as-yet unpublished AN ELFY ABROAD), “I am who I am. I refuse to apologize for it.”
My mistakes did turn out to be stepping stones, for the most part. The ruins of my first two marriages were necessary so I could find the right guy, at long last, and build a strong and sturdy marriage that satisfied me in all senses. (That it ended too soon, because he died too young, is not Michael’s fault. Nor mine, but I digress.) And my hands not allowing me to become the musician I had dreamed of becoming turned my creativity in an alternate direction.
Maybe, had I not gone in this direction, I wouldn’t know the writers, editors, and yes, the musicians I know now. Maybe, just maybe, I’d not have learned as much about life either.
And I can’t be unhappy with any of that, even though my life in a lot of ways didn’t turn out the way I’d hoped.
(Maybe it’s the same with you.)
Anyway, just the thought that your mistakes might someday turn out to be stepping stones may do you some good today. Because mistakes aren’t always as bad as they seem. They often can lead to good outcomes, even if you can’t see it now; even if it makes no sense; and even if you have to fight like Hell to get there.
For one moment, try to step outside yourself and treat yourself the way you’d treat your best friend. Be kind, be compassionate, and give yourself a break.
That way, you can accept what comes, and keep fighting.
For a creative person (writer, musician, editor, or what-you-will), that’s the only way to live.
Barb Caffrey's Blog 