Barb Caffrey's Blog

Folks, the last week or so, I’ve been running on empty.

Why? Well, as I said, I had priority edits to work on. One has been completed, and I plan to discuss it as soon as the book comes out. Four more are in process with various authors, and one of those nears completion also.

But of course that’s not the only reason.

Last week, Friday, I walked into the urgent care clinic. I knew I felt lousy. My throat hurt so much, I couldn’t sip water without pain. I was using either Chloraseptic or Sucrets (both of which have mouth-numbing properties) to be able to swallow, and most of the food I’d eaten in the previous week consisted of soup, oatmeal, and rice.

Anyway, the rapid strep test came back negative. But as I had red spots at the back of my throat that were not consistent with a sinus infection (these people have seen me many times, possibly as much or more than my regular physician), and as I wasn’t feeling well whatsoever, I was prescribed antibiotics.

The antibiotics, in short, have kicked me in the teeth.

Perhaps that’s what I need, in order to get better. I know the next few weeks will be hectic, as the Racine Concert Band will have rehearsals before our May concert, and I know it’s very difficult for me to allow myself to rest when I have so much work left to do. (And that’s not even talking about the writing I need to do for my own purposes, much less the music composition. I was in the middle of writing a march for a good friend of mine, and that has to stay on hold, too.)

But that does not mean I enjoy feeling like I’ve been run over by a bus. (Then again, if I did, wouldn’t you have to wonder about me?)

I’ve done everything I can toward helping my family as I was able during the past week. I think things are set up well enough that I can rest and hopefully heal without having to expend too much energy. I also think it’s possible that if I do this, I can go to the rehearsal on Thursday for the RCB and enjoy playing music with them.

That said, I’m trying to rest, heal, edit when my body lets me (may it please let me today, later, as I do have that priority project waiting for a few good hours of my time and concentration), and think good thoughts.

One final thought: There is a lot of outright despair at the moment. Folks are very angry, and it isn’t getting better (the divisive issue of abortion isn’t helping in the US; for the record, I believe in “safe, legal, and rare” as desperate women used to use Lysol as an abortifacient and that was extremely hazardous). We seem to have forgotten that we’re all human, and we have more in common than not.

I urge people to find their empathy, fast.

In the case of abortion, I’ve known some very good pro-life folks who worked hard for women’s rights. One, a clarinetist I knew in Nebraska, would drop everything and go at a moment’s notice to bring one of her pregnant friends food, take her to the doctor, and helped her through her grief (giving birth when you don’t want to is not only physically difficult and frustrating, but has all sorts of other things come into play). She did this because she and her friends believed abortion was murder.

I also note, for the record, that she did not shun people who were pro-choice. She knew I was. She had no problems with me, because we both wanted what was best for the women. And we absolutely, positively agreed that women who were poor but wanted to raise their kids should get all the help they needed to find good jobs, get excellent child care, and have the nutrition they needed to help raise their families.

If we could agree, back in the mid-1990s, that these things are important, why can’t people do so now?

Life is too short for division and strife.

Folks, I’ve been doing one of three things the past few weeks. These are, in no particular order, helping family, editing, and resting. (Yes, I include fighting migraines and other health problems as “resting.” I don’t think that’s how most people would see it, but if I’m not up and doing, I’m resting.)

I’ve also been concerned about a number of things in the news, as per usual.

The War in Ukraine continues, though the focus on it in the American media is less. It seems to have become a proxy war between Vladimir Putin and everyone else. I admire Ukrainian President Volodomyr Zelensky, and believe he’s done as much as he can to save his country from annihilation. But if we take our eyes off that war, we run the risk of making things worse for ourselves.

In other words, reality must be faced. Even if we don’t like it. Maybe especially when we don’t like it…but reality must be faced.

That’s the only way to do anything about it.

Anyway, on to other things.

One clickbait video I saw a few minutes ago is about Amber Heard and a disgusting, disturbing “prank” she played on her then-husband, Johnny Depp. She put “poo” (feces/poop) in his bed, and called it “a prank gone horribly wrong.”

What kind of woman does this?

(No, I didn’t click on the video. No point.)

For those of you who have had weird things happen during the course of your relationships, or worse, your marriages, I want to urge you to think of this: Not everyone behaves this way. Not everyone is as disturbed as Amber Heard seems to be (and/or anyone else who thinks this is a good idea). Most people do not and will not ever behave this way.

As I’ve said before, my two marriages before I met and married Michael were awful. I dealt with a lot of stupid, petty crap, and my second marriage in particular could’ve easily been annulled. (Michael was the only keeper, and he always said that as far as he was concerned, he was my only husband. I tend to agree.)

But even my ex-husbands did not behave like Amber Heard did in this instance.

There are some lines, folks, that you should not cross. What Amber Heard did is one of them.

Anyway, I must return to my editing. Do take care and have a great week ahead. (I’ll check in at some point, with whatever is on my mind most at the time, as per usual.)

I figured I’d better drop in and say a few things, just so y’all know I’m still alive.

I’ve had my ears rechecked, and the infection is gone. Unfortunately, it takes a while for fluid in the ears to go away, so my balance remains a bit off (as does my hearing). Still, things are a little better in that regard.

Otherwise, I’ve been reading and re-reading some of my favorite books, while contemplating doing some writing just as soon as I have the energy for it.

As per usual, I’m working on several editing projects and am planning to make good progress this week.

Other than that, I continue to feel a bit unsettled and off-center, probably because of the ear issues. In addition, I remain deeply concerned about the ongoing humanitarian disaster in Ukraine (I truly hope Russia pulls its troops back, and soon, so Ukraine can start the rebuilding ASAP).

There are so many things I can’t do much about, and Ukraine is one of them. That said, I’m glad they’re still fighting. And I was happy to see that some of the Ukrainian figure skaters made it to the World Championships in France last week, even though none were even close to being medal contenders.

But that wasn’t the point of them being there, not under these circumstances. The point was that they refused to give up.

The crowds at the World Figure Skating Championships understood this, too, and gave the skaters a standing ovation.

So, while I was happy to see the American pairs team win the gold medal (and a second American pairs team was in medal contention before the female half of the pair suffered a hard fall, forcing them to withdraw), and glad to see that the rest of the American team did well in dance, men’s skating, and women’s skating, it was more important to me that the Ukrainians were there doing what they could.

Their perseverance, as well as their joy in skating despite all that has befallen their country, is what resonated with me. And I hope that next year, the Ukrainian skaters will have a much easier time of it. (Once the war’s over, I’d imagine it will be much easier to find time to skate. Hoping the ice rinks haven’t been completely bombarded, that is.)

How are you doing this week? What’s going on in your neck of the woods and/or corner of the internet? What did you think about, hope for, or pay attention to last week? Let me know in the comments!

I figured I’d take a different tactic this week, and talk about something that will make me smile. Or maybe it’ll make you smile, too…who knows?

Anyway, Mom’s dog, Brat, has taken to getting her food out of the can the hard way. (Picture about a ten-pound dog full of mischief for this.) Rather than wait for my Mom or for me to get the food out, Brat goes straight for the can, then throws it with her mouth as far as she can. (This isn’t very far, granted.) She does this until there’s enough food loosened in the can so she can get on with the act of eating.

I can’t help it; I smile every time she does this.

There are other things that make me smile, too. Rainbows, sometimes. Cat pictures. (Who doesn’t love cat pictures?) A funny turn of phrase in the manuscript(s) I’m editing. (Right now I have two, and both have some great comedic moments.) Re-reading my favorite passages in various books also makes me smile, as I get more and more out of them as time goes by.

At any rate, I wanted to ask you what makes you smile, because this world has seemed cold and bleak lately. We’ve got the War in Ukraine to worry about (#StandWithUkraine), we still have the never-ending Covid pandemic, gas prices are going through the roof (partly due to the War, partly because the oil companies use any excuse possible to run up the price), it’s cold and dreary outdoors (with the occasional sunny day mixed in for variety)…

Anyway.

Other things that have made me smile recently are thinking about road trips, wondering if the Milwaukee Brewers will ever get back to baseball (this is after I start figuratively throwing things, as I do not understand the owners and their machinations in locking out the players), listening to Milwaukee Bucks games, sunsets, Lake Michigan in all its various moods, and ice cream.

There’s more than that, too, but that’s just to get you all started on thinking about what makes you smile.

Tell me about it in the comments, please, as the world needs as much smiles right now as it can get. (And yes, do #StandWithUkraine.)

Folks, the last week has been often frustrating. The news — particularly the airlifts from Afghanistan after the collapse of their government, and the pullout of American troops — has been depressing in the extreme. And it’s seemed that nothing I can do — or that anyone could do — will matter.

That is an illusion. (Granted, one that’s particularly difficult to fight.)

Why?

Well, kindness matters. And one action — one kind thought, word, or deed — can change things for the better.

For example, some of the folks airlifted from Afghanistan are being housed, temporarily, at Fort McCoy up in Sparta, WI. (It’s actually kind of in between Sparta and Tomah. Both are smallish communities.) There are opportunities there to help the Afghani refugees; money is already being collected, I read at the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, to help them acclimate to the United States. (I saw $50 increments, perhaps as gift cards to Target or Walmart, being suggested. But I’d imagine smaller amounts of money will also help, and I’m actively looking for ways to put my small amount of money with other people’s small amounts of money…again, I digress.)

These are kind acts for people who’ve lost everything, including their own culture and language.

(Yes, Americans are also being airlifted from Afghanistan, along with at-risk Afghani people such as former translators and others who worked with the U.S. government. But the Americans know how to acclimate. The Afghanis don’t.)

There are other kind things that you, or I, can do today.

“Barb, what are they? Since you won’t get off this subject, I may as well ask,” you say, in resignation.

Well, they start with talking to a friend you don’t often get to spend time with. (I did that last night. My friend and I chatted as I did laundry at the laundromat, by phone. Too bad I couldn’t do laundry by phone. Ah, well. Better get back to the blog…) Or, if you’re in the grocery store, helping someone who is a bit short with buying groceries to get what they need. (Only do this if you, yourself, can afford it.) Or maybe even something as simple as opening up an umbrella, and letting a stranger share with you, in a downpour…the options are endless, providing you keep an open mind and vow to do unto others as they’d do unto you. (Or as the Wiccans say, “An ye harm none, do what thou wilt.” It’s much the same philosophy.)

Ultimately, kindness is one of the strongest forces in the universe. It may not seem that way, with endless bad news happening day after day, from the never-ending pandemic to the Afghanistan mess to various state legislatures contemplating their own navels rather than trying to do anything productive. But without kindness, what would be the point?

After all, love starts with an act of kindness most of the time, doesn’t it? (It would be very, very odd if love started with acts of indifference. Or worse, outright hatred.)

Love is the strongest thing there is. But kindness, charity toward others, and the willingness to care even when all seems lost — as those poor Afghanis still undoubtedly care, up at Fort McCoy, getting used to a place they’d never before envisioned — is a close second.

So, whatever you do today, do it with kindness. Try to help a friend. Or even a stranger. But do it, because it’s the right thing to do.

Further the writer sayeth not.

This past week, I had to change computers again.

As one of my Facebook friends said, this is a First World problem. That being said, it is still difficult to deal with, and I am not at my best in the first place due to the summertime exacerbation of my asthma and allergies.

Anyway, I have hopes of blogging about George Phillies’ new novel, STAND AGAINST THE LIGHT, later this week. It’s a very good young adult story about a young girl, Eclipse, who has superhero-type powers, and is the only one who can save two different worlds. (While her world understands superheroes, to the point there are many of them at various strengths and levels, very few have her level of gifts or compassion for the less fortunate.) Eclipse has faced adversity, has survived it, but now faces the toughest test of all. And the question isn’t so much “will she survive it” as “if she doesn’t survive it, will the world last long enough to matter?”

Putting a twelve-year-old girl into a situation like that isn’t easy, but I thought George managed it very well. This is the third book in his series about Eclipse, and I can’t wait to read the fourth. (If I’m very lucky, I hope to edit again for him, too.)

So, that’s all I can tell you. I’m dealing with “computer changeover” woes, to the point I want to tear my hair out and start throwing things (well, not really; I’m more mature than that, I hope), and my own writing remains mostly stalled out. But I can still help a friend or two…and I will continue to do what I can, as I can, for as long as I can.

As always.

Folks, the weather in Wisconsin is brutal right now. Way too hot. Way too humid.

I have asthma. (I don’t normally talk much about this.) This weather is particularly bad for me, especially as we’ve had high ozone/poor air quality days recently.

All I know is, when I can’t breathe well, I can’t write or edit. Nor can I play music, compose music, or do much of anything other than endure.

That said, I hope to be able to write something more substantial than “I do not feel well at all” in a few days, as I have managed to get to some air conditioning.

Take care, be safe, and I hope to blog again soon about something inspiring…or at least something different.