Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category
More Thoughts on Love
Folks, one of my friends asked me something just now that I thought I should respond to, so here goes.
I was asked if I believed I could find love again. My answer is yes, I do think so.
At first, I thought it was completely impossible. Love is a once in a lifetime thing, and it’s so rare, its delicacy has to be savored while you have it.
But I’ve had twelve years to think, since my late husband Michael died. And here’s the conclusions I’ve come to…
First, I think every person, every soul, has something to offer that’s unique and distinct and different. So it’s possible to see that, and appreciate that, and try to see if a true connection can be made down the line.
Second, while no one else can be Michael, it’s possible that someone else can be so uniquely himself, so very special and wonderful in his own right, that I’d have to stand up and take notice.
I don’t want to shut down opportunities before they present themselves, mind. But these two thoughts are still quite new. I am trying to figure out what I can bring to the table with anyone else, while still continuing on as myself — the woman who loved Michael B. Caffrey to distraction, and who will always love him.
I hope that down the line, someone special will see what I can give. And what I can receive. And what is possible…maybe is more than I initially thought.
Honestly, I have no idea what will happen next. But I do know this: Michael would kick my butt from here to Kingdom Come if I didn’t try to live my life, enjoy whatever I can wring from it, and do whatever I can to become the best person I can.
So he’d not want me to shut myself off, as I have done. Which is why I’m trying to stay open to possibility, and to choice…even though it’s not easy for me.
Why I Stand with Trek Against Trump…and for Hillary Clinton
Folks, most of you know that I have been firmly in Hillary Clinton’s corner since 2008. I supported her then, I support her now, and I am voting for her for President.
But the reason I’m writing this post today is because of the actors, directors, producers, and writers of STAR TREK (various versions) who’ve identified themselves as Trek Against Trump, and have come out with a statement thereby.
Why is this so important to me? Well, early in my life, I learned to love the original STAR TREK series. That was the first time I saw a racially diverse crew take on all comers, survive and thrive, and live in harmony with each other. Even though there were setbacks, and the humans of the 23rd Century (and later, 24th) were not perfect people by any means, they were hard-working, dedicated to self-improvement and a belief that scientific knowledge along with good common sense could get us anywhere — even the stars.
People could be of different backgrounds, different ethnicities, different gender-flavors, and still get along. Different races such as the Vulcans, Klingons, Andorians, and more could meet with human beings and find some common ground.
I took that knowledge and internalized it. And it certainly gave me more of a belief that I, too, could change the world…or at least myself, if I tried hard enough. It showed me that SF&F stories could make a positive difference, which was enormously important to me, especially as I grew up to become a SF&F writer (no matter how little-known).
One of the things I truly admired about STAR TREK from the get-go is that the crew of the Enterprise (or Deep Space Nine, or Voyager, etc.) were not afraid to stand up for what they believed in, even when it wasn’t popular and even when it was far ahead of its time. The various crews over the years always tried to do the best they possibly could, and learn from their mistakes, too — something more of us, even now, need to have reinforced from time to time.
At any rate, I’m very pleased to stand with Trek Against Trump, because I believe Donald Trump is a clear and present danger to the United States.**
That Donald Trump can fire off a series of Tweets at a former contestant of one of his beauty pageants because he felt she was “too fat” when he, himself, is far from svelte is distracting enough, and shows completely unPresidential character. But that he says he wants to “Make America Great Again” by “knowing more about ISIS than the generals do” and consult mostly with himself (as he’s said over and over again in speeches) is profoundly disturbing.
As a student of history, I am appalled that Donald Trump has a legitimate chance to be the next President of the United States. He has the potential to be someone akin to Mussolini, Stalin, or Hitler — and those are not the personages the next POTUS should wish to emulate.
To those who believe that Hillary Clinton would be just as bad or worse in office, and who live in the United States, I must say this: What are you smoking?
No, she’s not perfect. Yes, there are things I wish she’d have done differently, like never having the private e-mail server.
But she’s a smart, tough, and tenacious woman, and she can work with anyone. If people hate her, she doesn’t care about that; she still goes in there and tries to get the best deal she can.
I also believe Hillary Clinton would work for all the people, even those who refuse to vote for her, even those misanthropic types who call her the “c-word,” even those who just don’t seem to get that this is the most important election in the United States that we’ve possibly ever had.
We have two major party candidates, folks. Chances are one of ’em is going to be the next POTUS…and for the sake of sanity, that person should not be Donald J. Trump.
I know full well that many of my friends can’t abide Hillary Clinton. I also know that most of those same friends can’t abide Donald Trump, either, even though they’re mostly for wildly different reasons. But those of you who aren’t scared to death at the possibility of a Donald Trump Presidency are lying to yourselves.
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Note: I thought long and hard about writing this, too, but it needed to be said. I could not sit silent on this one, even though CHANGING FACES continues to hang fire. I know perfectly well that a big, beautiful woman who writes SF&F stories (including a story with two transgender protagonists like CF) is not someone Trump would even want in his conception of America. That is the main reason I spoke up now.
Second note: I am not quite as worried about people voting for Gary Johnson as the Trek Against Trump folks are for one reason. I think if you’ve always voted GOP or Lib, providing you vote against Trump, that’s a vote he’s expecting to get that he will not get. And a vote for Johnson is still a vote Trump does not get…thank the Deity Above.
**Third Note: The Cincinnati Enquirer said this before I did, last week, in this editorial where they endorsed Hillary Clinton after many years of only endorsing GOP candidates. I read that editorial after writing this blog post.
Meditations on Failure
Folks, I thought long and hard about what to blog about today. There are so many subjects in the news, including Donald Trump’s odd and nonsensical comments about a past Miss Universe contestant (why Trump should care about anyone else’s weight but his own is beyond me), but I decided on this one. I hope you enjoy it.
Failure.
What does it mean, and can we learn anything from it?
Of course, we all know what failure means, roughly. We tried something, and it didn’t work out. That could’ve been anything — a job, a relationship, a creative pursuit, whatever. But some failures hurt more than others, and that’s why I wanted to talk about it today.
Can we learn anything from failure? Can we improve ourselves, and how we move on about our daily business, a little better because we’ve failed at something? Does it make us more empathetic toward others, as it’s a universal condition?
I’d like to think the answer to all of the above questions is yes.
Look. We’ve all done something, said something, or failed to do something or say something that has hurt someone else — or ourselves. We’ve all had days where we didn’t live up to our highest standards; we’ve had days where we couldn’t get anything done; we’ve had days where the only thing that seems constant is the pressure all around us, mocking us, telling us that what we’ve done and said and been has not been enough.
In other words, failure seems like it’s a reinforcement of negative thoughts. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
I’d rather look at failure in a different way, if you don’t mind. Failure is where you tried something that just did not work, for whatever reason. You learned something, probably, even if you don’t realize exactly what that thing was, and you’re going to move forward with a greater knowledge of yourself and others…which, if you think about it from a more healing direction, is a win/win.
“But Barb,” you say. “What about just feeling like a failure, when you’ve not done anything wrong? What about that?”
Hm. That’s a tougher one to talk about, but I’ll try anyway.
Those of us who deal with a great deal of stress every day are going to have times where we can’t do that much. That’s just the way life is. That does not make you a failure, for understanding that you’re going to have a bad day or three here and there.
So, even if you have a bad day, or a whole series of them, please do not think that makes you a permanent failure.
All it means is that you’ve had a bad day (or a series of them).
“But how can I turn that to my advantage, Barb?” you ask, pulling worriedly at your hair. (Yes, I can see you from here. I know you’re doing that. Or some other nervous tic.)
Well, if you can keep it in mind that we all have bad days, and we all have endured them, that might allow you to be more understanding and empathetic…and also give you an appreciation for the good days you previously took for granted.
Why is it that we don’t appreciate good days that much, hm? Why don’t we say to ourselves, “I wrote two thousand words today,” and be as pleased about that as we are for someone else when he or she does it? Why is it we don’t say to ourselves, “Hey, you managed to walk a mile today when your back was out, and it actually made your back feel a little better even though it was exhausting,” when we’d gladly say that to anyone else we know?
In short, I think failure is meant to remind us of two things.
- We’re human.
- No one’s perfect all the time, no matter how hard we try.
So, just for today, be gentle to yourself — as gentle as you’d be with your best friend.
Maybe that way, you’ll be able to have a better day, and do more. (And even if you don’t have either one, it certainly can’t hurt.)
About my Husband Michael, the Writer…
Folks, this is the worst day on the calendar, for me. My husband Michael died on this day, twelve years ago.
Some days, it feels like yesterday. Some days, it feels like forever.
I’ve written a great deal about my husband, about why I feel the need to continue his work as well as my own, about why I feel the need to try to keep his memory alive…about why he still matters to me. And why he will always matter, to me.
Today, I want to talk more about my husband the writer. Because that matters, too.
I wish Michael had broken out, as an author, before he died. He’d have gotten such a kick out of that. We did sell one story — “Bright as Diamonds” in the BEDLAM’S EDGE anthology — before he died, and we told no one. We figured, let people find out when the book was available for pre-order…we even knew what we were going to say.
I remember when we wrote that story together. I can still remember him peering over my shoulder as I wrote the first draft. Then, he’d sit at the computer and work on it in the next draft…we’d converse for the third draft, and I’d write and fix. The fourth draft, he’d sit there, and read it aloud, and he’d write and fix.
In between all that, there were conversations with our editor, Rosemary Edghill, and we made changes accordingly.
I really wish Michael had lived longer, so we could’ve written more stories together.
“But Barb,” you protest. “There are half a dozen stories out there — or have been — with Michael’s name on them. Didn’t he write any of them before he died?”
Yes, and no. You’re right that there have been at least half a dozen stories with his name on them. But every single one of those sales except for the one in BEDLAM’S EDGE came posthumously.
Anyway, back to the subject — my husband, and his writing.
Michael, especially as a writer, was a subtle man. The stories that came out of him were mostly quiet ones, such as Joey Maverick’s adventures, or Columba’s wish to leave her own kingdom and venture out with Cat, also known as the Duc d’Sanchestre.
Michael believed in romance as an element of storytelling, and exercised that element with finesse and style.
Michael spent hours on setting up his story universes. He wanted to know everything about them, in order not to make a mistake.
Then again, if he did make a mistake, he’d say, “Oh, well,” and go back to the drawing board. He didn’t believe in beating himself up. His view was that you should save your energy, fix the problem, and go right on as you were. (More of us should be like this. Including me.)
Perhaps most importantly of all, Michael had a great sense of humor, and could laugh at nearly anything, given the chance. He used all sorts of devices, including puns, witty remarks, and situational humor to exercise his inborn literary gifts — though if I had put it this way when he was alive, he’d have told me I was putting him too high on a pedestal and to knock it off already.
Anyway, that was just a little bit about my husband the writer. I wish he were still here on this plane of existence, writing up a storm, telling me just how Joey Maverick and Belinda Simpson managed to get together, and what, exactly, was missing in “Columba and the Crossing” that I now have to figure out…but I’m glad I got the chance to be with him, and try to complete his work as well as I can.
Because Michael mattered. And his stories matter, too.
Finding Motivation After a Difficult Week
Folks, this past week was extremely difficult.
Why? Well, part of the story — as per usual — is not mine to tell. What I can tell you is that I had a bad allergic reaction and also had to deal with a family health scare…both are resolving well, but at the time they were both major obstacles.
It’s hard to be motivated, after you’ve been run ragged for a week to ten days. (Yes, even for me — “Mrs. Persistence Herself,” one of my friends snickered a few years back — I sometimes run straight on into a brick wall.) Sometimes, all you can do is rest, think about your stories, and prepare to meet your commitments as soon as you can with a whole heart.
“But Barb,” you say. “I thought CHANGING FACES neared completion. Is that what’s getting you down?”
Partly, yes.
I want CHANGING FACES to be done. (I wanted it to be done months ago.) But I also want to put out the best quality book I possibly can, well-edited of course, and readable and interesting. (That the subject matter is a bit controversial — dealing with a male/female couple with both ending up transgender due to a fantasy/spiritual element — only adds a bit of spice to the broth.) I hope people of all sexes, genders, races, political persuasions, etc., will read CHANGING FACES and find some truth in it…because my main, overarching message is that people should see souls. Not bodies.
I want CHANGING FACES to read well as a romance, yes. But I also want it to be something people of all sexes and gender expressions can relate to, because most of us, if we’re honest, feel different. Maybe we’re not as different as Elaine is at the start of CHANGING FACES, as we’re not transgender/gender-fluid. (By the way, language is evolving on this issue. In a year or two, it’s very possible people may just say “gender fluid” for someone like Elaine. I hate to have to point this out, but not everyone reads the time/date stamp on blog posts, and some, when you use “inappropriate” or less than up-to-the-minute terminology, jump to conclusions and assume you’re trying to be disrespectful. But that’s another subject for another day.) But we all do have some difference, something that makes us unique and interesting…something that makes us, at least at times, wonder if we will ever be understood by anyone, loved one or no.
It’s all of this that gives me motivation despite an incredibly difficult and taxing week.
I don’t know if the way my mind works is similar to any other writer’s mind on the planet, of course. But my own mind does work this way, and it’s telling me now to do two things:
- Rest, dammit!
- After you’ve rested, get up and work on CHANGING FACES.
So, that’s what I intend to do.
Thanks for staying along for the ride, and do let me know what you think in the comments, if you are so inclined.
An Overall Update (Mostly About “Changing Faces”)
Folks, every so often, I like to give you an update as to what I’m doing and how well (or poorly) I’m doing it.
And as I’ve had numerous questions as to when CHANGING FACES will come out, I figured I’d best get something up to let you know what’s going on there.
As most of you know, CHANGING FACES was put into the Twilight Times Books Summer catalogue, so the assumption is that I will be able to get it out — at least in e-book — before September 20, 2016 (the very tail-end of summer). Progress has been slow, but steady…overall, I think I will get CF out by September 20, providing my publisher likes my final version, but it’s going to continue to take much thought, time, and energy in order to do this.
(Yes, that’s the main reason why I haven’t blogged much, and it’s definitely the major reason as to why I haven’t written a book review for Shiny Book Review in many months. But I digress.)
As for everything else…my living situation is exactly the same. (I call it “limbo.”) I still can’t talk much about it because much of this particular story is not mine to tell…but I’m looking into all options, in order to avoid imminent distress.
(Yes, this same situation has been going on for four solid months. No, it’s not easy for me to deal with. Yes, I wish I had better options than the ones currently on the table, or I’d have found a way out of this mess. But again, I digress.)
And I’ve edited another book this month, which I hope to tell you about in a few weeks.
As for my own, personal projects — I hope to have an independent Elfyverse novella, “Trouble with Elfs,” out in a couple of weeks. (I’ll talk more about that later.) I have been stalled out on the next Joey Maverick novella, tentatively titled “On Bubastis,” for over a year, but it’s still in the pipeline. I have started outlining a prequel novel, THE QUEST FOR COLUMBA, in my late husband Michael B. Caffrey’s Columba Chronicles universe, but with everything else on my plate, it may not be ready until December — and that’s only if some of the other issues on the table resolve by then.
So, I continue to do the best I can. That, ultimately, is all I can do.
Anyway, blogs will probably continue to be slow, though I do have a couple of guest writers coming over in September to keep y’all amused. And I do hope to get a few book reviews done soon…but CHANGING FACES remains the priority.
Hope you all are doing well, and would enjoy hearing what you and yours are up to, if you feel like discussing it.
On Reading, Writing, and Blogging
Folks, as you know, I’m celebrating the International Authors’ Day Blog Hop, started by writer/blogger Debdatta Desgupta Sahay of b00k r3vi3ws.in and celebrated by a wide variety of writers and bloggers worldwide (including yours truly). But because time was short when I joined the blog-hop initially, I didn’t talk about something Ms. Sahay and many other bloggers in this particular hop have…and that’s about why they love books.
Now, it’s time to change that.
So, why do I love books so much? Is it because they offer different ways of thinking than my own? Is it because of the stories they provide? Or is it simply that I love to see the different ways writers put words together?
Maybe it’s all of that. Or maybe it’s all of that plus more…
Early in my life, I realized that I loved to read. Maybe this is because my grandmother read to me often as a youngster, as did my parents…I remember that by age four or so, I could read books that most kids didn’t pick up until third or fourth grade. By the time I was eight, I was reading Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden mysteries; by age ten, I’d graduated to Sherlock Holmes and baseball biographies (including of Jackie Robinson, Hank Aaron, and Willie Mays, among others). By age twelve or so, I was reading about the civil rights struggles, and various histories…by age fourteen, I was reading Robert A. Heinlein’s TIME ENOUGH FOR LOVE and had read through all of the Andre Norton books I could find, including her Witch World books, the three books set on Warlock, the Time Traders saga, and more.
And with every book I read, the more things I learned. I tried not to stop myself from reading anything I felt I needed to, which sometimes got me into a bit of a pickle (when I was in my early teens, and a boy I liked saw me reading OUR BODIES, OUR SELVES, I remember flushing bright red). But mostly, it taught me that every book, every genre, every author has something to say — and that every book, in its own way, is precious.
Now, there are books that, once read, I have never picked up again. (LORD OF THE FLIES was one of those. Ugh!) I’m human, and I have things I’m partial to…which, considering I grew up to be a science fiction, fantasy, and romance writer, tends to be a little more eclectic than most.
Still. I urge people to broaden their horizons. We writers need to read all sorts of things in order to formulate our stories. And sometimes, we write characters who are nothing whatsoever like us — yet we must do so with conviction, or the reader will tune out. How do we do that unless we’re willing to listen to others who don’t sound like us? Or at least read books that challenge our assumptions, and make us think about the choices we make, and why we make them?
But even if you’re not a writer, I still urge you to read outside your comfort zone. (Writer/blogger Susan Toy has a great set of memes generated from a recent insightful blog post of hers; the memes were created by Chris Graham, of TSRA PROMO GRAPHICS & VISUALS — otherwise known as Chris the Story-Reading Ape.** Chris runs a great blog, and offers many services to indie authors free of charge; if you haven’t been to his blog yet, you really should hightail it over there.)
In fact, here is a great visual put together by Chris G. on behalf of Susan Toy, using her words:
As the author of some very different-than-usual books (including AN ELFY ON THE LOOSE and A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE), I have to hope that more people will start doing just that. And soon.
Anyway, I love reading. I also love to write, especially when the words are flowing and the story’s making sense…and as a blogger, I’ve enjoyed getting a chance to meet people from all over the world.
That is the main reason why I signed up for the International Authors’ Day blog-hop, and it’s why I hope you’ll continue to enjoy reading my blog if it’s the first time you’ve ever stopped by.
Happy Sunday, folks! Keep hopping along…and remember, if you haven’t done so yet, you can get my military SF story “To Survive the Maelstrom” for free as an e-book from Amazon for another day or so, give or take a few.
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**I hate to admit this, but half the time, I write “Chris the Story-Telling Ape,” even though Chris Graham uses TSRA — or “The Story-Reading Ape” — as part of his own company name! Fortunately for me, Chris does not seem to mind this…one of these days, Chris, I’ll get it right. (Starting today, I hope.)
Barb Caffrey's Blog 