Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category
Musings on September…and Mortality
Folks, it’s no secret that I do not like September.
Why? Well, the main reason is that my husband Michael died during this month. So when the weather turns to fall (or at least the calendar does; in Wisconsin, we’re still in summertime mode for whatever reason), I start having trouble with all sorts of things.
You see, it’s hard to create when you’re fighting against grief. Because grieving takes energy. A surprising amount of it, actually…and even though I try hard to set that all aside, sometimes I just can’t.
Mind, I know my husband Michael would not want it to be this way. He was all about laughter, and joyfulness, and creativity…this isn’t the legacy he’d want, for me to feel terrible during the month of September.
Even so, I feel what I feel. Trying to change that doesn’t do any good.
So what do I do when grief gets to be too much? Usually, I read something amusing or divert myself with sports documentaries. (I’m quite partial to ESPN’s “30 for 30” series.)
Sometimes, though, I just have to experience the mourning. I don’t like doing this, but by accepting these awful feelings, I can better put them aside. (I learned this trick from Michael, who was a Zen Buddhist. He felt it made no sense to deny how you truly feel about anything. But if you accept the feelings, whatever they are, and then tell yourself, “I’ve heard them” or “I’ve felt them,” then it’s a little easier to set it aside. I’m not sure why this works, exactly, but it does.)
What’s frustrating is when I run into someone who says, “Barb, it’s been eleven years. Why in the Hell can’t you get past this?”
I know it’s been nearly eleven years. Yet some days, it feels like yesterday; on others, it feels like forever.
Michael was by far the most important person in my life, and I miss him every day. He saw me for what I was, loved every part of me (even the parts of myself I have a hard time loving), helped me create the Elfyverse, cheered me on while I wrote an earlier draft (or two) of CHANGING FACES…he was my biggest cheerleader, my biggest partisan, and my best friend, along with being the only man I’ve ever met who truly understood me.
Maybe that’s why it’s so hard to “get over” his loss. Because it truly is an incalculable loss, and I am well aware that it is. And I refuse to deny this truth, because if I did, I’d be a much different — and far lesser — person.
Besides, I don’t think you ever “get past” someone you loved deeply. I think all you can do is go on; you don’t “move on,” exactly — you go on, with the memories you have and the experiences you’ve had, and you do your best to build on them.
I know Michael would want me to continue to fight it out with CHANGING FACES, and he’d probably say in the end, no one will be able to tell just where I’ve struggled, and why.
So even though September, in general, is a bad month, I’m going to continue to do my best.
Michael wouldn’t want it any other way.
Thoughts About Discrimination
Happy Labor Day, folks!
My mother suggested today’s topic, which is simply this: discrimination. Who faces it, what can we do about it, and why are we still having to talk about it in 2015?
Look. Most of us have faced some form of discrimination in our lives. Some face far more than others, including African-Americans, Latinos, LGBT individuals, and the disabled. Women are often discriminated against in subtle ways, even in the United States, even when able-bodied; straight men sometimes get discriminated against because of their race, ethnicity, creed, or religion.
It is a rare individual indeed who’s faced no discrimination whatsoever in this life.
So why is it that politicians make so much hay pointing one group against another group? Do we not understand that every single one of us is likely to be discriminated against for one reason or another before we die?
Again, some of us face this discrimination every day. One of my earliest friends, an African-American viola player in high school, used to tell me that when she’d show up at auditions, conductors would give her a surprised look. (This quickly went away, as she was a very fine player.) Another of my friends, who is Japanese-American and disabled, has faced so much discrimination in her life, it would be harder for her to find a day where she didn’t deal with any discrimination than the reverse.
I, too, have faced discrimination. I’m disabled — I walk with a cane and wear braces on my hands on bad days due to carpal tunnel syndrome, and these two issues are very hard to camouflage. Plus, I’m not a small woman by any stretch of the imagination; as I’ve told people in the past, people come in all shapes and sizes, and my size is definitely curvier than most.
This might be one reason I have a great deal of sympathy for those currently facing overt and systematic discrimination. (Though just being human should do it, many people cannot put themselves in someone else’s shoes unless they’ve actually been there.) I think people should be judged on what they say, what they do, rather than what they look like or whether or not they need a wheelchair to get around.
And lest you think discrimination is a newfangled idea, it isn’t.
Most of us know about Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. He fought hard for civil rights, for labor unions, and for the dignity of the individual. But did you know other groups of United States citizens have been systematically discriminated against in the past?
My grandmother was of Irish descent, and grew up in Chicago. She told me about the signs she used to see, when she looked for employment in her teens — “No Irish Need Apply.”
And before the Irish were discriminated against, the Italians were discriminated against. Then the Poles. The Finns. The Swedes. The Norwegians. And on, and on…for some reason, the newcomers to the U.S. always seem to see this.
Then, usually, it settles down.
(Why it hasn’t settled down for African-Americans, Latinos, GLBT individuals, or the disabled is something I can’t answer. But I digress.)
All I know is this. We have to do our best every single day. Whether we’re gay, straight, bisexual, gender-fluid, Christian, Wiccan, Buddhist…whether we’re able-bodied or disabled…no matter what the color of our skin, the content of our character matters far, far more — just as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., said.
I urge you to become acquainted with people of different backgrounds. Get past your personal prejudices. Try to see others as individuals. And see where common ground might be found.
Who knows? You might just make a new friend.
Tuesday Morning Roundup…and “Changing Faces” Update
Folks, I have been astonished by the number of visitors to my blog over the past few days.
Who knew that writing a blog about editors winning no awards whatsoever at the Hugo Awards would be so popular?
That said, I figured I’d give you an update as to where I’m at with CHANGING FACES, and maybe talk about a few other things.
My final edit/rewrite of CHANGING FACES is in train. I hope to have it back to my publisher in a month’s time. (It may go longer. It’s hard to say right now.) I hope to hit my publishing window of late October…we already have great cover art, the blurbs have been written, and now it’s up to me to make all changes.
As for why I didn’t do this before? Simple. Two books came up needing changes at the same time. One had a release date before the other. So, naturally, I took care of the book with the earlier release date first.
I’ve been told that A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE will soon have cover art. (Yes, that’s the book I took care of first. I’d hoped that it would come out this past spring, or maybe early in the summer, but the timing just hasn’t aligned thus far.) So I should hit my mid-to-late September window there.
It’s been interesting to do the last-minute touch-ups on A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE, which is of course a young adult urban fantasy novel, and also the intensive work on CHANGING FACES — a transgender romance with alien entities that may just be angels. (So, technically, a fantasy romance. But a transgender fantasy romance. Clear as mud, yes?)
Plus, I finished up a short story for an anthology, I looked over another few stories (as I am pondering what, if anything, I can try at the Writers of the Future contest, as I remain eligible and hope springs eternal), finished up the summer season with the Racine Concert Band, finished an intensive edit for a client…
In other words, the usual.
“So, Barb, when are you going to get back to reviewing over at Shiny Book Review, hmm?”
I hope to have something later this week. I’ve had three or four books ready to go for a while now–but while I was working on both novels, I just didn’t have any time whatsoever for it.
Now that I’m back down to working on one novel, I hope I’ll be able to carve out a bit of time.
Anyway, that’s my update…stay tuned.
Some Good News, Some Bad News…
Folks, I have the proverbial “good news, bad news” update to foist upon you today.
First, the good news. A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE will definitely be out in mid-September of 2015 — meaning a month from now — and a small blurb has been put up at the Twilight Times Books site reflecting what A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE is all about:
http://www.twilighttimesbooks.com/News.html#publishing_notes
As the blurb says:
Young Bruno the Elfy and Sarah, his mostly-human teenage girlfriend, are in deep trouble. Bruno’s Elfy mentor Roberto the Wise is about to be sacrificed by Dennis the Dark Elf, with Sarah’s parents’ help. Things look bleak, but Bruno and Sarah have a few allies no one could possibly expect – human, Elfy, and ghosts. Can young love and desperation win out despite it all?
And before you ask — no, I still don’t have cover art.
The bad news? Well, my second quarter story at the Writers of the Future contest, despite being out longer than any other story I’ve ever had, didn’t do anything. It came up with a flat rejection after 137 days.
This particular story is close to my heart in many ways; it is post-apocalyptic military SF with romance.
Now, there is a bit of interesting byplay here, in that I’m reasonably convinced I will be able to sell this elsewhere. (If not as a novella, as a novel.) So my efforts with this story haven’t been wasted…but of course I’m not happy that I’ve come up with yet another rejection at the WotF Contest.
Look. I’ve been trying submissions there for fourteen years now. (Does this mean I don’t know when to quit? I don’t know. It’s just how I am.) I’ve tried just about everything. I’ve tried magical realism. I’ve tried straight SF. I’ve tried fantasy. I’ve tried fantasy/romance. I’ve tried military SF — which is where my two honorable mentions come from — and now I’ve tried this one.
Which got me nowhere.
I do have a submission in already for Quarter 3. I can’t tell you what it is. I can tell you I’d be utterly astonished if this story does anything…not that it’s not a good story, because I think it is, but I don’t think it’s right for the market.
“So, Barb, why did you send it there, then?” you might be asking.
Because I like to submit something to the WotF Contest, just on the off-chance that lightning strikes. I need the boost to my career that the WotF Contest often provides. It seems to provide instant name recognition, which as a small press/indie author I need very badly…and it also gets your name in front of agents and bigger publishers. (Though even so, you still have to be very careful about whatever contracts you might sign. The reputable publishers will tell you that, but in case you’re not sure of the difference between a reputable pub and a disreputable pub, try either Writer Beware or Preditors and Editors. They’ll set you straight.)
Other than that, I wanted to mention that the Racine Concert Band’s free summer concert series at the Racine Zoo is coming to an end later tonight. Show starts at 7 p.m., and soloists this week are Greg and Kathy Berg (vocalists) and Nancy Quist, trumpet.
Hope to see you there!
A Writer/Editor’s Work Is Never Done…
Folks, you’ve probably noticed two things in the past few weeks.
One, I haven’t been posting much.
Two, I haven’t reviewed a book at all over at Shiny Book Review.
Why? Well, I’m in the midst of revising CHANGING FACES; it’s due out in late October, I already have cover art (I posted about that before, if you missed it), and the preliminary edit is done. Now it’s up to me to fix everything…and that takes time if you want to do it right.
I’m also in the midst of checking over the ARC (advance reader copy) of A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE, which is due out in mid-September. I do not yet have cover art there. But I do have a complete file, the edit has been done, I’ve applied all the changes required…it’s up to me to look at things and make sure I’ve done my job correctly.
Which again means I need to take some time to do it right, of course.
And, finally, I’m wrestling a short story into submission. It’s due tomorrow morning. I’ve really had to fight with this story; I “heard” it in a way that was not conducive to what the story actually is — this may not make much sense to people who don’t write fiction, but the problem I’ve run into is that an older version of the title character has been reminiscing with me about what happened when she turned thirteen. And her older self does not remember all the actual emotions her thirteen-year-old self had. So it hasn’t felt authentic to me.
I have a hard time writing fiction when it doesn’t feel right. I tend to get a lot of scene-setting, descriptions, and no dialogue…then I have to go back and figure the dialogue out, figure out if the descriptions will stand now that I actually have something going on, and then graft the actual action of the piece on last.
It’s time-consuming, but worth it, providing the story sells to the proper market. (Let us sincerely hope it will.)
In the meantime, I also have been dealing with a few edits for clients, as per usual. I had a job interview for an editing job (no, I can’t say where) a few weeks ago, so I prepared for that — as I never go in unprepared if I can help it. And I’ve been playing concerts with the Racine Concert Band every Sunday night at the Racine Zoo since the start of July; we play these concerts on one intensive rehearsal, which means I have to do some practicing in order to do a good job.
All of these things require time and effort, or I may as well not even bother.
But because of this, I can’t do some things I truly want to do, like review a few books at Shiny Book Review.
There’s just no time whatsoever for it. Which makes me feel a little guilty…but I can only do so much.
So there’s the update, folks. I’m working hard, and I hope that I’ll be done soon with my last lookover for A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE…I know I have some folks who’ve been clamoring for it (bless you all!), and I sincerely hope the extra time and effort will be worth it in the end.
Time for A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE’s First #ParanormalLoveWednesday #BlogHop!
Folks, I’m getting a late start today. And as I’m still dealing with the remains of some computer issues, I didn’t get my excerpt up by 6 a.m. EST as the Paranormal Love Wednesday Blog Hop folks strongly prefer.
Despite that, I hope you will enjoy my excerpt from A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE, which is the sequel to AN ELFY ON THE LOOSE. I don’t have cover art yet, but here’s a blurb for you:
Young Bruno the Elfy and Sarah, his mostly-human teenage girlfriend, are in deep trouble. Bruno’s mentor Roberto the Wise is about to be sacrificed by a Dark Elf, and Sarah’s parents have decided to help the Elf rather than the Elfy. Things look bleak and are getting worse by the minute, but Bruno and Sarah have a number of allies — human, Elfy, and ghosts — that the Dark Elf can’t possibly expect. Can young love, desperation, and great unexpected power win out despite it all?
And here’s the excerpt, which is from the beginning of Chapter 8. Bruno is very ill, and a ghost has decided to mix in…
Bruno heard, as if from a long distance away, Sarah say something. He strained to hear her, yet for all his trying, couldn’t get closer. He’d have cried if he could; for now, all he could do was rest. And wait.
::Do you hear me, boy?:: a tired old female voice asked in his head.
Bruno nodded, or tried to nod. How did one nod inside one’s own mind?
::Good,:: the old woman said. ::Listen, boy. Tomorrow will be rough, but I’m going to help you all I can. For now, take my hand.::
He reached out somehow, and took her mental “hand,” all the while feeling new stores of energy floating in. He heard Sarah, still distant but closer now, saying in disbelief, “I felt an extra set of hands helping us. Did the rest of you feel anything?”
“Something…odd,” Rebecca said in a speculative tone, before Bruno lost the thread.
Bruno wondered why this time, Sarah had felt the spirit’s mental “hand,” when she’d missed it before.
::I wanted her to feel it now, boy,:: the female voice said. ::Otherwise, she wouldn’t, even though she’s more powerful now than I ever was at the height of my powers in life.::
::This…is too much for me, old mother,:: he stammered mentally. ::I’m very tired. Why can’t you let me rest?::
::I can’t, boy,:: she said. ::Wish I could. We’re almost out of time as it is. For now, listen to your beloved.::
I hope you enjoyed this excerpt from A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE. The tentative date of the e-book release is September 15, 2015…now, go take a look at the others taking part in #ParanormalLoveWednesday’s #BlogHop!
| 1. | Andrea R. Cooper | 4. | Trevann Rogers | 7. | Angelica Primm | |
| 2. | Bokerah | 5. | P.T. Macias, Author | |||
| 3. | Elizabeth Andrews | 6. | Barb Caffrey |

