Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category
Periodic State of the Elfyverse (2012 Version)
Folks, I just realized I hadn’t given a status update regarding the Elfyverse in a while — for shame. So, here we go:
ELFY is complete, hasn’t found an agent, and while I’ve had a few nibbles, most want me to split the book sight unseen as it’s 240,000 words long. That just doesn’t feel right; if someone read it and felt there were good split points, that would be different. But not reading it, then saying it should be split three ways (that’s what I’ve heard; two, I could almost see)? Why should I do this if someone isn’t willing to read a synopsis, much less the first chapter or two of ELFY, before they say it must be split? (I know it’s not the ideal length for a debut author to get a book over, that’s for sure. But I do want someone to know what they’re dealing with before he or she tells me the “only way to go.”) By the way, if you’re wondering what ELFY is about, please go here and read more about it.
Now, the sequel to ELFY, AN ELFY ABROAD, will definitely need to be split as it’s grown to a humongous 320,000 words. (Yikes!) But I do see a good split point halfway through, there . . . also, the final edit obviously hasn’t been done as I haven’t completed the work yet. (I’ve known about where I’m going for the last year and a half, but it’s proven to be quite elusive. I don’t get a chance to talk writing much with anyone these days, much less someone who completely understands what I’m trying to do; that doesn’t help.)
Anyway, the good news there is that I’ve written about ten thousand words into EA since the last time I mentioned anything about the Elfyverse (when was that? November of ’11, I think; a bit before my friend Jeff died).
As for KEISHA’S VOW, which is an ELFY prequel set in 1954, I’ve written a new chapter there and am at work on the next one. KV now stands at about 50,000 words, plus some deleted scenes.
Now, in case anyone here was waiting for a CHANGING FACES update (more about CF is available here) — a non-Elfyverse urban fantasy, which I was working on in November (I had to put it aside for a while after my friend Jeff died quite suddenly) — I’ve written a couple thousand new words there in the New Year (how odd that sounds to write in March!). I’ve also planned out the next chapter, and believe I have an ending that just might work. Things are looking up in that quarter.
Novellas? I have one in progress; it’s called “The Gift,” and it’s a spiritual romance/urban fantasy. I have looked at it, realized it needs to be restructured, but can’t figure out what would serve me best. So aside from planning, not much has been done there since November of ’11. But I’ll keep working at it.
Short stories? I have a few in the works, but nothing that I’ve started since January 1, 2012, is anywhere near completion.
Otherwise, I do intend to enter the Writers of the Future contest again if at all possible; the next quarter’s deadline is March 31 (end of this month). (I guess this is my way of saying I haven’t given up on short story writing, even though I find it much, much more difficult than writing a novel or even writing a poem.)
That’s about it; still writing and working away, as per usual. (And you?)
Donald Driver does “Dancing with the Stars”
Folks, in case you haven’t heard yet, Green Bay Packers wide receiver Donald Driver, 37, who holds a number of receiving records for the Packers, has decided to become a contestant on ABC’s hit TV show, “Dancing with the Stars.” Driver will be teamed with Peta Murgatroyd, and has already said that the idea of getting spray tanned or wearing some of the outlandish outfits both men and women are expected to wear is going to take some getting used to.
Here’s a link to a story from Sports Illustrated about Driver going on DWTS that focuses on the oddity of athletes going on this show at all:
And the Los Angeles Times asks the question, “Can Donald Driver stay healthy?” Here’s a relevant quote:
But injuries tend to run through “DWTS” seasons like linemen picking their way through an agility ladder. . . even experienced hoofers have been plagued with physical woes, including Jennifer Grey, who rose to fame in the film “Dirty Dancing.”
. . .
This should all be sobering stuff for Driver, who has played for the Packers since 1999 and — unlike fellow “DWTS” contestant Martina Navratilova, who retired from tennis years ago — is still very much in the game. At 37, he’s getting on in years for an NFL-er. And he has seen his share of workplace injuries in recent years. He sprained his ankle early during the 2011 Super Bowl and couldn’t return to the game, although the Packers won anyway.
What’s most surprising about the news that Driver will go on DWTS is that there were no hints in Wisconsin about this to the best of my knowledge; absolutely none. Driver is a guy with a sunny personality and a very strong work ethic who’s done a great deal for charity in the past; if any of his personal charm translates to television, my guess is that he’ll do very well, providing he doesn’t sustain a serious injury.
I hate even writing the last, mind you, though it wasn’t me who brought up the “injury subject.” But it’s the truth; even well-conditioned athletes like Driver have had troubles on this show because what they’re doing, dance-wise, is very different from what they do on the football field, on the basketball court, etc. Dancing uses different muscles and that’s why someone who is in excellent shape can still end up injured (with the worst injury coming to Misty May Treanor several years ago, who tore her Achilles tendon; her partner was Maksim Chmerikovskiy).
Here’s to Driver for being willing to do something way out of his comfort zone. And may he do well, be pain-free, and learn a new skill that he can share with his wife down the line during this season of DWTS.
Vinny Rottino Redux, AKA Rottino’s Persistence Pays Off
More people should be like Vinny Rottino.
As most of you who follow this blog know, I’ve been keeping an eye on the Racine-born Rottino. His quest to become a major league baseball player is compelling for many reasons, but the biggest and best reason to follow Rottino’s story is because he refuses to give up on himself.
Rottino knows he has the talent to play in the major leagues, and because he knows that, he is willing to do whatever it takes to make it.
Racine Journal-Times sportswriter Peter Jackel wrote a very nice article about Rottino in yesterday’s edition; the headline read, “Irresistible force: Resilient Rottino Rewarded with Another Shot.” (I really like that alliteration there; whoever wrote that headline did a great job.) Take a look at that article here:
Jackel points out in his article that Rottino was the Milwaukee Brewers minor league player of the year in 2004 — his second year in the minors — and though he’s had some at-bats and a bit of playing time here and there with the Brewers, and last year with the then-Florida Marlins, Rottino has never had extended playing time with any major league team (as he’s also spent time in the Los Angeles Dodgers’ minor league system, too).
But the New York Mets wanted Rottino because of his tough-minded, hard-nosed attitude; this is why they signed him last November. As Paul Depodesta, the Mets Vice President of Player Development, said in Jackel’s article,
“Vinny’s hard-nosed style of play absolutely played a role in our decision to sign him. We know he’ll fit well with our manager, Terry Collins, who shares Vinny’s passion and intensity, and he’ll be appreciated by the fans in New York.”
This is a great deal more than is usually said about any guy who’s expected to be a career minor leaguer (or as the baseball types have it, a “four-A” player — someone who is really good in AAA, but isn’t quite good enough to play in the big leagues).
Podesta also says in the article that one of the reasons the Mets signed Rottino is because he can play a number of positions, including at least two of three of the most-valued positions — catcher, center field, and shortstop. Rottino was a shortstop in high school and college, so he knows that position well. He plays all three OF positions, though he really doesn’t have the speed to be an everyday center fielder. And he is a very good catcher — a dependable backup — which is a neat trick considering he didn’t even start learning the position until he was around 26 years old.
Rottino will be 32 in early April. He knows he’s not a prospect anymore — Jackel even said so in his article — but he has a lot to give any organization that gives him a chance. Rottino can hit left-handers rather better than his major league average (a sample-sized 36 ABs) indicates. Rottino has “gap power” — meaning he’s not a home run hitter, but he’s a reliable threat for doubles and the occasional triple. He’s a contact hitter who rarely makes stupid mistakes (and if he does make one, he immediately corrects it and doesn’t compound his error; I cannot imagine Rottino making the mistake Jerry Hairston, Jr., made in the Brewers NLCS on that double-error play, for example), he won’t run you out of innings, and he has deceptive speed — even at his somewhat advanced age for a ballplayer, he had 17 SBs last year, which led his triple-A team, the New Orleans Zephyrs. (Not bad for a catcher, huh?)
Anyway, I know Rottino can play, so if he gets a shot, he’ll do well.
The rest of us need to learn from his example; keep trying, and don’t give up, no matter what you do. All you can do is give yourself the best chance to make it in your field — in my case, that’s writing and editing, and I am somewhat older than most people who are hoping to make it in this business (let’s just say “older than Rottino” and be done with it, OK?) — and keep working on your “tool set” every day. (For Rottino, he takes lots of batting and fielding practice. For someone like me, that means something along the lines of, “Write something every day.” And considering I’m a musician, too, the days I am able to circumvent my carpal tunnel syndrome and practice my saxophone count as advancing toward my goals, too.)
You see, like Rottino, all I can do is to “keep (myself) in the game.” So if there is an opportunity, I’ll be practiced and versatile enough to seize that opportunity before it’s gone; I cannot make the opportunity, but I can definitely prepare myself to seize upon it whenever that opportunity finally presents itself.
Rottino himself said it best, though; when Jackel asked him what will happen if Rottino doesn’t make it in the bigs this time, Rottino said he’d keep trying (this was summed up by Jackel in the article). Then he said this:
“I think God has got me on this path for some reason and I’ll find out why someday.”
I am so glad that I’m not the only one who wonders about this sort of meandering path (though it seems to me that Rottino’s path has been slightly less circuitous than my own).
But I will not stop, folks; I plan to be like Vinny Rottino. I know I have the talent, and I know I will persevere. With perseverance and talent, I hope to seize upon any opportunity that comes to hand. Because that’s literally the only way to win.
Good luck, Vinny — and may the wind be at your back.
Persistence: Keep it Going
Folks, there are many things that I could talk about tonight, but rather than talk politics, sports, or the latest outrageous things going on in Wisconsin, I’d rather talk about something near and dear to my heart: the willingness to persist.
You see, no matter what you do in this life, if you believe in what you do, you must keep trying. No matter how long it takes, refuse to give up on yourself; do a little bit every day that advances you toward whatever your goal may be, and down the line, not only will you reach your initial goal, you’ll probably reach goals that you’d previously believed insurmountable.
I’m a writer, an editor, a reviewer, a musician, and a composer. (Many other things, too, but those will do for now.) I decided long ago that I was going to do something every day that would help me advance toward my goals, and that’s helped me continue despite what would seem to be mighty long odds.
Ultimately, I’m just like anyone else, except for one thing: I am highly motivated, and I refuse to give up. (Well, that’s two things, albeit two closely-related things.)
Today, what I did to advance me toward my goal(s) was to edit for several hours, then write this blog. Tomorrow, I plan to write a review, then work on AN ELFY ABROAD and KEISHA’S VOW (both Elfyverse novels); if all goes well, there’s a collaborative project with another writer that I hope to work on as well.
Lazette Gifford, who runs the Forward Motion Writer’s Group (at http://fmwriters.com), has said that all you need to do is to write 100 words a day. Most writers fiddle around on the Internet, or fiddle around doing something else rather than write; if you write just 100 words a day, at the end of the year, you will have 36,500 words written. (This would be a novella if completed at the end of a year, or approximately one-third of a full-fledged novel if you’ve decided that your story needs more fleshing out to make sense.)
In my case, I tend to use the little bits of time I have to sketch things out on notepad (which counts, too) rather than open up a file on the computer. But I do tend to get more than 700 words written in a week, too; most of the time, even in a bad week, I manage to get 4000 words written, or 16,000 average in a month. If I’m very ill during a week and can’t write, I continue to sketch things out and write notes in prose-form, which also counts as actual work. Then my next weekly total looks astronomical — something like 10,000 words in a week — as most of the work has already been done; now I just have to flesh things out with dialogue and descriptions and such.
At any rate, please don’t listen to anyone who says you “can’t write” or that your reviews don’t make sense or that your editing leaves a lot to be desired. This is going to happen to us all (or something similar will); all we can do is persist, persist, persist. And then persist some more. Because persistence is the key; without it, you absolutely cannot win.
So keep on keepin’ on, folks. And I’ll meet you on the flip side.
Valentine’s Day 2012 — A Slow, Quiet Day
Today was a slow, quiet day in most respects; I mostly focused on editing. But then I realized that I hadn’t posted a blog subject in several days (bad, bad me), so that’s why you’re seeing a new one even though I have little to say of consequence.
That being said, let’s get to it.
Folks, those of you who have living spouses and/or significant others, I hope you’ve had a wonderful Valentine’s Day.
For the rest of y’all, who are in my position — that is, widows and widowers — do your best to remember how it felt to be fully alive in all senses, and how it felt to love and be loved in return. That’s the best way we have to honor our loved ones, so treasure those memories and do not surrender them even if (when?) you manage to find someone new to love down the road. Because if someone falls in love with you, they have to fall in love with every part of you, not just the parts they like — or the parts that are easiest to love. And as a wise man once told me, “Michael was a very big part of your life. How you could possibly excise him in order to tempt someone else into a relationship is beyond me. So don’t listen to anyone who tells you not to talk about Michael, because that person is, as you say, ‘plain, flat wrong.'” (Three guesses as to who said this, and the first two don’t count.)
Anyway, this is what I said last year, and it still holds true for this year and many years to come:
https://elfyverse.wordpress.com/2011/02/14/valentines-day-for-love-not-conspicuous-consumption/
So remember, folks; V-Day should be all about love, not all about what gifts you give (or get in return).
Enjoy!
Beware Absolutes
Tonight’s blog post is simple: beware absolutes, especially when it comes to writing.
Look. When we write, if we write about a character who has only one motivation, that’s going to be a one-dimensional character that’s tough to work with. And yet the world is full of “shades of gray,” which you’d never know if you turned on the evening news or if you listened to political talk shows all day (as I often do; I do rotate from the leftward spinning ones of MSNBC to the rightward spinning ones of Fox News to at least get some variety in the coverage).
How people see things is often related to how they’ve heard those same things be described in the past. This is just the way our contemporary, 21st Century world is; perhaps it’s because we don’t seem to have enough time to be able to think for ourselves after carefully studying the issues. Or perhaps it’s just more comfortable for us to be around others who share our world view and belief system, which might be why so many of us look at the world in the most basic, absolute, black-and-white thinking imaginable.
For a writer, this sort of ultra-concrete thinking is deadly. It creates dull, one-dimensional characters which populate dull, one-dimensional stories, and those are stories no one wants to read.
Now, there have been legitimate times in the world history where there was a really good system versus a terrible one — such as during the 1930s until 1945. What Adolf Hitler did to Germany was unconscionable, but the reason we still read about him is because he wasn’t one-dimensional (no matter how much we might’ve wanted him to be). This is a man who painted (though not well). He loved music, and was a devotee of Wagner. He enjoyed comparative religion and religious philosophy. And no matter how much you might loathe him (I know I certainly do), he definitely was a multi-faceted person with a huge amount of interests that fascinates readers even now due to both his psychological complexity and the fact that he was able to subjugate an entire country to his whims.
We writers must learn from history and remember that even the worst people thought they were doing the right thing by their lights. (They might be the only one thinking they were doing the right thing, mind you.) That even the worst people probably had occasional pangs of conscience. And that even the worst people were not one-dimensional cardboard cutouts.
Mind you, you also need to be cognizant of the flip side, as there are very few angelic types in this world (Mother Teresa, Father Damien the Leper Priest, and a very few others). These “earth angels” among us (or bodhisattvas, if you’d prefer that term) knew they were fallible, mortal, and just as guilty of having a bad thought or a bad day as anyone else.
Remember always to “beware absolutes,” and beware absolutism. Because that is the enemy not only of good writing, but of good thinking as well.
Certainty, AKA a Mixed Bag of Thoughts
I’ve just had the oddest thing happen: someone accused me of being, of all things, certain.
Hmmm.
As a writer, especially of opinion pieces (which, make no mistake about it, blog posts can’t help but be most of the time), it wouldn’t go over well to take a more equivocal stance. So perhaps that’s why I may seem so “certain” some of the time, even though I’m just like anyone else and have more than my share of uncertainty, too.
One good thing about this world is that there are a wide variety of people in it. This helps to promote an interesting dialogue, if you’re willing to listen, and only by listening — and learning — can you get anywhere.
Observation is one of the key skills writers attempt to learn; it’s how we grow, as writers. We can’t just assume we know everything, even when we’re playing around in our own little created universes; if we do, we are doomed.
I have friends of all political stripes, all ethnicities, and all ages, because I find diversity not only necessary, but also to be intellectually stimulating. This helps me observe, which helps me learn in the bargain; in effect, it’s a “win/win” strategy, and it’s one that I hope keeps me from an interminable stay within the “doomed” category.
That said, I have very strong opinions. If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you already know that. I’m not likely to change some of ’em, especially when it comes to actions I find stupid, pointless, unnecessary, or unjustifiable. I’m also not keen on hypocrisy, as I find it the root of many actions that I, personally, find reprehensible in modern daily life.
All this means is that I’m sometimes extremely certain; at other times, I’m as uncertain as a newborn babe. Because that’s what being human is all about.
So, please. Don’t accuse me of “certainty” as a way of life. Instead, give me credit for being as human as you are. (Because believe you me, this blog isn’t writing itself.)
Today’s Writing Update
Folks, I haven’t posted much this past week due to the whole controversy over SOPA and PIPA — the two controversial bills that are currently sitting in the United States Congress that, if passed, would likely muzzle the Internet and independent blogs like this one.
However, it’s time for a writing update, so here goes. Most of what I’ve done is in the realm of planning or outlining; actual, fiction writing has been at a minimum, something I’m hesitant to discuss most of the time because a writer who can’t write seems almost as useless as a fish who needs a bicycle (feminist allusion intended).
I’ve been sick for weeks (sinus issues, mostly, which have exacerbated my asthma), which isn’t conducive to creativity. Whatever’s wrong this time appears to be a viral thing which I have to just wait out rather than anything that can be cured by antibiotics; this is very frustrating. All I can do is try to grab some extra sleep when it’s available and continue on the best I can otherwise.**
Fortunately, I’m still able to edit or I’d be even more frustrated than I am already.
Anyway, my hope is to get some fiction writing in later tonight or tomorrow if possible; that may well make me feel better even if this viral issue continues unabated. This way, I might actually be able to report something positive, rather than continue to give the verbal equivalent of the null set regarding the Elfyverse and any other piece of fiction writing that’s currently awaiting a dash of creativity (or at least a wee bit of energy).
———–
** Michael’s advice when I was ill was not to be too hard on myself, and to rest if at all possible as he knew I tend to drive myself too hard as I am my own worst critic. I’m trying to take his advice.
Jeff’s advice when I was ill was for me to get as much rest as I possibly could and remind myself that I’ll write when I’m feeling a little better, or have had a bit of sleep. I’m trying to take his advice, too.
2011: My Year in Review (the Good, the Bad, and the Incredibly Sad)
Everyone’s doing a “2011 Year in Review” column; at some places, like Shiny Book Review, this makes more sense (there, we did a “best of 2011” piece; check it out here). So I thought I’d do one, too, incorporating most of what went on that’s fit to print that made any sort of impact on my life whatsoever.
Note that as Shiny Book Review has already been covered, I’m not going to say much about it here; I enjoyed posting reviews in 2011, and I will continue to do the same in 2012.
As far as fiction writing goes, I estimate that I wrote about 150,000 words on various projects. I completed a new chapter and a half of CHANGING FACES; this will be finished in 2012. I wrote a new chapter and revised five chapters of KEISHA’S VOW, an ELFY prequel set in 1954. I wrote a new chapter and a half and revised six chapters of AN ELFY ABROAD, the direct sequel to ELFY. I did my best to find an agent, but found no takers.
As far as editing goes, I was pleased to edit six different books — one on conventions and careers, four medical books (including one anthology), and one science fiction novel. More editing is planned for the New Year.
Now, let’s get to the month-by-month breakdown of other events.
January 2011:
New Republican Governor Scott Walker takes office, turns down federal railroad funds (following through on his election promise to do so), vows to work with everyone, etc. (Too bad that last was all talk.)
“Joey Maverick: On Westmount Station” published at e-Quill Publishing (with Michael B. Caffrey). This is the first piece of writing in Michael’s universe sold in over five years; I wrote over half of this story, but it continues to go under Michael’s name as an editorial decision by e-Quill’s publisher as it’s a continuing series. (I’m sure Michael wouldn’t have approved, but there’s nothing to be done. My name is on it as the secondary writer and there’s a permanent link to this story on this blog’s sidebar.)
Green Bay Packers blow through post-season, winning the National Football Conference championship. Will represent NFC in the Super Bowl.
January 8: United States Representative Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ) shot in the head by crazed gunman; she miraculously survives and recovers. Several staff-members and innocent bystanders killed, including U.S. District Judge John Roll. Gunman in police custody.
February 2011:
February 6: Packers win Super Bowl XLV.
February 11: Scott Walker vows to eliminate collective bargaining for all public employee unions (including teachers, nurses, and snowplow drivers, among others) except for fire and police personnel. A firestorm of protest follows; the fourteen Democratic state Senators (“Wisconsin 14”) flee the state in order to deny the Legislature a quorum to keep the Republican-dominated Senate from passing a companion bill to the quickly-passed bill from the Republican-dominated Assembly. The “WI 14” state their reason for doing this as the only way to educate the public as to what this bill will do to the state; more protests ensue.
March 2011:
Gov. Walker and his allies, including Lieutenant Governor Rebecca Kleefisch, Senate Majority Leader Scott Fitzgerald (R-Juneau) and Assembly Speaker Jeff Fitzgerald (R-Horicon, brother of Scott F.), take to the airwaves urging the WI 14 to return to Wisconsin so Senate Bill 10 (eliminating collective bargaining for all public employee unions, even though the teachers, nurses, etc., have all vowed publicly to take paycuts and give back vacation days and pay more for their health and life insurance providing collective bargaining is left in place) can be passed.
March 9: Senate strips all financial provisions out of the bill, allowing it to be passed without a quorum. Only Dale Schultz (R-Richland Center) opposes this bill, saying it goes too far; the Senate passes this motion 18-1.
March 12: WI 14 returns to state to loud acclaim from most; some vow to recall their sitting state Senators from both parties.
April 2011:
Milwaukee Brewers start their season.
Vinny Rottino starts season with New Orleans Zephyrs of the Pacific Coast League (affiliated with the Florida Marlins, prior to the Marlins’ name change).
JoAnne Kloppenburg loses state Supreme Court race to incumbent David Prosser by less than 1/2 of 1% of the vote. Recount commences.
April 21: Recall petitions filed for nine Senators, six Republicans and three Democrats. Elections scheduled for three different days; the first is held in mid-July.
May 2011:
Rottino has a fantastic month for the Zephyrs.
Brewers are still rounding into form.
Looking forward to recall elections.
Receive praise but no sales for three separate pieces of writing.
May 1: Osama bin Laden killed, at long last.
May 23: Recount confirms David Prosser as winner of state Supreme Court seat. JoAnne Kloppenburg decides not to sue; eventually seeks seat on state’s Appellate Court.
June 2011:
Observe my ninth wedding anniversary, the seventh spent alone since Michael’s untimely death in 2004.
Waiting avidly for recall elections.
July 2011:
Ryan Braun, Prince Fielder, and Rickie Weeks elected to represent the Brewers at the All-Star Game. Braun is on the disabled list; does not play. Minor controversy ensues as closer John Axford, having an excellent season, is not named to the All-Star team, nor is Brewers ace Yovani Gallardo.
Observe my late husband’s birthday even though, were he alive, he’d have taken no notice of the event. (Michael counted unBirthdays instead, as there were a whole lot more of them, thus more to celebrate.)
Vinny Rottino makes the AAA All-Star team for the first time since 2008.
July 19: Dave Hansen (D-Green Bay) is easily retained in his recall election.
July 31: Debt-ceiling crisis legislation is signed by President Obama. Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) claims victory. Most people unimpressed; Congress’s approval rating falls to new lows, and the President’s approval rating takes a hit, too.
August 2011:
Observe my birthday, though my best friend Jeff is many states away and my husband is long dead, so I wonder what the point is.
August 9: Two Republican state Senators, Dan Kapanke (La Crosse) and Randy Hopper (Fond du Lac) are ousted in recall elections. Another four Republican state Senators, Alberta Darling (River Hills), Robert Cowles (Green Bay), Sheila Harsdorf (River Falls) and Luther Olsen (Ripon) are retained.
August 16: Both Democratic Senators up for recall, Bob Wirch of Kenosha and Jim Holperin of Conover, are easily retained. Status of nine recalls: Two Rs lost their seats, while four Rs were retained. All three Ds were retained. Wisconsin state Senate stands at 17 Rs and 16 Ds.
September 2011:
Vinny Rottino’s fine AAA season is rewarded by a September call-up from the Florida Marlins. He plays in several games, mostly as a pinch hitter or in the outfield. Gets a few hits.
Occupy Wall Street (soon to be Occupy Everywhere) movement starts.
Tenth anniversary of 9/11/01.
Observed the seventh anniversary of Michael’s last day of life on 9/21/11.
Late September: Jeff falls ill but does not go to the doctor.
September 28: Milwaukee Brewers win first National League Central division title in history, make post-season play for first time since 2008. Hopes are high. John Axford sets single-season saves record with 46 and most saves successfully converted in a row with 42.
October 2011:
October 7: Brewers win first post-season series against Arizona Diamondbacks (3-2).
mid-October: Jeff is taken to the hospital and is quickly transferred to the best specialty hospital in Northern Colorado. Bacterial endocarditis is the diagnosis. I don’t find out about it until he’s been in the hospital seven days (fortunately he told a good friend there how to get a hold of me). He nearly dies on the table due to open-heart surgery, something I don’t find out until nearly two days afterward. He’s unable to talk for nearly two weeks and is mostly unresponsive to stimuli. Death seems near.
October 16: Brewers lose National League Championship series to eventual World Series champs St. Louis Cardinals; I’m more obsessed with Jeff’s condition and say so.
October 20: Moammar Qaddafi, dictator of Libya, killed. This, too, barely registers.
November 2011:
Jeff slowly starts to get better, regaining his powers of speech and mobility. Cannot read well, which vexes him as a longtime, avid reader — and cannot write or create, which vexes him as a writer. He improves so much he’s transferred to a long-term rehabiliation place (I talk with him every night he’s able, which basically is every single night).
However, Jeff only lives for four days after he’s transferred to rehab; in our last conversation on November 11, he tells me he’s exhausted and wondering when he’s going to get better, though he’s mostly upbeat. Inwardly, I cheer that he has enough energy to mildly complain; I look forward to our next phone call, which was to be on November 12 at 7:45 p.m MST.
November 12: At 7 p.m. MST, Jeff has a massive stroke and is taken back to the specialty hospital. I don’t find out about this until November 13; all I know at the time is that Jeff hasn’t answered his phone, and I’m not able to get anyone at the rehab place to find out why.
November 13: Get call from Jeff’s brother, Randy; Jeff is dead. The stroke killed him. His parents were with him when he died.
None of this comforts me at all, as I’d been hoping somehow to get out to him to visit and cheer him up.
His death, which a few weeks ago had seemed imminent, now seems like an extremely bad joke made by an unloving, uncaring Deity; Jeff had worked so hard to regain his speech and mobility, and could reason and think. His personality and most of his memories were intact. He deserved a lot more time, to fully recover, and for him and I to be able to see each other, bare minimum. To say that I find this monstrously unfair is a severe understatement.
November 15: Wrote a poem for Jeff, in memoriam. I hope he’d have enjoyed it (poem is below).
November 21: Jeff would’ve turned 48 today, had he lived. Instead, his memorial service is called in Fort Collins, Colorado, and I’m unable to go due to financial considerations (I will regret this to the end of my life, and probably afterward).
I start to slowly come to terms with the fact that the best friend I’ve ever had, save only my late husband Michael, is dead. (Jeff was my staunchest supporter as a writer and poet who gave well-thought out, helpful criticism.) I find out that Jeff was writing a novel, which he’d never shown me (though he had shown me six in-progress short stories, various pieces of non-fiction, and other writing, all of it excellent), at the time of his passing. Now, none of his writing will ever be completed.
I reflect upon Jeff’s compassion, which was probably his strongest and best quality besides his high intelligence and creativity. I reflect upon the fact that six years ago, I had no idea our friendship would grow to the point that he was my acknowledged best friend . . . who knows where it would’ve gone, had he lived? (Now, I will never know, and that’s a sadness I can’t even begin to express, were I to write from now until the end of time.) I’m grateful for the time I had with him, but I really wish there had been more of it because if anyone deserved more, it was Jeff.
I wonder, again, what the point is, when I can’t even get to see my best friend before he dies, then can’t get to his funeral, either, when I dearly wanted to do both things. (Financial considerations be damned.)
Other stuff:
November 15: Recall petitions to oust Gov. Scott Walker, Lt. Gov. Kleefisch, and Racine’s state Senator Van Wanggaard (all Rs) are filed. I’d been looking forward to this for months, but due to Jeff’s death, it barely registers. Did sign the recall forms and get a few signatures, as Jeff was very strongly in favor of all of these people being recalled (we talked of this on November 11, and he’s the one who brought it up — as I said, his mind was intact and it was sharp); I tell myself that he’d be happy I was doing something I’d looked forward to, and try to be content with that even though I know I’ll never hear his voice again.
Ryan Braun wins NL Most Valuable Player award. Prince Fielder departs in free agency (is currently unsigned).
Vinny Rottino signs a minor league free-agent contract with the New York Mets; he will be invited to Spring Training.
December 2011:
December 13: Play first concert in thirteen years as a member of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside Community Band; I play a lengthy, extended solo in Valerie Coleman’s composition, “Roma.” My sister is in the audience, and says I haven’t lost a thing. (I like to think that both Michael and Jeff were listening, too, from wherever they are in the positive afterlife. I hope they were pleased.)
mid-December: Ryan Braun accused of taking performance-enhancing drugs; he appeals this decision and proclaims his innocence. (For the record, I believe him.)
December 17: North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il dies.
Just before Christmas: Federal government plunges into yet another crisis when House of Representatives initially refuses to extend the payroll tax cut. Speaker Boehner adamantly defends his party, which includes many hard-right Rs self-identifying as “Tea Party” members, but is eventually talked around due to public statements made by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), former George W. Bush advisor Karl Rove, and a strongly-worded Wall Street Journal editorial advising him to just give in already. Congress adjourns and goes home for the holidays.
Winter holidays commence; once again, I wonder what the point is. The present I’d bought for my friend Jeff gathers dust as I can’t bear to put it away, nor can I part with it; the musical composition I’m working on to commemorate Jeff’s life and death is, at best, half-finished at 64 bars. I’m told by a couple of poets I respect that my poem for Jeff won’t stand alone, thus has no chance of independent publication — which is why it’s here, so you all can read it and think about it, instead.
Note that this is a very formal way of writing, which is quite different from my usual, free-form style. I wanted to impose some sort of structure on my shock, which is why I came up with this particular poem. And while I believe this is among the most important pieces of writing I’ve ever created, it’s something I profoundly wish I’d not have had to do — much less this soon.
Here goes . . . but before I forget, Happy New Year, everyone.
*********** POETRY SEPARATOR ***********
“A Poem for Jeff Wilson — in Memoriam”
by Barb Caffrey
One who seeks is
one who asks
the questions that
no one else dares.
One who seeks is
one who finds
the answers, which are
unknowable.
One who waits is
one who looks
for love, creeping
in unawares . . . .
One who waits is
one who hopes
for light, which breaks
the dark forever.
One who waits is
one who seeks
out answers, or
merely himself.
——– written November 15, 2011
Powerball Execs Stupidly Raise Price to $2 per Line — Hello, Bad Economy, Anyone?
Remember how I said a few days ago that I was having trouble coming up with meaningful blog subjects?
Well, forget that, because today’s blog subject is so easy I’m surprised no one else has taken a whack at it.
Put succinctly: who came up with the idea that Powerball should cost $2 per line rather than $1 in this terrible economy? And why hasn’t that person been fired by now due to this atrocious idea, rather than Powerball being about to institute their new $2-per-line “fee schedule” on January 15, 2012?
As of that date, Powerball will raise its opening jackpot to $40 million (meaning you can never win less than this if you take the multi-year option prize) and will guarantee that you’ll win $1,000,000 if you match five of five numbers (rather than the current $200,000). And they’re touting that the “overall odds” to win a prize will be better — I don’t see it, but whatever — which must be the reasoning they used.
But that is not enough to justify raising the price from $1 to $2 per line, especially as the popular “multiplier” feature is not included — it’s still separate. So if you want to “multiply” your prize, you’ll now have to pay $3 per line rather than $2. While this isn’t as big a jump — because the multiplier feature has remained the same at $1 per line — this is still a jump and most people won’t bother.
Now, as to the reality of why people play Powerball and other lottery games of chance? It’s because we all want to hope for better, and Powerball plays off that in its advertising. The typical Powerball ad says, “With one dollar, you can buy a ticket — and a dream.” And that’s pretty much what you’re buying with regards to Powerball, as the overall odds aren’t that great (view current odds here).
Anyone with half a brain knows that playing the lottery is a fool’s game. You’re better off, really, to bury your dollar in the backyard than you are to play the lottery, yet many people — including myself — do play the lottery mostly because they want to dream about something better. And hey, there’s lots of ways to waste a dollar — so why not?
But when you’re talking about putting $2 down for each ticket rather than only $1, things change. Suddenly, you’re having to pay double the amount of money and that doesn’t seem reasonable — especially as the economy remains awful in many parts of the country, including my own Wisconsin.
Which is why this is such a stupid idea that I really don’t understand why anyone would want to roll this out just past the New Year, especially considering how many people are struggling just to pay for the basics, much less optional luxuries like a lottery ticket.
Here’s what’s likely to happen with regards to Powerball as of 1/15/2012; sales will plummet. Those who have a dollar and a dream will play MegaMillions instead (which draws on Tuesdays and Fridays in many states and has kept its price, sensibly, at $1 per line), or will play their own state’s lottery, or will maybe just save it and bury it in the backyard.
And the reason Powerball sales will plummet is this: the economy is bad. It is brutal. And in the Midwest, where money is at a premium, lottery sales have already gone down — so why do the Powerball execs want to make it even worse?
So if I can see this new “fee schedule” as a non-starter as a regular lottery player who’s spent more than her share of cash on the Powerball over the years, why can’t the Powerball execs?
Oh, yeah. They must not have been hit by the horrible economy, so they actually think there’s enough money out there to do something like this.
I have news for you, Powerball execs: think again. Or watch your business go south. Way south.
Barb Caffrey's Blog 