Keep Trying, No Matter What
Folks, the above title — “keep trying, no matter what” — is my personal philosophy.
But sometimes it’s much harder to do that than others. When that happens, I have to realize that I’m human, fallible, mortal, all that…and try again the next day, and the day after that. And the day after that, etc.
What’s caused me to write this blog at this time is very simple. I’ve struggled now for about a month with an illness that started as a cold and flared into something akin to bronchitis. My asthma is acting up, and my energy is much lower than it should be.
I try to be positive, as much as I can, but I’m not into this nonsensical “happy happy joy joy” stuff, either. I am a realist. Right now, being a realist, but also being optimistic, means I have to say, “OK, today I can’t do much. But tomorrow, if I am careful, I can do more…so I will be as careful as I can.”
Of course, this isn’t the only thing I’ve got to deal with. I have a number of physical limitations that I deal with daily that I work around, including bilateral carpal tunnel syndrome, arthritis bad enough in my back and knees that I walk with a cane, and more.
But I get up every day, and I deal with it the best I can. I try to think about what I can do. Not what I can’t. Because thinking about what I can’t do is self-limiting and self-defeating.
And thinking about what I can do is life-affirming. It reminds me that as bad as things can be, as lonely as I am and have been since my husband Michael died, there’s still something I can do that’s creative and fulfilling.
Besides, something in me says about writing, editing, and music, “Yes, you should do it.”
Why? Well, it seems to me that even if the world seems against me, even if no one else seems to care, I have to do what’s inside me or I’m not being my best self.
Why does that matter? Well, as a creative person, I try hard to be my best self. It’s where the words come from, I think…or maybe the music of the words, if my late husband was right. (Michael, as you might recall, believed that I thought music first, and then only translated those musical notes and chords into words. And who am I to say he was wrong, especially as I do compose some music as well?)
I want to be attuned to whatever it is that makes me a creative person. It may not be easy to be creative. (In fact, it’s often as difficult as all get-out.) But I know who I am, and I want to keep doing whatever I can to maximize my talents and abilities the best I can.
So, the journey has been tough. (That I’m still struggling, due to the recent illness, to concentrate well enough to wrap up the last little bits for CHANGING FACES so I can turn it in to my long-suffering publisher and get it placed firmly on the schedule drives me batty, too, I must admit.) It probably will not get much easier, either.
But I will do it. I will get up every day, and keep trying.
No matter what.
See that you do the same.
#MondayMotivation: Figure Out What You’re Best At…
Folks, it’s time for a Monday Motivation post. (And as I’m still — somewhat, anyway — on Twitter, I decided to use the hashtag in the title. For my sins, I guess.)
When you were young — or at least, younger, as most of us do not enjoy pointing out that we’re not as young as we used to be — your teachers, mentors, and even your parents used to say, “Figure out what you’re best at, and do it.”
But how do you do that, exactly? Especially if you’re a creative type, when creativity isn’t exactly understood?
Maybe this is where Malcolm Gladwell’s book OUTLIERS holds a few of the clues. (I reviewed this book a while back at Shiny Book Review — yes, I do plan on writing a review or two this year, thanks for asking — and I’ve never forgotten it.) Gladwell insists that to become an expert at your field, you need approximately 10,000 hours of hard work to get there. (And even more time than that to stay there, improve upon your expert abilities, and keep going at that high level after that, no doubt.)
The way I view this has to do with persistence, otherwise known as ramming your head into the wall over and over and over again until the wall falls down. It’s not an elegant solution, but it’s the only way I know to get things done.
So, when you get a story idea, or an idea for a poem, no matter how outrageous it seems, you should write it down as best you can. (If I’m pressed for time or tired or ill or all of the above, as I’ve been lately, I try to write it down in prose note format — that is, whatever I get, I write it down, sans dialogue, sans much in the way of description unless it’s absolutely essential, so the idea is not lost.) Even if you can’t do anything with it today, even if you can’t do anything with it next week either, it’ll still be there, waiting for you, when you can look at it again and develop it.
I know this method works, because I’ve had at least four stories that I’ve developed after writing them down in prose note form…and in two cases, I got halfway into the story, then had to put it aside for six months to a year before returning to it.
(What can I say? I’m like a dog with a bone. I have to finish what I start, no matter how long it takes. No excuses.)
So, to figure out what you’re great at, you need to keep working at your talents as much as you possibly can. Whatever they are, figure them out, keep going, refuse to give up on yourself, and give it your best shot. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you differently, either…because the only person who can tell you when it’s time to stop (if it ever is) is you.
Turning Bad Circumstances into Good Ones
It’s Friday the 13th, so I thought I’d talk about how to turn bad circumstances into good ones. (Or, at least, into better ones?)
“Why, Barb, did you pick Friday the 13th for this blog?” you ask, wearily.
Well, the answer is simple. On Friday the 13th, everyone worries more about accidents, superstitions, odd events…and what’s odder than turning a bad circumstance into a good one?
Yeah, I realize that’s not how most people think of it. Instead, we think about the negative stuff going on all around us. And it’s very easy to find…we all have stuff in our lives that could be, shall we say, improved.
And it’s hard to think about improving things, when everything seems against you.
I’ve had my back to the wall at least ten times in my life. It’s not pleasant. Every time, I’ve thought whatever was going on would break me. I’ve been through deaths of loved ones (including my beloved husband Michael), divorces before I even found Michael at all, at least five major moves, job losses, and economic hardship, and I haven’t enjoyed any of it.
(If I did, though, wouldn’t you wonder what I was about? I would, in your place. But I digress.)
What you have to do when you’re at a breaking point is to keep going. Remember that you didn’t ask for this to happen. You are just doing the best you can. Maybe you’ve made mistakes, but we all have…the trick is not to give up on yourself and not to give up on your talents, no matter what is stacked against you.
And as bad as dealing with horrific events (like deaths of loved ones in particular) can be, there actually is one positive side to it that I’ve found.
Ready?
I realized that going through all the negative experiences in my life has actually sensitized me to other people’s suffering. And along the way, I found that being able to help someone else, even if it’s only a little bit, did two great things: It helped the other person realize they were not alone, and it also made me feel better as a human being to reach out and help someone who truly needed it.
Maybe that’s why we have things like “Do unto others as they do unto you” (the Golden Rule). It’s not just that we want to be treated well; it’s that we need to treat others well for our own well-being, and to become our best selves.
Anyway, the point of this blog is, sometimes life just stinks. There are things you have to do sometimes that you never wanted to — that you never even conceived of, when you started out as a young adult — but you have no choice.
When you’re at one of those places, step back, and try to realize that you are not alone. You can come back from whatever it is that you’re facing with time, courage, fortitude, will, and effort. Best of all, you will be able to better understand yourself and others when you do…and I don’t know of any other way to turn a bad circumstance into a good one than that.
#Authors: Get Real on #SocialMedia and Readers Will Respond #ASMSG #IARTG
Mr. and Mrs. N.N. Light are a married writing team with a lot of heart and perspective. I like them greatly, and think their ten tips are fantastic. Give ’em a try!
It’s a Marathon, not a…
Folks, I know I haven’t blogged this week. (Until now, of course.) But there’s a reason for that.
I have been seriously under the weather since before Christmas. I finally marched into the local urgent care clinic a few days ago, and found I had a sinus infection, ear infection, and throat infection, plus I might also have strep throat. I was given antibiotics and sent home again, plus given the directive to pick up a bunch of over-the-counter meds (which, of course, I did).
I don’t like talking about being sick. It annoys me. I want to be up and doing stuff. Like making the final editorial changes to CHANGING FACES, which are due imminently…or at least able to take a walk around the park, or drive without my head hurting like a vise has been clamped over my forehead.
My hope was that the antibiotics would help me feel so much better, I’d have something good to blog about this weekend. Like, finishing the editorial changes. Or maybe my reaction to seeing the movie about British ski-jumper Eddie “the Eagle” Edwards. (Good movie, BTW, even though they took some poetic license in creating a composite character in Eddie’s so-called “coach.”) Or maybe more on the virtues of hope, without which we can do very little in this life…as I’ve said before, if you can’t hope for better, you can’t possibly visualize it, either. Which means it’s nearly impossible to create a better situation for yourself, much less create anything else, either.
But that did not happen.
Instead, I have gotten sicker. I’m not sure what’s wrong right now, except that I’m coughing a lot, I have a fever, and feel terrible. I can’t think well and I can’t take care of what needs to get done this way from an editorial or writing standpoint.
My voice is better, which is good. (It’s again recognizable.) But that’s about the only good thing going on right now.
Unless I feel a thousand times better than this in the morning, another visit to the urgent care clinic is in my future. And I do hope they’ll figure out what is wrong, so I can get it taken care of…feeling this sick for this long is decidedly not my idea of a good time, thanks.
But I’m doing my best at the moment to remember that as bad as I feel right now, I’ve worked very hard to get CHANGING FACES ready for publication. I am not about to give up now. I merely have to rest, so I can make my best effort, as I have all along…’cause it really is a marathon, not a sprint.
So my hope is that soon, I will be able to get back to my regular blogging stuff, and talk about far more interesting things than my health. (I have to deal with my health 24/7. I’d rather not have to talk about it at my blog, too.)
And for everyone else, my advice is that if you haven’t seen that movie about Eddie Edwards yet, and you need a quick reminder of what persistence and hard work can do against all odds, you should find a way to see it.
Don’t Be Afraid to Hope
Folks, we’re now one day into 2017. And after most of us got buffeted, again and again, by the Wrath of 2016 (TM), it seems nearly impossible to believe in something better during the upcoming year.
But don’t you dare believe that better things don’t exist.
Why?
Quite simply, dreams die when you stop hoping for better. And when dreams die, at least some of your zest for life dies with them.
Does that mean every single dream you’ve ever had will work out as planned? Of course not. Life doesn’t work that way at all. Most of us know that life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans, after all…still, you have to try to set goals, you have to try to make good things happen, and you have to be willing to hope for better than what you have today.
Otherwise, you can’t possibly try for better, because you don’t even realize that better exists.
So in this new year, full of possibilities good, bad, and indifferent, for just one day, try to throw the bad and indifferent possibilities out and concentrate on the good ones instead.
Don’t be afraid to hope.
But while you wait and hope, keep working on yourself, too, and try to take one step every day toward your goal.
That, ultimately, is what will get you there — the belief that you can, along with the willingness to do the work to turn that belief into reality.
Happy New Year (Early…)
Folks, it’s that time again…we’re almost up to the New Year.
I wanted to wish you all strength, happiness, peace, security, serenity, joy, love, and whatever else you have most desired over the past year.
2016 was a tough year for many, myself included. Personally, I’m glad it’s almost over (thus my push to say “Happy New Year” a bit early).
I hope all of you stay safe, but enjoy your New Year festivities, whatever they may be. (I plan to be watching a lot of football, myself — college and pro.)
Anyway, Happy New Year to all…and to all a good night. (Or something.)
The True Meaning of Christmas, and Brandon Burlsworth
Folks, last night I watched the movie GREATER, which is about Brandon Burlsworth, a young man who with faith, optimism, hope, and hard work transformed himself into not just a football player, but a starting guard with the Arkansas Razorbacks. Burlsworth even got drafted by an NFL team, the Indianapolis Colts, and everything looked bright…
Then, he was in a car accident, not too far from his home. He died at age twenty-two, just three weeks after being drafted by the Colts.
Despite Burlsworth’s life being incredibly short, he was a truly inspirational figure. He realized early what he wanted to do, didn’t have the natural talent or stature to do it (a late growth spurt helped with the last), but worked harder than anyone else. He listened to his coaches, who appreciated his hard work and dedication; he listened to himself when others told him he couldn’t do something, and he listened to the Higher Power, and trusted that what he believed in — what he wanted to do — was the right thing.
Did every day go well for him? Of course it didn’t. Did he have days where he wondered why he was doing what he was doing? Of course he did. Did he have ups, downs, and frustrations like the rest of us? Of course he did.
But every day, he got up, and he did what he could to work toward his goal.
And he achieved it. He went from walk-on to three-year starter at Arkansas, he became an All-American, and he was drafted by the Colts.
Of course it would’ve been better had he lived longer. Burlsworth was the type of person others respected, and because of his own unshakeable faith and hard work, who knows what he could’ve become over time?
But his was a truly remarkable and inspirational life. This was a bookish, overweight kid with very little (if any) athletic talent, but he had a dream and he worked hard every day to achieve that dream.
And he did.
What does this have to do with the true meaning of Christmas, you ask?
It’s simple.
The story of Jesus’s life is powerful, partly because of his humble beginnings. Everything seemed stacked against him from the start. His family was not wealthy or powerful. He grew up in a hostile environment (what else can you call the persecution of King Herod, anyway?), was different from everyone he knew in many ways, and had a quiet, unshakeable faith that he would find his path and make a difference.
And he did.
We still remember Jesus, two thousand plus years later. We remember the power to make a difference, to love one another, to be good to one another, to appreciate one another, to work hard and not let anyone stop you — not even yourself.
Every single day will not be easy for you. It wasn’t for Jesus. (It wasn’t for Brandon Burlsworth, either. Read more about his inspirational life here at the blog Sports on Earth.) But it’s worth it if you get up every day, work hard, have faith (yes, even when it’s difficult or nigh on to impossible), and believe that tomorrow will be better than today.
That, to my mind, is far more the spirit of Christmas than anything commercial. Because it boils down to just a few things:
Love one another.
Treat others with respect and kindness. (Yeah, the first kind of implies that, but why not spell it out? Can’t hurt.)
Work hard.
Have faith.
Keep trying.
Don’t give up.
And if you can believe in the Higher Power — whatever and however it manifests for you — good. Because that may allow you to tap into more optimism, and that’s all to the good.
Buy Some Easy, Last-Minute Xmas Gifts Today Via Joan Reeves’ #SlingWords Blog…
Hey, everyone.
Just ’cause I don’t have much in the way of holiday spirit this year, that doesn’t mean the rest of you don’t. (I hope someone does, somewhere…otherwise the world is a very cold and cruel place. But I digress.) And part of your holiday spirit, if you’re in much of the Western World, is to find the perfect gift for someone.
It may be December 23rd, but you still have time to buy an e-book. That is the point of author Joan Reeves’ blog post today entitled “Easy, Last-Minute Gifts.” My two books of the Elfy duology, AN ELFY ON THE LOOSE and A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE, are part of this promotion, as you see:
#31 An Elfy on the Loose by Barb Caffrey
When young Bruno the Elfy meets Sarah the human girl, they find romance and must save Bruno’s mentor from the clutches of a Dark Elf.
An Elfy on the Loose is 99cents.
Visit Barb Caffrey at Barb Caffrey’s Elfyverse.
#32 A Little Elfy in Big Trouble by Barb Caffrey
Bruno and Sarah fall further in love and gather allies to save Northern California from a Dark Elf.
A Little Elfy in Big Trouble is $2.99.
However, don’t despair if you already have them but are in need of a good, quick e-book purchase from a fun author who tells a good story. There are plenty of other great choices to choose from at Joan’s blog today, and I’m sure you can find one of ’em, or more, to whet your interest.
So, please, do take a look at Joan’s blog today. Then buy a book, or two, or three…and I would appreciate it greatly if you’d at least consider buying my two if you don’t already have them. (OK?)
Barb Caffrey's Blog 