A Sunday Thought…and a Thought
Folks, when I woke up earlier today, I thought hard about life. About what my place in the world is (nay, bigger than that — the entire universe!), and whether or not what I’m doing is my best course of action.
Then I snorted, sat up, and started laughing in near-hysteria.
I’m a writer. An editor. A musician. A scholar of arcane disciplines, and a student of history. Also a daughter, a friend, a colleague…
And, of course, the widow of Michael B. Caffrey.
This last is my most precious joy, not because of the widow part — far, far from it! — but because Michael was the most amazing person I have ever had the privilege to behold. He was funny, smart, self-educated, gifted at many things, and a person of remarkable wit and consequence. Michael mattered so very much; what had formed him, what had shaped him, into the man I feel in my heart was firmly destined to be my husband and other half of my soul interested me greatly.
Because we didn’t have that much time together, there are some things I will never know from his perspective. (I have picked up on some additional things since his untimely passing from his sister, his nieces, a few of his friends, and his ex-wife, who was possibly his very best friend in all the world besides myself.) But one thing I do know…Michael was special, and important, and being with him was worth every last bit of pain I’ve suffered since his untimely passing.
Much less the pain I endured before I ever met him, as I’d been previously — and quite unhappily — married before I had the privilege to meet him.
I mention all of that because it’s important to me. Important enough that I’m willing to put it out there, for all to see, in a format that will last as long as the Internet does…and perhaps longer.
But perhaps that seems obvious to you. If you’ve been here before, you know this about me by now; I have suffered, but I have learned, and I have been deeply loved. These things cannot help but mark a person. And in this case, I hope they have made me a better person.
That said, I can’t help but reflect on how life, all in all, marks us. We are all the sum total of our experiences. If we are wise, and learn from our mistakes — and celebrate our joys, no matter how brief and evanescent they may be — we may become our best selves, and worthy of the highest love our species can bestow.
This Sunday, I want you to consider your own highest gifts and blessings. From where did they spring? What are you doing with them, now, and what will you do with them in the future?
Now, as for the additional thought…this was my original post on the subject at Facebook, a few short minutes ago (if you want to read my public posts at Facebook, go here):
One of my best friends just pointed out that everything in life, good and bad, is a learning experience. As a writer, I tend to observe much, even when I don’t seem to be taking it in…the hope is that it gives my stories more weight, as I can’t help but do it anyway.
That said, as I’m in the month of June — my wedding anniversary rapidly approaches, the 14th (and 12th without my beloved husband by my side), I marvel at the changes life has brought. Some have been horrible. Some have been remarkably good.
But to get to Michael, to be with him, to hear him laugh and to create works with him was my most precious joy. I’d not change any of that for the world.
Thus are today’s Sunday thoughts.
Any questions?
Why Can’t Female Reporters Make — and Correct — Bad Mistakes?
Folks, I’m frustrated right now. I just read the story of former major league baseball sideline reporter Emily Austen (see link here from the story at AOL: http://www.aol.com/article/2016/06/10/mlb-sideline-reporter-fired-after-making-several-inappropriate-c/21393140/), who said a number of derogatory things during a social media video. This video was made on the Barstool Sports Live Facebook broadcast, and while I don’t like any of the things Ms. Austen said, none of them were so abhorrent to my mind as warranting her immediate dismissal from her sideline duties without at least giving her a chance to rectify her error.
Here’s a bit from the Business Insider story (carried at AOL at the address above):
During the broadcast, Austen made several racist and anti-Semitic comments. At one point, she said she “didn’t even know Mexicans were that smart,” then later said that everyone knows the “Chinese guy is always the smartest guy in math class.” While recalling stories from when she worked as a bartender, she called Jewish people “stingy.” She also referred to Kevin Love as a “little b—-.”
Edited to add:
I haven’t a clue why any sportscaster, male or female, worth her salt wouldn’t realize that when the camera is on, she has to watch what she says. With a beer, without a beer, she should be professional.
Much of what she said is insensitive at best, outright racist at worst. (Saying that she “didn’t even know that Mexicans were that smart” is ludicrous. Doesn’t she know any history at all?)
I don’t approve of this behavior. At all. But I also don’t understand why a male sportscaster like Curt Schilling, formerly of ESPN, was given chance after chance to rectify his own public off-the-job comments before he finally was booted out.
Now back to our regularly scheduled post, already in progress…
I am not a fan of this sort of behavior, folks. But I also don’t think it’s something that warrants an immediate dismissal.
Consider, please, that Ms. Austen was probably having a beer. She was off-duty, discussing her job as a sideline reporter for both the Tampa Bay Rays (MLB) and for the Orlando Magic (NBA), and was probably trying to make “good copy” for the folks on Barstool Sports. Male sports personalities push the envelope all the time, and only get suspensions, at best…yet Ms. Austen got the axe right away, without any possibility of coming back to say, “I know I went too far. I’m sorry.”
Note that to my mind, especially out of context, I don’t have a problem with her saying these obnoxious things as much as I have a problem with her being immediately booted from her job without any possibility of correcting the obnoxious things she said.
I’d only fire Ms. Austen if she refused to try to correct any of this. (What she said about the Asian guy in math class, while not necessarily a bad thing, is still a stereotype. My Japanese-American friend would be happy to tell you all about how much effort she put into her studies; she loved school, and still enjoys learning things, but effortless, it was not. And math was not her best subject, either.**)
This, to my mind, smells more like political correctness than a sensible personnel decision. If Ms. Austen was good at her work — and I’m going to assume she was, or Barstool Sports wouldn’t have wanted to have her as part of their Facebook Live broadcast after hours — she should’ve been talked with, and she should’ve been allowed to make amends. Giving her a chance to grow, to change, to learn that people are individuals and not stereotypes…that is a far better way to handle the situation than just firing her.
This way, what does Ms. Austen learn? That male sports personalities can be outrageous, but female sports personalities had best watch their backs?
In short, while what Ms. Austen said was not flattering, it did not warrant immediate dismissal.
Fox Sports Florida (and Fox Sports Sun, who together were her employers) should be ashamed of themselves. They at minimum should be called before the EEOC, and be prepared to defend their actions.
And in the meantime, Ms. Austen should do some volunteer work with the poor, the disabled, and those who are otherwise disenfranchised in this society. She’d learn a lot, I think…and never again would she be tempted to make such ridiculously stupid and bigoted statements as she did on Barstool Sports’ live broadcast on Facebook.
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**Yes, I know that Chinese people and Japanese people and Korean people and Laotian people and Vietnamese people are all different people, different cultures, different ethnicities, and all have to be taken for themselves. But the stereotype I’m referring to — that Asians are better at math than anyone else — is still real, and it’s done a lot of harm. (End rant.)
Writing: When Done Well, it Only Seems Effortless…
Folks, haven’t you ever wondered just how much work goes into your favorite books?
I’ve been pondering this lately, and here’s my best answer: a whole lot of effort goes into what later seems to be effortless prose…in other words, a writer works hard for what seems effortless, in the end.
We writers often castigate ourselves because our writing isn’t coming easily enough, or quickly enough, or (fill-in-the-blank) enough. Yet, later on, when you re-read your efforts, you barely remember, “Oh, didn’t I have the flu then?” or “My goodness, how did I write that while under so much stress?”
Of course, some writers use their writing as a way to GAFIAte — that is, get away from it all. To those writers, anything they do with their stories is like a mini-vacation; it’s still work, mind you, but it’s work done with a will and a smile on their faces.
For the rest of us (including yours truly), that type of writing — the GAFIAting I just discussed — is elusive, at best. Most of the time, writing takes planning; hard work; effort. It still gives you, the writer, a feeling of satisfaction in the end…but it doesn’t feel like a mini-vacation at all.
Nope.
Instead, it feels like the hard work that it is. Worthwhile work, granted. Work we’ve chosen to do in this life…work that we see, so we must do it, and tell the stories we have inside to their best advantage, in the hope that someone else will find some worth in it, or maybe get a chuckle out of it and get through their day a little better, or perhaps even come back to your words time after time and find renewed meaning and purpose if we’ve done our jobs particularly well.
Those who aren’t writers may not understand how much work and effort there is in what you do. (I can’t speak for them, so I don’t know.) But one thing is clear: those of us who are writers know full well how much goes into our stories. How much of ourselves, and our drive, and our will, and our care, and everything that we are — our souls, maybe, for all I know — are reflected in our books, if we’ve done them just right.
So. For today, writers, try to do this one thing — just write. Don’t expect it to be effortless, ’cause that is beyond absurd. But do expect it to be from your heart, from your spirit, from your soul, even if you’re fighting with verb tenses and spelling and your story doesn’t seem to make much sense.
Because down the line, what you’re doing will be worth it. Trust me.
Springtime in the Elfyverse
Today’s guest blog is up at the Opinionated Man’s busy establishment…take a look!
Thoughts on Comfort Books
Folks, over the past several weeks, I have been struggling with a wide variety of things.
To wit…does my writing matter? Does what I’m doing as a person matter? Are my perceptions accurate, and will I be able to turn them into some decent-to-better quality writing in the not-so-distant future?
I don’t know if these questions would’ve hit me quite so profoundly without the ongoing housing crisis, mind. (That remains unresolved, by the way. I probably will be writing about that again…but not today, yes?) But they have…and in a big way.
That said, I have found a lot of comfort reading and re-reading my favorite books and authors. Some of the books I’ve read over the past couple of weeks include Katharine Eliska Kimbriel’s Night Calls series, Lois McMaster Bujold’s THE CURSE OF CHALION and PALADIN OF SOULS, Patricia C. Wrede’s CAUGHT IN CRYSTAL and Enchanted Forest chronicles…and, of course, my go-to standby, Sharon Lee and Steve Miller’s wonderful Liaden Universe (TM), most particularly the stories featuring Daav yos’Phelium and Aelliana Caylon.
What reading these stories tends to do for me is twofold. One, it takes me away from my immediate problems and reminds me that others, too, have faced adversity (even if fantastical and unusual — then again, I like that sort of thing, as you might’ve guessed). And two, these stories are life-affirming, they often make me laugh, and they always make me feel better after I’ve read them.
In short, these comfort books remind me of why I started writing, oh, yea many moons ago…I wanted to tell stories like that, that made people laugh, and maybe gave them an hour’s ease from life’s burdens…and if I did my job superbly well, maybe someone would find my stories life-affirming, too.
I can’t be certain I’ve done that as of yet. But I’d like to think that in the not-so-distant future, I may well yet attain just that…ah, well.
Anyway, what are your favorite comfort books, and why? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments section.
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Edited to add: Mind, there are so many great storytellers out there, and I’m only naming a fraction of the people I’ve read over the past few weeks that I’ve enjoyed…so if your name isn’t on this list (yet), please don’t despair. (No need for that.)
Introducing…”Kaitlin’s Tale” by Christine Amsden
KAITLIN’S TALE is the latest urban fantasy novel by award-winning author Christine Amsden. It features Kaitlin, a strong-willed heroine with a self-deprecating sense of humor…just my type of woman! She’s a young mother who’s made some bad choices, and now is on the run from some vampires — including her baby’s father, Jason. She meets up with a powerful, telepathic magician, Matthew Blair…and sparks fly in every possible sense.
Can these two basically good, but deeply flawed people find a way to make common cause against the vampires? And will they ever realize that they were made for each other?
KAITLIN’S TALE has my highest possible recommendation, folks…I edited it, and I know it’s an excellent novel that made me tear up in spots. Kaitlin is definitely one heroine who deserves her happy ending, most especially because she doesn’t seem to realize exactly that. And her son, Jay, is one cute little guy, too…all the way around, I loved KAITLIN’S TALE, and I hope you will give it — and Christine Amsden’s work as a whole — a try. (Read the first three chapters for free, here.)
Now, on to what Christine wanted to say about why she wrote Kaitlin’s story!
Christine Amsden says:
Who is Kaitlin?
I love Kaitlin. As I wrote the book, I sometimes thought to myself that I loved her more from the outside! She’s nothing like me. My inspiration for Kaitlin came from an experience I had as a sophomore in high school, shortly after one of those school-wide assemblies about sex and sexual abuse. They told me that one in three people had been sexually abused. I couldn’t believe it! One in three? I looked at the two friends I’d come with, wondering which one of them it had been since it wasn’t me (thankfully). To my surprise, I got the answer as we were leaving. She told me and she made me swear I wouldn’t tell a soul.
I didn’t, and it is the single biggest regret of my life. At the time I mistakenly believed that a real friend would keep a confidence. My only excuse is that I was fifteen and had precious few friends. Now I know that a true friend would have risked the friendship to do the right thing and get her friend help.
Over twenty years later, I give you Kaitlin, and I get her help. Not the sort you’re likely to get in real life (telepaths being vanishingly rare), but I wrote it for my friend, who I haven’t seen since high school, and for anyone else out there who knows what it’s like. Though I cannot truly know your pain, I have imagined it in this book.
If you do know the pain, and if you’ve never faced it, I urge you to seek help because there are no telepaths in real life. But there are people who understand.
Catching Up
Folks, I know I’ve not blogged very much in the past week or two. I’ve been working on a big project, and now that it’s out I can talk about it.
That project is Chris Nuttall’s newest novel in his Schooled in Magic series, INFINITE REGRESS. In it, his heroine, Emily, must deal with a new headmaster, romantic complications with her long-term boyfriend Caleb, her own, burgeoning magic, and some hints of a long dormant, malevolent power underneath her school, Whitehall.
Now, if you’re unaware of this series, you’re in for a treat. Emily, you see, is an American girl who was brought to a magical realm by a necromancer. She won free of the necromancer, made an alliance with an enigmatic sorcerer, Void, and ever since has run into a variety of circumstances that have tested her, her power, and her other abilities at every turn. Because of her practical knowledge, garnered from our Earth, she’s become a wealthy woman; she’s even been named a Baroness by another kingdom, Zangaria, though for the moment she’s set that duty down. (She never plans to go back there, in fact, but that’s for another book.) Emily is smart, resourceful, and would seem to have all the advantages…if you didn’t know she’s also autistic, and must deal with things in a slightly different way than others.
I edited INFINITE REGRESS, and am happy to recommend it to all lovers of fantasy.
Aside from that, I’ve done a little bit of writing and a whole lot of thinking about CHANGING FACES, which is still — still! — in progress. (Here I finally have people talking about my books, and waiting for one, and I am still fighting it out with same. Par for the course, I suppose.)
As far as everything else — the living situation is exactly the same as last reported. (No improvement, but no worse, either.) I don’t know what will happen there, and that unsettled feeling doesn’t help much when it comes to writing. (I can put it aside more easily as an editor, for whatever reason.) Much of this story isn’t mine to tell, so all I can say is this…I’m still trying, I still hope for better, and I haven’t given up.
But yes, it’s frustrating, not knowing where I’m going to be from day to day.
Anyway, that’s about all I can say right now. Do look for a new blog over the weekend, where I’ll be talking about Christine Amsden’s newest, KAITLIN’S TALE (yes, I edited that, too — why did you ask?), and will have a bit from the author herself about why she wrote it.
Announcing…”Realms of Darkover” Is Out!
Folks, I’ve been so preoccupied with edits, my novel CHANGING FACES, and other things that I completely forgot to announce this very important event:
REALMS OF DARKOVER is out! And my third story in the Darkover universe, “Fiona, Court Clerk in Training,” is included.
What’s my story about? Well, all three of my stories have been about Fiona n’ha Gorsali or members of her immediate family; this one features Fiona as a child, when all she wants is to become a judge like her father. But Darkover has never before had a female judge…and even though her mother is a Renunciate and her father has no objection to Fiona becoming one as well (indeed, Fiona must become a Renunciate, or she can’t become a judge at all; Darkover has very straitened paths for women unless they choose the Renunciate path), it’s still not going to be easy for Fiona to obtain her heart’s desire. And as we see, the first step on Fiona’s path toward becoming a judge is to become an official court clerk, despite her tender age.
I had a ball writing about Fiona as a feisty thirteen-year-old, and I hope you’ll enjoy my story immensely, along with all the other great stories in REALMS OF DARKOVER.
Blog Exchange, Day 2: Janet L. Walters Talks Writing, Books, and More!
Folks, it’s Day 2 of my blog exchange with author Janet L. Walters. (My guest blog at Janet’s site is available here: https://wwweclecticwriter.blogspot.com/2016/05/saturdays-blurbs-featuring-books-by.html) I hope you’ll enjoy her thoughts on writing her latest book series…here we go!
When I began the series At First Sight, it meant rewriting a number of older stories and fixing the problems and updating the information. These are spicy romances, all contemporaries, and the first four concern the love lives of two sisters and two brothers. Somehow, a pair of their friends and colleagues slipped into the mix and there could be more people coming aboard when I have time to dream up more situations.
The first book involves Allie who edits a magazine for a family-held magazine, Good Cookin’. Her story involves a Chef, Greg who owns and heads a restaurant called Five Cuisines. Allie sets out the gain the interview and her father forbids this. He owns the magazines. Allie isn’t one to sit back. Greg is told by his mother not to let any Blakefield near the restaurant. This is how the fun begins.
In the second book, Meg Blakefield is dragooned to pick up the magazine group’s photographer at the airport. She has had a crush on him since the day he began work but she has also managed to anger him. Steve likes to tease Meg. He loves to see her blush. On his last photo shoot he had an accident resulting in a broken leg and a lot of bruises and scrapes. He would like to have Meg in his bed. When she learns there is no one to stay with him, she volunteers and adds rules to her already Rules of Life. The meeting sets off some fireworks. Her magazine is Good Lookin’ and she has a real love of silk and underwear.
The third book finds Mark Blakefield viewing a picture one of the writers from Good Travelin‘ has taken on a trip to Vermont. He sees a picture of a boy who could have been him at the same age. He also recognizes the child’s mother as the one who got away. They had a hot and heavy college romance but she vanished before the semester ended. He has looked for Christa Parsons. When he lands at the inn, he learns her name is and always has been Christa Sommers. He wants her and he wants his son. Can their love be rekindled?
The fourth book finds Matt Blakefield running from Mark’s wedding with the words “You’re next.” He thinks no way and takes off on his motorcycle. A rainstorm has him barely able to see and finding no place to stay. He runs into a pine tree outside a cabin. He discovers Cassie is the girl he insulted and made fun of in high school. Someone he has never forgotten. Cassie is hiding at the cabin trying to come to grips with her fiancé’s desertion and marriage to another woman weeks before their wedding. The notification came via an email. She recognizes Matt and decides a night with him is something she just might enjoy. He leaves the next day without an exchange of numbers. Then he discovers she has something he wants and he needs to find her.
The fifth book belongs to their friend and attorney Tony Carlin. The death of his brother and being named as one of the guardians for his infant nephew brings him in touch with Lauren. Lauren is the child’s aunt and has also been named as guardian. They met four years before at the wedding of his brother and her sister. Lauren was at the end of her runaway period. His first impression of her wasn’t great but still he thought about sex. He is still thinking about this and he also feels she’s not a good guardian for the little boy. He makes assumptions and you all know what that means.
The sixth book finds Jules Grayson trying to convince Grace to sign a contract to have her cupcake bakery featured in Good Cookin’. She’s reluctant and he takes a trip he’d rather not take. After his father’s conviction for a Ponzi scheme and his mother’s suicide, he ended in a group home. The home was next door to where Grace landed after her mother overdosed. Grace is the only girl who ever turned Jules down when he tried for a hookup. Seeing her again brings up the desire to accomplish what he never had. Grace is choosy about the men in her life. She has no desire to be like her mother. Jules falls in love with her cupcakes and desires her in his bed.
Website: http://janetlanewalters.com/home
Blog: http://wwweclecticwriter.blogspot.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/JanetL717
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/janet.l.walters.3
So…there you have it! Janet has an interesting series, and I do hope you will check it out forthwith.
Special Guest Blog 2-Day Event, Part 1: An Interview of Author Janet L. Walters
Folks, author Janet L. Walters and I are exchanging guest blogs today and tomorrow…I hope you’ll enjoy her insights! (My Day 1 guest blog for Janet can be found here: http://wwweclecticwriter.blogspot.com/2016/05/friday-who-she-was-before-featurning.html)
Do you write a single genre or do your fingers flow over the keys creating tales in many forms? Does your reading choices reflect your writing choices? Are there genres you wouldn’t attempt?
I bill myself as the eclectic writer but lately I’ve realized most of my stories are romances but they fit into subgenres of romance. Except for some of the YA stories but even there, there are boy/girl relationships that can be developing. Even my mysteries hold a bit of romance for the heroine that takes five books to lead to her marriage. Some of my romances are contemporary, some paranormal, fantasy, historical and suspense. They range in heat level from sweet to spicy.
My reading choices are just as different. I read most everything but not all books are enjoyed as much as others. With the number of books floating through the internet and my Kindle handy, I read a lot. I do not read horror.
As to what I wouldn’t attempt to write. Anything with hard science. I know nothing about technology and while I admire people who do I’m not going to try. I don’t see a horror book in my future. Though sometimes I can write dark horror is beyond dark to me.
Heroes, Heroines, Villains. Which are your favorite to write? Does one of these come easy and why?
There are days and days. Sometimes I have difficulty reining each of the three into form. I’m usually more able to identify with the heroine and her emotions. The heros often give me trouble, especially when they speak. They don’t always come across as male but a sort of neuter kind of person. Now villains usually come easy because that allows me to let some of my evil nature escape.
Heroes. How do you find them? Do pictures, real life or plain imagination create the man you want every reader to love? Do they come before the plot or after you have the idea for the story?
I turn to Astrology to develop my hero. After the idea for a plot comes into my head, I begin to look at what kind of hero I need. Turning to my many Astrology books, I find a sun sign which will show my character’s inner nature. This may be different from the face he shows the world. For that I look for an Ascendant that fits what the character is becoming in my head. For the emotional quality, I look at his Moon Sign. This usually gives me how his emotions differ from the two other elements. This makes for a complex character. And often tells me what his interior conflict will be. The outer conflict can also be found in the three elements of his character. Once this is in place, I develop the other characters, though one or both of them may have entered my imaginary world before.
Heroines. How do you find them? Do pictures, real life or imagination create the woman you want the reader to root for? Do they appear before the plot or after you have the idea for the story?
For my heroines I also use the same process as I do the hero. There are times when the heroine appears before the plot and I must find a hero and a story for her. Using the what if can bring a heroine to life. Many of my heroines are nurses or have other skills that are somehow medical. Here I can pull things from women I knew when I worked as a nurse. Something will remind me of a trait or a worry one of these former colleagues displayed. Also in my heroines, there is a little of myself. Not myself as I am but myself as I wish I was.
Villains or villainesses or an antagonist, since they don’t always have to be the bad guy or girl. They can be a person opposed to the hero’s or heroine’s obtaining their goal. How do you choose one? How do you make them human?
Villains for me are the easiest to write and they aren’t necessarily the bad guy. In my latest release in both paper and electronically, the female lead begins as a villain. To make her human meant she needed lessons to be learned. She did love her land and her parents but she performs an act that makes her seem not to be a good person. Through the first four stories in this collection, she remains unknowing of what she must do. She needs to learn how to love. Each story gives her a small hint about love and the final two stories show what lessons she has learned.
The trick with making villains is giving them traits that make them human. This is easy with the opposing character who isn’t a true villain but one who has his own ideas about the lives of the hero and or heroine. This person can have good reasons for their feelings and can be made while not likeable at least interesting. The character who is truly evil is harder to find a reason to make them seem less that evil. The trick here might be to develop their degree of evilness in increments through the story. At least that’s the way it works for me.
What is your latest release? Who is the hero, heroine and or the villain?
By the time this interview goes live at least four of my latest series will be released. This one is Seducing the Doctor. The hero is Matt Blakefield, a man who doesn’t want to fall the victim of the Blakefield curse. He doesn’t believe he has ever fallen in love but there is a girl he can’t forget from his high school days. He believes he remembers her because he hurt her by saying words he really didn’t believe because of a prank by the school’s cheerleaders.
What are you working on now?
Currently I am re-writing the final two books in the At First Sight series. Seducing the Attorney and Seducing the Baker. The first book involves a couple who met four years ago at the wedding of his brother to her sister. Now they have become the guardians for their nephew. The second book involves a reluctant hero who vets new employees for a publishing company and who locates lost people and the only girl who ever turned him down when he was a bad boy teenager. She now owns a cupcake bakery one of the magazines he works for wants to do a feature article about. She is reluctant.
How can people find you?
Website: http://janetlanewalters.com/home
Blog: http://wwweclecticwriter.blogspot.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/JanetL717
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/janet.l.walters.3
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Come back tomorrow for another post from Janet…you don’t want to miss out!
Barb Caffrey's Blog 