New Guest Blog about Parallel Universes and the Elfyverse is Up
Folks, I have a new guest blog up at Stephanie Osborn’s blog, Comet Tales. It’s about parallel universes, and why I used this particular theory in AN ELFY ON THE LOOSE.
“But Barb,” I can hear you saying. “Why did you write this particular guest blog? Haven’t parallel universes been done to death in SF&F literature? What could you possibly say that’s new about that hoary old subject?”
Well, parallel universes have been used many times in science fiction. But they’ve only rarely been used in straight fantasy. And definitely not like this.
Here’s a bit from my guest blog that explains why I used parallel universes in this particular way:
I figured it’s much easier to have one world that’s split via the parallel universe theory than it is to send someone somewhere else where nothing is familiar whatsoever. I liked the idea that the supposedly familiar could also be intensely strange – as the Elfys, at first, know very little about us, the Humans, and we definitely know even less about them. And I really liked the idea that a magical being like a Dark Elf – that is, a being committed to violence and darkness and death for its own sake – would “pass” as Human because we’ve forgotten that Dark Elfs exist.
Please do take a gander at my guest blog over at Stephanie’s site, as I think you might find it interesting. Because really, very few fantasy novelists have used the parallel universe theory straight-up . . . and perhaps me using it gives you an idea just how unique AN ELFY ON THE LOOSE is compared to other fantasy novels.
(Plus, it’s funny. Have I mentioned that yet?)
Anyway, this guest blog explains why I decided to use the parallel universe theory — something you rarely see in fantasy — to good effect in AN ELFY ON THE LOOSE. I truly hope you will enjoy it.
Two New Book Reviews up at SBR
Folks, it’s been a busy weekend for me over at Shiny Book Review (SBR, as always).
On Friday night, I reviewed the tenth and final volume of Stephen R. Donaldson’s long-running series starring Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever, THE LAST DARK.
And a few, short hours ago, I reviewed Veronica Roth’s ALLEGIANT, which is of course the final volume of her Divergent trilogy.
I hope you’ll enjoy the reviews, and let me know what you think, as per usual.
This week, I’ll be reviewing Cedar Sanderson’s TRICKSTER NOIR and Aaron Paul Lazar’s mysteries SPIRIT ME AWAY and LADY BLUES, the latter as a 2-for-1 special.
As for an ETA for these reviews, my normal reviewing days over at SBR are Thursday, Friday, and Saturday (though sometimes, as today, I bleed over into Sunday. Bad me.) So do stay tuned…
“Drop Dead Diva,” Season Six — What is Grayson’s Afterlife?
Folks, a few years ago I wrote a blog about the TV show DROP DEAD DIVA. It was the end of season three, and I found the ending flatly unbelievable…and said so.
Ever since, I’ve had multiple hits on that post daily. It may be the most popular single blog post I’ve ever had. And I’ve had many people ask me over the years, “Barb, when will you talk about DROP DEAD DIVA again, hm?”
Well, today’s the day. But first, a brief explanation as to why I didn’t say anything for a while.
You see, I didn’t watch season four because I was taking a full year away from TV, in the hopes it would rejuvenate my creative impulses. (It did.) But I have watched seasons five and six.
Until now, while there have been some good episodes and some “what the Hell?” episodes, I hadn’t felt moved to blog.
What changed?
Well, a few weeks ago on DROP DEAD DIVA, Jane Bingum’s long-term love-interest, Grayson Kent, died. It was not an expected death by any means, though he had been shot…anyway, Grayson died, and last week’s episode showed him in Heaven, talking to Fred the Guardian Angel from seasons 1-3 (and a few guest appearances since), who of course Grayson doesn’t really remember.
(It’s a tenet of the show that when a Guardian Angel is replaced on Earth, no one remembers him or her except for the person the Guardian Angel was looking after in the first place. In this case, that would be Jane.)
The very end of the episode showed Grayson waking up on Earth in someone else’s body, just as Jane did at the beginning of season one, episode one. But unlike Jane (formerly Deb Dobkins, a vapid blonde model; waking up in the body of a plus-sized lawyer was mostly a big step up for her), Grayson woke up in the body of a convict.
When Jane still thought of herself as Deb Dobkins, she was prevented from telling Grayson who she was by Fred. But Grayson doesn’t seem to have a Guardian Angel at all from the previews…he just woke up, and called Jane, and told her he’s back and in the body of this convict in cell block D — presumably in Los Angeles, California as that’s the official setting for DROP DEAD DIVA, last I checked.
I know from watching season five that every dead person who returns to Earth, whether in an expected fashion or not, has a Guardian Angel. (Britney, who before her death was the real Jane Bingum, came back and definitely had a Guardian Angel.) Yet Grayson does not seem to have one, and doesn’t realize the lack of one, either, even though Fred admitted he was Jane’s Guardian Angel years ago.
(Granted, I’m not sure how time passes in Heaven. But I digress.)
Fred told Grayson that Jane went back by “hitting the return button” on Fred’s computer. And that now, Heaven has removed all the return buttons, so no one can do it any longer. And Fred said at first that Grayson had to pick an afterlife.
But later, Fred said that he’d found a keyboard with a return button, and that Grayson should press it. Fred seemed both resigned and rueful over this, mind you. But unlike with our Jane (née Deb) or Britney (née Jane), who pressed those keys on their own without knowing what they’d do, Fred actually encouraged Grayson to press that return button, but of course warned Grayson that Grayson could wind up anywhere.
The oddest part was when Fred told Grayson that Fred will gladly suffer the consequences — because Fred suffered none when the real Jane went back to Earth a year ago and became Britney.
Anyway, Grayson presses the return button. And winds up inside that convict.
All of this is what I’ve seen on the last few episodes of DDD during season six. The remainder is pure speculation.
But hear me out anyway.
Sunday evening, Lifetime will be airing the latest DDD episode, “Afterlife.” That title seems quite wrong if Grayson really is alive again, albeit in the body of a convict.
So that got me to thinking . . . what if what we’re seeing happens to be Grayson’s afterlife?
Because really, Grayson wants to be with Jane. He is deeply in love with her, and was going to propose. (He was also in love with Deb, mind you, and it was real, too. But he loves Jane/Deb for other reasons; she’s much more of a mental equal.) His afterlife, if he had a choice, was to be with Jane forever — he told Fred that.
So what better way could there be for Grayson in the afterlife to be with Jane in this way?
I’m sure that the convict version of Grayson is in jail unnecessarily. Jane, as an exceptionally good lawyer, will find a way to get him out. And then, he and Jane will live happily ever after…seemingly in the real world.
But as DDD still has two or three episodes remaining, that does not feel right to me. It would wrap up the Jane/Grayson storyline too soon.
And considering that Fred the Angel had a relationship way back when with Stacey (Jane’s best friend), and Grayson told Fred that Stacey was getting married, could it be possible that Fred will show back up on Earth in order to court Stacey?
This would be an incredibly popular move, if so. Because Fred was well-loved among DDD fans, and was a major reason that DDD worked so well. (Brooke Elliot as Jane/Deb is wonderful. But without Fred, viewers might not have believed as much in Jane’s transformation.)
Anyway, I will be most interested to see what DDD actually does during the “Afterlife” episode. How about you?
Kendall and Kylie Jenner “Write” a Book — My Rant
Folks, I just finished reading two sample chapters from REBELS: CITY OF INDRA: The Story of Lex and Livia, a book purportedly written by Kendall and Kylie Jenner. (Yes, they’re the sisters of Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney Kardashian.)
Here’s my capsule review: It’s dreadful. (Take a look at these one-star reviews if you don’t believe me.)
Why?
There’s no plot. There’s nothing in the way of characterization. And the Jenner sisters didn’t even write it.
The only good thing about REBELS: CITY OF INDRA: The Story of Lex and Livia (and yes, it has all of those colons) is this: Two ghostwriters actually got paid to write this garbage.
As a writer of YA fiction (you may have heard of my novel, AN ELFY ON THE LOOSE, if you’ve ever been to my blog before), I am appalled that this pitiful excuse for a book is currently sitting at #353 paid in the Amazon store.
And the only reason it appears to be there is this: The Jenner sisters are the young half-sisters of Kim Kardashian, reality starlet. So when they said, “Hey, we want to write a book,” they immediately got a book contract.
Then, apparently, after they realized how hard writing is, they quite sensibly hired ghost writers — which actually makes good business sense, but doesn’t show much on the creative side of the ledger for either of the Jenner sisters.
And now, they’re making money hand over fist despite the many negative reviews, merely because of name recognition.
It’s enough to make me, a barely known author, cry.
What can you do to combat this sort of nonsense? It’s blindingly simple: read something else.
“But Barb!” you yell. “I don’t know what to read! Help me!” (With or without exclamation points, granted.)
Look. I know many writers, and have reviewed many, many, many better books than this one. Here are just a few in the YA category that I recommend, and why:
Stephanie Osborn’s StarSong is a fable about a young, spoiled girl who realizes she needs to grow up and start doing things for herself before she finds the man of her dreams. This is an excellent novella about a spiritual awakening and a nifty coming-of-age tale, all in one. It was written for pre-teens, but anyone eight or above should enjoy this fun little story of loss, romance and redemption.
Chris Nuttall’s latest, LESSONS IN ETIQUETTE, is the second story about Emily, a teenage girl from our world who’s been transported to a quasi-medieval world where she can do magic and is important…but is important as much for the technical innovations she introduces into this new world (the printing press, Arabic numbers, double-entry bookkeeping, etc.) as she is for her own prodigious magical gifts. It’s a well-paced, well-written book that will keep you turning the pages, and is possibly Chris’s best book to date.
Katharine Eliska Kimbriel’s NIGHT CALLS is the story of Alfreda Sorensson, who is a frontier girl with magic. Again, she does for herself, thank you, and spends her time productively by learning about herself and the world around her. This is one of the best books for teenage girls I’ve ever read.
Jason Cordova’s CORRUPTOR is about Tori, a teenager trapped in a virtual reality game environment. Tori’s ex-boyfriend causes trouble, while Tori’s widowed father tries to get her out of the simulation. It’s a fun, fast read with a lot of real-world implications.
Sarah A. Hoyt’s DARKSHIP THIEVES is about Athena, a girl on the cusp of adulthood who must find herself, fast. Her father is against her, so she flees as far away as she can and finds a whole different place than she’d ever imagined…she falls in love and marries, yes, but she does so on her terms and by showing how competent and intelligent she is at every turn.
Mercedes Lackey and Rosemary Edghill’s neo-Arthurian Shadow Grail series (LEGACIES, CONSPIRACIES, SACRIFICES and VICTORIES) features Spirit White, who loses her parents in an accident and only then finds out she has magic. But what type, and why? (And was it really an accident?) So she first has to find herself, learn her talents, and then save the world…
Folks, those are just a few of the many excellent books out there in the YA and/or pre-teen category. These are all writers who work hard at their craft, write excellent stories that make sense, with characters you will appreciate, and came up with plausible worlds in the bargain. I highly recommend all of these stories, and hope you will support these writers — real writers working really hard to give you really fine stories with real craftsmanship.
(Really.)
So, in short: Please do not support this newest effort by the Jenner sisters. They don’t need the money. They didn’t do the work. And they don’t deserve your patronage thereby.
But many other real writers do.
——–
Edited to add: I’ve started a Twitter campaign called #SupportARealWriter to get the word out about real writers who use real craftsmanship to create good, solid, honest books — really. If you see #SupportARealWriter at the end of something, please support that writer and let people know their books are out, available, and are much, much better than the above book with the Jenner sisters’ name on it.
Just Reviewed Stephanie Osborn’s “A Case of Spontaneous Combustion” at SBR
Folks, it’s Romance Saturday. And long-time readers of my blog know what that means . . .
Yes, it’s true. I reviewed another romance again at Shiny Book Review (SBR for short, as always). This time, I reviewed Stephanie Osborn’s A CASE OF SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION, book 5 in her Displaced Detective series.
A quick after-action report for y’all:
I enjoyed Stephanie’s latest very, very much. I thought the romance was stellar, and I agreed that something like this could very easily happen (though I have to admit that I took all the high-tech devices for metaphors).
Why?
Well, without giving too much of the plot away, a miscommunication between newlyweds Sherlock Holmes and Skye Chadwick-Holmes has caused major trouble in both their personal and professional lives. And while the failure of high-tech devices to work as operated is part of it (though there is an operator behind this failure; further reviewer sayeth not), the biggest problem between them is one that any newlywed couple can have.
“What’s that?” you ask.
Simple: it’s the problem of expectations.
While Sherlock Holmes is a fictional example (in both Arthur Conan Doyle’s version and Stephanie Osborn’s), the fact of the matter is that most newlyweds don’t see one another as real, live human beings with real, live failings. Someone like Sherlock or Skye has fewer failings than the average person, but both of them still have failings.
Instead, most newlyweds wear rose-colored glasses and want to believe their spouses are the absolute best person who ever walked the face of the Earth (save, perhaps, for Jesus Christ Himself, or Gautama Buddha, or maybe Confucius).
This is both a strength and a weakness, and it can be exploited by someone malicious, as Sherlock and Skye found . . . but if you can get past this, and see your partner as a human being with flaws and challenges, just like every other human being, it deepens and broadens your love considerably.
Look. My husband Michael was the most wonderful person I have ever met, bar none. But he was still a human being. He had flaws. (Not many, but he had a few.)
Did we have a newlywed blow-up? Not one as bad as Skye’s and Sherlock’s, no. But we did have a couple of misunderstandings, mostly because we were learning how to live with one another, and sometimes even with the best of intentions, you’re not going to be able to communicate with one another.
(Yes. Even two writers cannot always communicate with each other. Go figure.)
We worked around that. We found what worked for us. And that’s why our marriage worked.
In short, we met each other as real, live human beings with real, live failings. So we entered into our marriage with a more realistic expectation — granted, it wasn’t a first marriage for either one of us, so that possibly made a difference as well. (I’d say “probably,” but who knows? Not me.)
That doesn’t mean you don’t think the other person is wonderful. Believe you me, I did — and I still do.
But it means you see him as human and mortal. Not as a demigod. And that allows you to meet him on a field of equality, where you both have something to bring to the table.
Anyway, that’s why I enjoyed A CASE OF SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION so much as a romance. (I already discussed the mystery and hard SF elements in-depth in my review, but figured the actual romantic elements warranted a wee bit more discussion.)
You will, too, if you love honest romance with heart between two intelligent, passionate, hard-working individuals; if you love Sherlock Holmes stories (as brought to the modern-day); if you love hard SF along with your romantic mysteries; or if you love just-plain-good writing.
Attending Digicon 2014, Presenting Three Workshops
Folks, over the next three days (May 29-31, 2014), I will be attending Digicon 2014, a special event put on by SavvyAuthors.com. This is an important online writer’s convention, and I’m proud to be a part of it.
But I’m not just attending Digicon14. I am also presenting three workshops, which are:
- “When Your Crystal Ball Doesn’t Work — How to Fix Your Foreshadowing”
- “Procrastination Sedation — Or How to Quit Wasting Time on Social Media and Write”
- “Manuscripts Gone Wrong, or, How to Drive Your Editor Crazy Without Even Trying”
Now, why did I pick these particular topics?
Foreshadowing is one of the trickiest things for any writer to do. Even experienced writers can be confused by foreshadowing. So I tried to give some common-sense general tips. (I’m also hoping people will chime in with their own examples, so we can be a bit interactive.)
As for the second, time-management is essential for writers. Without it, we are doomed.
And as for the third? Well, I’m an editor. I’ve seen many mistakes time and time again. These mistakes can be overcome, but first, writers have to be made aware of them . . . it’s the same old adage as applies to anything else: You cannot fix a problem if you don’t first know it’s a problem.
If you, too, would like to be a part of Digicon14, it’s not too late for you to sign up here.
Hope to see you there.
Poet, Renaissance Woman Maya Angelou Dead at 86
Poet, Actress, and Renaissance woman Maya Angelou has died, according to the Associated Press. She was 86.
Ms. Angelou wrote many poems, several autobiographies (her best-known was probably I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SINGS), acted in the original ROOTS TV mini-series and appeared, as herself, in Tyler Perry’s MADEA’S FAMILY REUNION, where she recited a poem that discussed true love and its timeless nature.
In reading her obituary, I was struck by how many different things Ms. Angelou did during her life. She was a singer, an actress, a dancer, once owned a brothel . . . writers often kid each other about how many different jobs we’ve held, but it sounds like Ms. Angelou had all of the rest of us beat on that score.
All of that experience went into her writing, deepening and broadening it immensely. She was unafraid to be who she was, and admitted to several very bad things that had happened to her early in life. Somehow, she rose above those awful things, and became her best self.
It’s rare when a writer or poet gets to know a President. Ms. Angelou got to know at least three: Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama. All three men have said in the past that they felt inspired by her, so I cannot believe it would be any different now that she’s passed on.
I hadn’t been aware of half of the things Ms. Angelou did during her thoroughly extraordinary life. But I honor her for everything she did, everything she said — even if I didn’t always like it — and for living a life that inspired millions.
May her Afterlife be everything she hoped it would be.
Milwaukee Brewers Beat Orioles in Thriller…and other Brewers News
Folks, last night the Milwaukee Brewers beat the Baltimore Orioles in ten innings, 7-6. The Brewers sent up Yovani Gallardo, a pitcher scheduled to start Wednesday night’s ballgame, to pinch hit for closer Francisco Rodriguez, who’d been sent out at the top of the 10th to keep the game tied. Gallardo got a ringing double, missing a home run by maybe a foot, which drove home the winning run (Mark Reynolds, who’d been intentionally walked and was standing on first base).
This was a great game for the Brewers.
They weren’t perfect, but they got the job done. Jonathan Lucroy, of all people, tied the game up with an infield single in the bottom of the ninth (Lucroy is known for his clutch hitting and currently has a nine-game hitting streak, but he rarely gets infield hits). The bullpen was stellar, again, after starting pitcher Matt Garza fell apart in the 7th (though, admittedly, an error by SS Jean Segura didn’t help matters and prolonged the inning).
Still, what did I find when I went to look at the sports section at various Internet sites this morning? In addition to this fun story, there was something much darker.
According to Brewers General Manager Doug Melvin, OF Khris Davis actually had a threat made against his life via Twitter back when the Brewers were playing the Cubs in Chicago. (This was about ten days ago, give or take a few.) Davis said he reported it to Major League Baseball, and Melvin says it’s “been handled.”
No one should threaten anyone with death. Period. Not via Twitter, and not via any other means, either. This behavior is reprehensible. It cheapens every fan, everywhere, when someone makes death threats against a player for any reason.
In short, I’d like to see some common sense when it comes to baseball fans.
Yes, criticize the players for their play on the field when they make mistakes. Definitely compliment the players when they do something right — or better yet, something unexpected, like Gallardo’s walk-off double. Go ahead and exercise your freedom of speech as much as you like . . . but do not make death threats against players.
Period.
Barb Caffrey's Blog 