Barb Caffrey's Blog

Folks, I’m still alive. Still here. Still doing my best. And, being me, I’ve been thinking about the biggest story and conundrum — outside of politics, that is (not healthy enough to talk politics yet) — of the last few weeks, those being the deaths of actor Gene Hackman, 95, and his wife, classical pianist Betsy Arakawa Hackman, 65.

When they were found, both had been dead over a week. Gene Hackman was found in the mud room — probably the room closest to one of the outside doors — his cane and sunglasses lying where they fell. His wife, Betsy, was found in the bathroom. She’d collapsed there. Pills were scattered all over. One of their three dogs had also perished, but the other two were OK.

You can see where this turn of events was shocking in many senses, can’t you?

Anyway, the medical examiner where they lived in New Mexico said that Betsy Arakawa Hackman died of hantavirus. She died, they think, on February 11, 2025. They had video and email evidence that showed she was active before that time.

When I heard that part of the news, I was a little surprised. Hantavirus is not something I have to deal with in Wisconsin, but I have heard of it. It is a disease spread by rodents. It’s possible that one of the three dogs might’ve carried something in…though the ME certainly didn’t speculate (that’s just me, knowing how dogs act).

Then the ME discussed Hackman’s death. (I heard this while driving, and confirmed a lot of it later online.) He died apparently a week after his wife did. Why didn’t he call 911? She didn’t get into that, but said he had three things that had combined to kill him: long-time hypertension, a history of cardiac problems/arteriosclerosis (also known as atherosclerosis), and, the most shocking of all, advanced Alzheimer’s disease.

This was really stunning to hear.

I took several deep breaths after hearing this, in fact, because I know, a little bit anyway, what Alzheimer’s can do. One of my great-aunts had dementia, probably Alzheimer’s. I visited her when I was a teenager. She didn’t recognize me, only part of the time recognized her own sister (the other part, she thought my grandma was their mother), and also didn’t recognize my mother — the person my great-aunt trusted best, besides her sister, in the whole world.

Alzheimer’s is a really weird disease. It not only robs you of your memories, robs you at least in part of your intellect (depending on how bad it is; my great-aunt’s wasn’t as bad as some as she could still communicate and did still recognize my grandma at least some of the time), but does all sorts of other things that don’t seem to make much sense at all. Some people who get it are not violent, as indeed my great-aunt was not. But some are.

We need a cure for Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia, because a disease that robs you of yourself is the scariest thing that I could ever imagine.

At any rate, everything I’m going to say next is speculation, but here goes.

Hackman had Alzheimer’s, so he didn’t either realize his wife was dead, didn’t know she was his wife anymore, or had some other thing going on. That’s why he didn’t call 911. He was still with it enough to take his cane with him when he went outside for a walk and to put sunglasses on, but that doesn’t mean he was with it in every other sense.

Because she died first, when he passed, there was no one to say anything about either one of them. He was on a cardiac monitor, and they later looked up what that feed told them. He had some sort of cardiac event on February 19th — this being approximately 8 days after the last time Betsy, his wife, had been alive — and after that, his pacemaker went nonfunctional. (That’s because he was dead.)

They had three dogs, and the one that died was twelve years old. That particular dog was known to be particularly attached to Betsy. It’s possible that the reason this dog was in a closet was because Hackman, not compos mentis anymore, didn’t like the howls, barks, whines, or other things the dog was probably doing around Betsy’s dead body. (Dogs do this. They know when someone is ill, and they know when someone is dying or has already passed on.) So, it’s possible Hackman put the one dog in the closet, then forgot about the dog, which is why the dog died (apparently of dehydration and malnutrition, though again, that’s my own speculation).

The other two dogs were still alive. How? Well, maybe Hackman had enough left of himself to feed the other two dogs and give them water. Maybe that’s why he went outside, as one of the dogs was found outside. We’ll never know for sure, but if no one was in that house save the Hackmans, and Betsy died on February 11, there’s only one reason the other two dogs were alive — and that’s because Gene Hackman was feeding and watering them.

This was tragic, though, on all levels. Betsy Arakawa Hackman loved her husband so much, she was taking care of him at home by herself. She wore herself down to a thread, it seems to me, and that may have been why when she somehow was exposed to hantavirus that she didn’t last very long. They know she emailed a few people on February 11, which means she was well enough to sit up and say she was sick (assuming that’s what she said; I don’t know if that’s what it was, as I’m still speculating). But later that day or evening, in the bathroom, she collapsed and died.

This part is not speculation, however. The ME said flat-out that Gene Hackman had previous cardiac events and heart damage consistent with prior heart attacks. The ME also said Gene H. had arteriosclerosis. (She said atherosclerosis. It’s the same thing, or so close it makes no nevermind.) This is what my grandma would’ve called “hardening of the arteries.” It’s consistent with the other heart issues the ME found.

So, even without the Alzheimer’s that the ME found, Gene H. would’ve needed extensive care from his wife or a caregiver. He was 95, his body was failing, and his mind was almost gone — I can’t imagine how else to put it, as he must’ve known someone had died in that bathroom, even if he didn’t recognize her as his wife anymore — so he didn’t know to call 911, or didn’t care, or felt it wasn’t his problem…who knows what he was thinking, or if he was thinking at all? Maybe he did the best he could do, which was to keep the other two dogs alive.

Sometimes life is just cruel, and I think the fact that Betsy Arakawa Hackman died before her husband Gene did is just that: cruel.

All I can think of now is, what about the two surviving dogs? Will they find good homes? (I hope so.)

And, finally…if there is a positive afterlife, I hope Betsy greeted her husband, and that he knew her again, knew their love, knew her sacrifices on his behalf, and know her immense love and kindness and concern for him. I’d like to think the two of them walked into Heaven together, hand in hand, with their twelve-year-old dog beside them, bright-eyed and bushy tailed, free and happy and out of pain and knowing each other as only close loved ones can.