Barb Caffrey's Blog

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Recent Heckling of MLB’s Ketel Marte Troubling

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Folks, most of you who’ve read this blog for any length of time know I’m a baseball fan. And while my favorite team is the Milwaukee Brewers (always has been), my heart goes out to players who’ve suffered from life.

Take the Arizona Diamondbacks second baseman Ketel Marte, for example. Most people wouldn’t know he’s suffered loss, as he often smiles, laughs, and jokes around on the field…but recently, a fan heckled him in Chicago and it upset him dearly.

While I don’t know exactly what was said, Marte’s mother was invoked. It was apparently far beyond a “your Mama wears combat boots” type of insult, which most MLB players have heard since their days in Little League. My guess is it went like this: “It’s a good thing your mother’s already dead, considering what you just did.”

That’s wrong. It shouldn’t have happened.

See, Marte’s mother died in 2017. He still grieves for her. She died in a car accident, which means it was a sudden and completely unexpected death.

Marte is now thirty-one years old. He’s still a young man. But most of his success in major league baseball has come after the death of his mother, and that’s been very hard on him.

Maybe some of you are thinking, “He’s making big money. Why should I care?”

You should care because you’re a human being and you’ve likely suffered loss yourself.

I know that I understand how he feels. If someone heckled me about my late husband, I’d be first livid and then later very sad. It’s hard to stay above such personal insults. It hits you on a raw spot, even years later.

As for the unnamed fan, he’s been indefinitely banned by not just the White Sox, but by the entirety of MLB.

Baseball players are human beings. Their careers are often quite short. The money they make seems nice on its face, but there are a lot of trade-offs that come with that money, including constant travel, the potential for serious injury, the loss of time with their families, and much more. It’s not a job most people would want if they considered all the downsides, including possible interactions like with this dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks fan.

Most baseball fans have reacted the way I have, whether they’ve lost someone close to them or not. They know that insults like that are not acceptable and cannot be tolerated by civilized human beings.

I really wish everyone would try to remember that we only get this one life to live. We should approach people with dignity and respect as much as possible.

So if you’re going to yell insults at a baseball player or other athlete, stick with how they’re playing. Leave the parents, spouses, children, etc., out of it.

But better yet, don’t heckle at all. Life is too short for that.

Written by Barb Caffrey

June 26, 2025 at 12:03 am

Posted in baseball, Criticism/critique, in general, Informational Stuff, Prescient observations, Writing

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Way Too Hot, Way Too Humid…and My Thoughts Regarding the Recent MN Assassinations and Assassination Attempts

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The weather here in Southeastern Wisconsin is bad. It’s been hot, humid, and nasty for the past several days…this on top of the previous few weeks of marginal to outright bad air quality (this for everyone, not just asthmatics like me).

Otherwise, I’ve been thinking about a lot of things. The shootings of the Minnesota lawmakers — the assassinations of one and her husband (Melissa and Mark Hortman), and the attempted assassinations of another and his wife (John Hoffman and his wife Yvette Hoffman) — have dwelled upon my mind. It is deeply upsetting that there are people in this country who do such awful things.

I’ve been saying this for years, mind, over the various terrible things that have happened. Not all of it has happened to politicians. Sometimes police have been shot (such as at a grocery store in Colorado) and killed while doing their jobs. (Indeed, there were police who were trying to keep order on January 6th, 2021, who got badly hurt. A few later died and there were at least ten who had significant injuries that caused them to retire early from the police force. Look up Michael Fanone’s name to find out what happened to him, that day.) There have been school kids killed for what seems like no reason whatsoever (Sandy Hook, Columbine, Uvalde).

I don’t know what the answers are to stop these things, especially as what tends to work in other countries does not work well in the United States. (Such as controlling the flow of automatic weapons. Note I didn’t say all weapons. The Second Amendment to the Constitution assuredly believed people should keep some weapons, though at the time it was written, gunsmithing was not very far along and automatic weaponry and semiautomatic weapons were not even a glimmer in a creator’s eye.)

But one thing I do know is, staying silent doesn’t work.

I condemn all of these various things that I’ve discussed. I have condemned them many times on my blog with other, awful things that have happened (including the attempted assassination of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, D-AZ). And I most definitely condemn the assassination of the Hortmans and the attempted assassinations of the Hoffmans. I think if you believe in the Bible, as the shooter who assassinated the Hortmans and nearly managed to kill the Hoffmans supposedly did, that you need to look at the Ten Commandments again.

One of them is, “Thou shalt not kill.” Sometimes that is translated as “Thou shalt not murder.”

The shooter’s part-time roommate (I am not naming the shooter as I never do here at my blog) said in several places that he knew his roommate the shooter wasn’t happy with politicians. But the roommate also said that doing something like this is flat-out crazy. He never suspected the shooter. Pointed out that both he (the roommate) and the shooter had voted for Trump (there was a conspiracy theory going around saying that it was a leftwing activist who went after the Hortmans and Hoffmans for “not being left enough,” but that’s not the case).

I say this to point out that it’s more important to follow Jesus’s proposed eleventh commandment, that being “Love one another as I have loved you.”

I also want you to think about this: If Jesus were here now, who do you think he’d be helping? The homeless on the street, or the billionaires jetting from island to island? Would he be more likely to help the poor Mary Magdalenes of this world (i.e., prostitutes) or would he help those who already have power consolidate it into their two hands and never let it go?

If you honestly think that Jesus, if he came to Earth today, would not try to help the homeless and would not try to help contemporary Mary Magdalenes, I don’t know what to say to you.

“But Barb,” you protest. “Why wouldn’t he want to help the billionaires be better people?”

I think Jesus would want to do that. But if time was limited — and being in a mortal body, time is always limited — he’d help those who obviously needed it first. The drunks. The indigent. The folks trying their best who can’t catch a break. The prostitutes, especially those who’ve been human trafficked.

I do think that current-day billionaires should look at two people to perhaps give them some sort of enlightenment. The first is Bill Gates, who has vowed to give away his entire fortune before he dies. The second is, of all people, Cornelius Vanderbilt, as Vanderbilt’s philanthropy was almost as legendary as his ability to make lots and lots of money.

But as it’s very unlikely any of them will read my blog, I’ll leave the rest of you with this:

Be your best self. Care about others. Pay attention, and do what you can to alleviate other people’s pain. If you can make a positive difference for someone, do it.

That, to my mind, is what any positive religious influence, whether it’s Jesus, Confucius, the Buddha, Joseph Smith, or Baha’ullah, has hoped for us to do.

Also, keep listening to the new Pope. He has his head on straight. (You don’t have to agree with him 100% of the time. I think it’s impossible to agree with anyone 100% of the time.)

For those of you who feel as I do, stuck in the Void and wondering if anything you do will ever matter all that much, keep holding a positive thought as best you can.

One day at a time. Sometimes, one hour at a time, or one minute at a time. Just do your best to help others, and “Love one another the way I loved you,” as Jesus said. (Or as the Wiccans say, “Do what you want so long as you harm none.”)

P.S. The Hoffmans look on their way to a full recovery. I am very glad about this.

P.P.S. In case there’s any doubt, I condemn all violence. As Jon Stewart said last week on the Daily Show (Monday’s edition), “I don’t give a flying **** as to why this man” (meaning the shooter in MN) “did what he did.” (And yes, he said the actual word. I try not to do that, as if I started typing expletives all the time I’d get nothing done. But I did sympathize with Stewart while he used his own.)

P.P.P.S. I also am quite upset that the Hortmans’ faithful dog, a Golden Retriever, was shot. The Hortman children had to make the decision to put the poor dog down. Melissa Hortman, former Democratic Speaker of Minnesota’s lower house, was known for walking her dog, rain or shine, several times a day. That an innocent, loving animal was killed — as he wouldn’t have had to be put down without that shooter doing those atrocious and reprehensible things — in addition to the Hortmans themselves just angers me on a visceral level that I can’t quite explain.

Written by Barb Caffrey

June 23, 2025 at 6:22 am

Posted in Criticism/critique, heartbreaking stories, in general, Informational Stuff, mass shootings, Prescient observations, Religion, Spirituality, Truly horrible behavior, Writing

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Sunday Musings: As Tornados Ravage the Midwest and South, Remind Yourself of What Matters

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Folks, as I continue to heal from a perplexing illness (I’ll get to that in a while), I wanted to discuss the tornados that have ravaged the Midwest and South, among other places, this past week.

There were four confirmed tornado touchdowns in Wisconsin earlier this week, all on the same day. We were fortunate that no one was confirmed dead. People lost power, and some homes were damaged along with some barns. These are not good things, but they’re not as bad as what could’ve happened.

The reason I say that is, over the last few days, twenty-five people died in several states — including Kentucky — due to tornadic activity. There may well be more people dead than twenty-five; that’s what they know so far.

More tornados are on the way, too, especially in Nebraska, Colorado, and Kansas, among other states. These are traditionally states that get hit exceptionally hard by tornados.

But now we get to the awful part. (As if tornados aren’t bad enough.) There are folks online who have said because the people who’ve died were in “red states” (meaning Republican dominated states), that just “thins the herd.” I’ve also seen some folks who’ve said that the current presidential administration is not likely to help any of the states badly affected, because so far they’ve not helped Arkansas (deeply red), North Carolina (purple — basically a toss-up state like my own Wisconsin), or other places that have been ravaged by natural disasters already this year. FEMA (the federal emergency management agency) has been largely defunded, for whatever reason, and many people are already struggling.

Tornado touchdowns, tornado damage, and tornadic activity that threatens lives as well as livelihoods is going to just make things worse.

I have words for those who believe it’s OK for people to suffer. None of them are polite.

I lived in Nebraska and Colorado, and I know tornados can be terrible there. I used to see greenish-black skies there at certain times of year, and was always aware of the lowest point of any place I was at — school, work, apartment, whatever — to wait out any terrible storms. I certainly did not care whether the people I was with were Democrats, Republicans, Independents, or Martians. All I cared about was making sure people survived to live another day.

The farmers in these states (especially Nebraska and Missouri) will need help. If the current administration refuses to help them — and they probably won’t — that just screws over their own voters. It seems particularly ruinous, politically, to do such a thing, as well as being morally wrong.

Those who’ve already died were human beings and deserve dignity and respect. We owe it to ourselves to do whatever we can to help those in need, especially if the current administration refuses to do so. We cannot allow ourselves to become so inured as to say, “Who cares about them?”

That’s a horrible way to view life, and it’s one I’m not going to ever partake in. We must be better than that.

Now, as to the perplexing illness? Part of it is a wicked sinus and ear infection, which is not perplexing at all as I get them reasonably often. But the other part…well, it’s just odd.

I have been getting rashes on my back with blisters. The blisters were cultured and sent off to a pathology lab as the dermatologist had no idea what was going on. I was told this is a disease that happens if you’ve been around sheep or goats and have touched an open wound — and none of that is true in my case, as I haven’t been near a petting zoo in over twenty years.

I’d hoped this was resolving, but I discovered another blister last night. I won’t pop it — I know better — but will let the dermatology people know in case they can do anything other than what I’m already doing. (Basically — keep it clean. Use antibiotic ointment if the blister pops on its own. Use a medicated ointment to reduce the itching. Take a pill at night that allows for sleep because it greatly lessens the itching while having a soporific effect allowing sleep to occur.)

Of course, as the sinus infection and ear pain/issues happens to be particularly bad, I am on steroids as well as antibiotics and will be for another five days. These two things tend to offset, making me feel like I’m in some sort of complex ping-pong game. While both things seem to be healing (the rash itself is much better, though that new blister bugs me; the sinuses are clearing, and I can think much better, even though I do poorly on steroids as my body does not like them), I’m greatly weakened by them both happening at the same time.

I keep thinking that life should not be this difficult.

I’ve tried to keep several popular hard rock songs at the top of my mind. The first is Disturbed’s newest song, “I Will Not Break.” (Seems self-explanatory, yes?) The second, again, is Poppy’s “New Way Out,” which I’ve discussed before. (Poppy’s lyrics speak of frustration, of looking for a new way out and not finding one but refusing to stop trying. “Are you going to get up, or are they going to keep you down?” is one, followed by “Get up.”) The third is Nothing More’s “Here’s to the Heartache,” which may or may not be understandable…it’s a beautiful song that points out everything you do, everything you are, has led you to the place you’re in (and the people who are in your life). It’s specifically about romance, and it of course reminds me of Michael when I hear the lyric that says “…and that’s what it took to lead me to you. So here’s to the heartache…here’s to the mistakes…” There’s more, and I suggest you listen to it yourself as it is a truly beautiful and memorable song that’s musically far more than the sum of its parts.

Both Disturbed and Nothing More are comprised of intelligent people with exceptional musicianship and knowledge. Disturbed’s lead singer David Draiman has a versatile voice that could probably sing opera if he wanted (he is a baritone, but can sing some higher parts with excellent vocal quality also). Nothing More’s Jonny Hawkins is a percussionist who turned to singing and his rhythmic skills are prodigious, as are his vocal skills (he’s got a tenor range and can do anything required of him). The musicians in these bands are all excellent. I can’t recommend them highly enough.

As for Poppy, her voice is higher than I usually listen to, but there is a purity to it in quieter moments that makes me think she could do anything she wants with such a voice. Her lyrics are intelligent, and she obviously understands contemporary music as well as anyone out there (and better than most). I don’t know if she plays any instruments herself (I have looked up her Wikipedia article, but it’s light on details that way; it mostly discusses how she was self-developed as an artist on YouTube, starting with being called “ThatPoppy” and later just Poppy), but she obviously understands what she’s about and surrounds herself with quality musicians.

Music reminds me of how there’s more to us, as human beings, than politics, money, creed, lifestyle, gender, sexual expression, or any other way. There are things that unite us. Music is one of the biggest and best things that still does that.

Oh, I should also say that last night I also confused YouTube mightily when I searched for Schubert’s “Unfinished Symphony.” (It knows I will listen to jazz saxophonist Art Pepper on occasion, but I hadn’t listened to any classical music with it ever, mostly because due to my training, I see such things usually as “work.”) I find that particular piece of Schubert’s to be quite hauntingly beautiful, and was in need of some of its healing qualities, too…

Anyway, please do not let the exigencies of the moment stop you from understanding that we humans are worth more than the atrocious comments I discussed above (regarding the tornados). Appeal to your best selves this Sunday, and every day. Do whatever you can to make life better for someone out there.

Don’t become inured to suffering, please. That just wastes your time on this earth, and your time and mine are limited as it is.

In short: care about others, dammit. Help those who need it. Demand better from our government if they refuse to help those who suffer from natural disasters. Insist upon humanity and human rights and dignity.

And listen to the new Pope, dubbed Leo the Fourteenth. He’s an interesting, well-read, well-traveled man who happens to be a Midwestern American, and so far, he reminds me a great deal of Pope Francis in that Leo cares about everyone. (As he should.)

Written by Barb Caffrey

May 18, 2025 at 8:48 am

Posted in Criticism/critique, Informational Stuff, Music, Prescient observations, Writing

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Signalgate: What the Hell?

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Folks, I feel I must blog on this.

If you do not know what Signalgate is yet, here’s a quick definition. The United States was about to send military planes to strike the Houthis in Yemen. There was a text chain and/or a group chat going on through the Signal app — which, while encrypted, is not a secure thing compared to, say, going into a SCIF (secure place, where you do not bring cell phones, Apple watches, or anything save maybe a pen and paper and that’s it) — that featured the head of the Department of Defense, Pete Hegseth, and quite a few members of the 47th President Donald Trump’s Cabinet. Other prominent people on this text chain were Secretary of State Marco Rubio (who should’ve known better), Department of National Intelligence head Tulsi Gabbard (who also should’ve known better), National Security Advisor Mike Waltz, Trump aide Steven Miller, the Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy (why was he included?), Trump’s Chief of Staff Susie Wiles (who also should’ve known better), and worst of all, JD Vance, the Vice President. (Wikipedia has a precis available here that’s pretty good.)

Really, people? This is the best you could do? We’d not know about this if they hadn’t added a journalist to the call inadvertently (Jeffrey Goldberg, editor-in-chief of The Atlantic). And because of that, along with pointing out that doing all this was not secure and was not safe and shouldn’t happen, Goldberg is getting vilified by many on the right for reasons I do not understand.

There’s a reason you go into the SCIF, people!

What’s that reason? Operational Security, AKA “OpSec.” Something Hegseth said was fine on this text chain or group chat or whatever the Hell it was.

Um, no. It wasn’t.

Look. I am only a former military wife. My ex-husband was in the active-duty Army for almost five years when we were married. If he had done anything remotely like this, he would’ve been sent to Fort Leavenworth so fast his head would’ve spun.

For those of you who don’t know why this is, let me put it to you this way. If you’re in the military, you are supposed to remember something along these lines: Loose lips sink ships. That applies in the Army, though they don’t have ships. It also applies to the Navy, where my late husband Michael served, as well as my father.

In fact, Dad was a radio technician. He knew a lot about OpSec. I think if he were still alive, he’d have burst a blood vessel in his head or something, as what Hegseth, et. al, just did is not something anyone should be doing.

Dad was a non-com. He wasn’t an officer. But he knew what you could say and what you couldn’t. He also knew what mediums you could use if something was not classified, and what you shouldn’t use under any circumstances.

While cell phones were not something that Dad had to deal with in the 1950s when he served, they did have extensive radio traffic. Possibly more than we do now, because we have computers. Anyway, Dad knew that you do not say something out in the open that anyone could possibly listen to or break into/hack into, and you most certainly would not do this from anywhere other than a secure place.

This could’ve killed members of the US military if the Houthis had been tipped off this attack was coming. Only by the grace of God did that not happen.

I mean, one of these people on the chat/text thing was in Moscow. Russia, despite what the current President believes, is not a typical ally of the United States.

So, what the Hell was this guy in Russia doing on an unsecured line texting back and forth about the air strikes that were about to hit Yemen?

Seriously? What the Hell?

I’m particularly disappointed in Gabbard and Rubio. They are career politicians, yes, but Gabbard was an Army Major at one time. She’s not a fool. Rubio was at one time quite canny, and understood what “OpSec” really is a few years ago. But he obviously doesn’t now.

The excuses of “well, we didn’t know” or “these weren’t really war plans” (which go to hundreds of pages) do not fly with me. At all.

My view of this is very simple. If a noncom like my Dad could’ve been sent to jail for less, and trust me, he could’ve, these people have no excuse — zero — for what they did.

Do I want them in jail? No. But I do want them fired, or to resign, effective immediately. Not just Waltz, the NSA. All of them, including the Vice President.

They’ve all shown they can’t be trusted, they have no common sense, and they don’t know what the Hell they’re doing. The current President deserves better from these people, and he’s not likely to get it, so he should ask them all to submit their resignations ASAP. (If not, they should be fired, and if Mr. Trump refuses to fire them, they should be impeached and removed. Every single last one of them.)

Or as Rachel Maddow put it — I hope I get it right — “These aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed. They’re quite dull tools. But this is who we have in charge of our national security.”

Unsaid, but very obvious, was the subtext of this: God help us all.

Written by Barb Caffrey

March 27, 2025 at 4:26 am

Posted in Informational Stuff, Prescient observations, Public figures, Stupid, United States Politics, United States Presidents

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Catching Up (Including Some Thoughts on Milwaukee Sports)

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Folks, I thought I’d just type something to you all today, mostly so you’d know I’m still alive and doing the best I can.

The last several months have been beyond difficult. Sometimes, I’m not sure I know when the stress ends and I begin. The only good thing I can point to is that I’ve been able to write more…it’s more that my writing is demanding that I set it down than anything. (Most writers have been there a time or three.)

I’ve also been able to write some music from time to time, though it’s fitful. For example, right now I have a multiple movement piece going, and not one of the movements has been finished. They’re all started, which is great. But if I don’t figure out where the melodies are, where the harmonies should be implied (this is a solo saxophone piece, in case anyone’s wondering; since the sax cannot play chords on its own, the best anyone can do in a solo piece is to imply what the harmony might well be), and figure out how to end these movements while trying to tie them all up in a nifty bow, I’d be doing myself a disservice.

You might wonder why I say that. It’s because I know, as my late husband Michael used to say, that my first language is music. My second language is words. This is why I listen so much for what something sounds like, as well as how it flows, in words. It’s probably why before I started writing a great deal of fiction, I’d written quite a few poems.

I also have made some excellent progress with the can’t-tell-you-yet-project. Here’s to hoping I make even more progress in the upcoming week.

I’m also looking forward to the start of Major League Baseball’s Opening Day. The Milwaukee Brewers will be opening up their season on March 27 in New York City as they’re scheduled to play the Yankees. A few days later, they will return to Milwaukee and play their first home games of the year.

(Yes, the Los Angeles Dodgers played the Chicago Cubs in a two-game series in Japan on March 18 and 19. I’m sorry, though; that did not feel like Opening Day or even Opening Week to me, instead feeling like two glorified exhibition games that the Dodgers get to take two games as “wins” for the regular season. I was not impressed.)

As per usual, I’m also keeping an eye on the Milwaukee Bucks. They’ve been playing well, for the most part, despite having games where their star players either are not able to play, or are dealing with significant injuries that can’t help but hamper them. Giannis Antetokounmpo is, to my mind, the best player in the NBA. He is excellent defensively, has a great mid-range jump shot, can take the ball to the basket on just about anyone, and somehow, the coaching staff has gotten him to lay off the three-point shot (as it’s really not Giannis’s strength at all). He dishes out assists, pulls down rebounds, and scores over thirty points a night regularly. Between him and Damian Lillard (an excellent three-point shooter and much better defensively than I’d expected), the Bucks go into just about any game believing they can and will win. (Then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.)

So, that’s about it. I’m writing and editing as I’m able, watching sports as I always do, keeping the home fires burning as best I can also, and am looking for the silver lining, even if I don’t yet know where it is.

What are you all doing this week?

Written by Barb Caffrey

March 23, 2025 at 7:19 am

Posted in Informational Stuff, Writing

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Thoughts on the Recent Deaths of Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa

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Folks, I’m still alive. Still here. Still doing my best. And, being me, I’ve been thinking about the biggest story and conundrum — outside of politics, that is (not healthy enough to talk politics yet) — of the last few weeks, those being the deaths of actor Gene Hackman, 95, and his wife, classical pianist Betsy Arakawa Hackman, 65.

When they were found, both had been dead over a week. Gene Hackman was found in the mud room — probably the room closest to one of the outside doors — his cane and sunglasses lying where they fell. His wife, Betsy, was found in the bathroom. She’d collapsed there. Pills were scattered all over. One of their three dogs had also perished, but the other two were OK.

You can see where this turn of events was shocking in many senses, can’t you?

Anyway, the medical examiner where they lived in New Mexico said that Betsy Arakawa Hackman died of hantavirus. She died, they think, on February 11, 2025. They had video and email evidence that showed she was active before that time.

When I heard that part of the news, I was a little surprised. Hantavirus is not something I have to deal with in Wisconsin, but I have heard of it. It is a disease spread by rodents. It’s possible that one of the three dogs might’ve carried something in…though the ME certainly didn’t speculate (that’s just me, knowing how dogs act).

Then the ME discussed Hackman’s death. (I heard this while driving, and confirmed a lot of it later online.) He died apparently a week after his wife did. Why didn’t he call 911? She didn’t get into that, but said he had three things that had combined to kill him: long-time hypertension, a history of cardiac problems/arteriosclerosis (also known as atherosclerosis), and, the most shocking of all, advanced Alzheimer’s disease.

This was really stunning to hear.

I took several deep breaths after hearing this, in fact, because I know, a little bit anyway, what Alzheimer’s can do. One of my great-aunts had dementia, probably Alzheimer’s. I visited her when I was a teenager. She didn’t recognize me, only part of the time recognized her own sister (the other part, she thought my grandma was their mother), and also didn’t recognize my mother — the person my great-aunt trusted best, besides her sister, in the whole world.

Alzheimer’s is a really weird disease. It not only robs you of your memories, robs you at least in part of your intellect (depending on how bad it is; my great-aunt’s wasn’t as bad as some as she could still communicate and did still recognize my grandma at least some of the time), but does all sorts of other things that don’t seem to make much sense at all. Some people who get it are not violent, as indeed my great-aunt was not. But some are.

We need a cure for Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia, because a disease that robs you of yourself is the scariest thing that I could ever imagine.

At any rate, everything I’m going to say next is speculation, but here goes.

Hackman had Alzheimer’s, so he didn’t either realize his wife was dead, didn’t know she was his wife anymore, or had some other thing going on. That’s why he didn’t call 911. He was still with it enough to take his cane with him when he went outside for a walk and to put sunglasses on, but that doesn’t mean he was with it in every other sense.

Because she died first, when he passed, there was no one to say anything about either one of them. He was on a cardiac monitor, and they later looked up what that feed told them. He had some sort of cardiac event on February 19th — this being approximately 8 days after the last time Betsy, his wife, had been alive — and after that, his pacemaker went nonfunctional. (That’s because he was dead.)

They had three dogs, and the one that died was twelve years old. That particular dog was known to be particularly attached to Betsy. It’s possible that the reason this dog was in a closet was because Hackman, not compos mentis anymore, didn’t like the howls, barks, whines, or other things the dog was probably doing around Betsy’s dead body. (Dogs do this. They know when someone is ill, and they know when someone is dying or has already passed on.) So, it’s possible Hackman put the one dog in the closet, then forgot about the dog, which is why the dog died (apparently of dehydration and malnutrition, though again, that’s my own speculation).

The other two dogs were still alive. How? Well, maybe Hackman had enough left of himself to feed the other two dogs and give them water. Maybe that’s why he went outside, as one of the dogs was found outside. We’ll never know for sure, but if no one was in that house save the Hackmans, and Betsy died on February 11, there’s only one reason the other two dogs were alive — and that’s because Gene Hackman was feeding and watering them.

This was tragic, though, on all levels. Betsy Arakawa Hackman loved her husband so much, she was taking care of him at home by herself. She wore herself down to a thread, it seems to me, and that may have been why when she somehow was exposed to hantavirus that she didn’t last very long. They know she emailed a few people on February 11, which means she was well enough to sit up and say she was sick (assuming that’s what she said; I don’t know if that’s what it was, as I’m still speculating). But later that day or evening, in the bathroom, she collapsed and died.

This part is not speculation, however. The ME said flat-out that Gene Hackman had previous cardiac events and heart damage consistent with prior heart attacks. The ME also said Gene H. had arteriosclerosis. (She said atherosclerosis. It’s the same thing, or so close it makes no nevermind.) This is what my grandma would’ve called “hardening of the arteries.” It’s consistent with the other heart issues the ME found.

So, even without the Alzheimer’s that the ME found, Gene H. would’ve needed extensive care from his wife or a caregiver. He was 95, his body was failing, and his mind was almost gone — I can’t imagine how else to put it, as he must’ve known someone had died in that bathroom, even if he didn’t recognize her as his wife anymore — so he didn’t know to call 911, or didn’t care, or felt it wasn’t his problem…who knows what he was thinking, or if he was thinking at all? Maybe he did the best he could do, which was to keep the other two dogs alive.

Sometimes life is just cruel, and I think the fact that Betsy Arakawa Hackman died before her husband Gene did is just that: cruel.

All I can think of now is, what about the two surviving dogs? Will they find good homes? (I hope so.)

And, finally…if there is a positive afterlife, I hope Betsy greeted her husband, and that he knew her again, knew their love, knew her sacrifices on his behalf, and know her immense love and kindness and concern for him. I’d like to think the two of them walked into Heaven together, hand in hand, with their twelve-year-old dog beside them, bright-eyed and bushy tailed, free and happy and out of pain and knowing each other as only close loved ones can.

Written by Barb Caffrey

March 8, 2025 at 2:53 am

Posted in heartbreaking stories, in general, Informational Stuff, love stories, Public figures, Remembrance

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Surfacing Briefly…

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Folks, right now I am battling a case of the flu. I suspect it would be considered “mild” as I can think, but it’s not pleasant, regardless.

So, while I have plenty of things to say, my health is the priority right now.

Mostly, I just wanted to use this opportunity to urge you to be good to one another, and treat others the way you, yourself, want to be treated. As always, if you can keep from spreading vitriol (which I define as “bad stuff for the sake of bad stuff,” which is a lot different than speaking truth to power), do it, as the world has more than enough vitriol to last several thousand lifetimes as it is.

Music I’m listening to: Poppy’s “New Way Out” is attractive, though I don’t understand why she always has to say “Poppy” in all of her songs. (Her voice is distinctive enough that I don’t need that cue.) “I need a new way…I need a new way out” is a lyric that can’t help but resonate strongly with me. Other favorites include “Monsters” by Shinedown and of course “Hold on to Memories” by Disturbed.

Book I’m avidly waiting for: Sharon Lee and Steve Miller’s DIVINER’S BOW, the latest in their trademarked Liaden Universe. If you haven’t read any of their work yet, go do it ASAP. Good places to start include SALVAGE RIGHT, FLEDGLING, PLAN B, LOCAL CUSTOM, CONFLICT OF HONORS, and SCOUT’S PROGRESS. There’s action, romance, believable aliens, and all sorts of other details that cement these novels as being the excellent works I know them to be. Note that if you read one, you’re likely to find them as addicting as I do…in the best of senses. (So read, people!)

Anyway, hold tight to your moral compass, and remember that what is popular may not always be right. Open your minds, refuse to cede any of your mind to anyone in advance, and always, always question authority.

I’ll be back when I feel better.

Written by Barb Caffrey

February 13, 2025 at 3:57 am

Posted in in general, Informational Stuff, Prescient observations, Sharon Lee/Steve Miller, Writing

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Bob Uecker, Voice of the Milwaukee Brewers, Has Died

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I woke up today to the news that my childhood hero Bob Uecker, long-time voice of the Milwaukee Brewers, has died. He was 90.

While that’s a good, long life, Uecker was what I’d call an “American original.” He was a great broadcaster, yes, but also was an actor, a comedian, wrote two books (including Catcher in the Wry), a philanthropist, and was one of the more unforgettable people I’d ever watched, read about, or listened to during the course of my lifetime.

When I was very young, I listened to Uecker on the radio broadcasts with Merle Harmon. (Yes, that goes back a ways, doesn’t it?) Harmon was the play-by-play guy back then, while Uecker was the color man. At one point, Harmon felt Uecker was ready to start doing innings by himself, so the story Uecker often told was that Harmon simply didn’t show up one half-inning. Uecker had to do the game by himself. Harmon eventually did come back and finish the game, and they had a few more good years as radio partners before other announcers came in.

By that point, Uecker was the top dog. Everyone he mentored, whether it was Pat Hughes, Corey Provus, or current announcers Jeff Levering, Lane Grindle, and Josh Mauer, later became far better broadcasters with what assuredly seemed like more knowledge of the world around them.

There have been many tributes already, from former MLB commissioner Bud Selig; former Brewers players Brent Suter (now a pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds) and Ryan Braun; current announcers Grindle and Levering; current players Brandon Woodruff and Christian Yelich; current manager Pat Murphy; and finally, former manager Craig Counsell. Other announcers, both on TV and radio, have chimed in, along with some of the actors Uecker used to work with (Tracy Tofte worked with Uecker on the sitcom “Mr. Belvedere,” and visited Ueck three weeks ago). Fans went out to American Family Field (formerly known as Miller Park) and left cans of Miller Lite at the base of Ueck’s statue outside the stadium in memory of Ueck’s famous commercials for Miller Lite years ago. (They also left flowers, memories, and at least one Brewers baseball cap.)

All I can tell you is, Uecker was the announcer for the Brewers when I was young, as I grew up, and as I matured into the person I am today. He was funny, articulate, often charming, sometimes scathing, but always, always interesting. He made people laugh, even on the worst days of their lives. He charmed iconic TV host Johnny Carson so much that Carson gave Ueck the nickname “Mr. Baseball,” first ironically, then wholeheartedly. (Carson also had Ueck back over one hundred times on his show, including during the last week Carson hosted.)

I think, though, the reason I liked Uecker so much was because he was from Milwaukee. He didn’t lord it over anyone. He enjoyed people and liked cheering them up. He was frank, unassuming, and down-to-earth, and he absolutely loved his job as Voice of the Brewers.

His playing career wasn’t great; he hit .200, was known more for his defense than his offense, and retired at age thirty-three. He tried scouting but wasn’t great at it. Then he reinvented himself as an announcer, became a very good one, then a great one. Did stand-up comedy, charmed Carson (as previously mentioned), acted in Major League (my favorite baseball film ever) and of course on “Mr. Belvedere.” It seemed like anything Ueck turned his hand to, he succeeded.

But Uecker was human, and sometimes awful things happened to him. He had pancreatic cancer, which he fought, that eventually went into remission. He’d had open-heart surgery. He nearly died from a bite from a brown recluse, too. But worst of all, two of his children predeceased him: one because of San Joaquin Valley Fever, the other because of ALS. He leaves behind a wife, kids, grandchildren, the entirety of “Brewers Nation,” and many others who knew of his life, work, and charitable concerns.

In short, Bob Uecker was almost like a family member in a way, even though he didn’t know me from Eve. He was the best-known exponent of Wisconsin in general and Milwaukee in particular, showcasing the charm and humor and razor-sharp intelligence most of us who live here wish we had.

Ueck was the “Voice of Summer” to many — not just me — and he’ll be greatly missed.

Written by Barb Caffrey

January 17, 2025 at 12:18 am

Posted in baseball, friendship, heartbreaking stories, Informational Stuff, Milwaukee Brewers baseball club, Persistence, Prescient observations, Public figures, Remembrance, Sports figures

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Fighting Walking Pneumonia…and My Thoughts on Sports Stuff

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I’ve been in and out of the doctor’s office the last three months. I was initially diagnosed with bronchitis, then I was diagnosed with bronchitis with a sinus infection/asthma exacerbation, and now I’ve been diagnosed with walking pneumonia. Antibiotics have been prescribed.

The weather is gray, we’re anticipating snow (again), and I’ve been feeling down due to being sick for so long. (If anyone’s fought any illnesses for months, they know what I’m talking about.) Optimism is at a premium, while a whole lot of things have had to slide as I have done battle to breathe, stay alive, and do whatever I can to help my friends and clients (much less my own family).

Now, I have had a few bright spots to point out, though they mostly have to do with sports. The Milwaukee Brewers won the team Gold Glove Award for best overall defense in the National League. They also had two players win individual Gold Gloves, those being second baseman Brice Turang and right fielder Sal Frelick. (A third, center fielder Blake Perkins, was a finalist but did not win. Perkins is an extraordinarily gifted defensive outfielder, nearly as good as Lorenzo Cain and Mike Cameron, among others, and a Gold Glove seems like it’s only a matter of time for Perkins.) In fact, Turang won another award, the Platinum Glove, for being the best overall defender in the National League.

These were bright spots, along with manager Pat Murphy winning Manager of the Year and General Manager Matt Arnold winning Executive of the Year. This shows how much the Brewers team effort mattered. While they didn’t go far in the playoffs yet again, the future seems bright as the team is young and the team is hungry.

Of course, we Brewers fans have to take the good with the bad, and the bad is that All-Star closer Devin Williams was traded to the New York Yankees for a pitcher, Nestor Cortes, and a utility infielder, Caleb Durbin (considered more of a prospect), along with a reported $2M in cash. While the Brewers have several excellent relievers, none of them was as polished or as steady as Williams in my humble opinion. Williams also did many wonderful things in the Milwaukee area for charity and to promote youth baseball efforts, and while one can hope Nestor Cortes will do some of the same while in Milwaukee, that’s unknown at this time. (It also won’t have the benefit of being from a guy who spent five years in Milwaukee and knew the ins and outs of the entire community, much less the most urgent needs.)

Anyway, in addition, the Milwaukee Bucks have been playing very well lately after a horrible 2-8 start. (They had several close games in that start; they weren’t all blowouts by any means. But it still wasn’t good.) They’re now 14-9, I think, and just won the NBA Emirates Cup tournament, held in Las Vegas a few days ago. They decisively beat the Oklahoma City Thunder, one of the best defensive teams in the NBA, partly because the Bucks’ defense was outstanding and partly because the Thunder couldn’t hit much in the way of three-point shots to save their lives.

I’ve been most pleased with Damian Lillard’s performance this season, though as per usual Giannis Antetokounmpo is getting nearly all the glory. (For good reasons, mind you. Giannis is an outstanding player and may be the NBA’s best.) As I read recently in, I think, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, Lillard has done something very few superstars have done and taken on a role, in his prime, to aid another superstar in Giannis in order to help the team win.

Let that soak in a bit.

Lillard is considered one of the top 75 players to ever play in the NBA, right along with Giannis. He is a brilliant scorer, he is an excellent assist-man when asked to do that, and he’s shown some gritty defense that’s been absolutely unexpected from a guy previously considered to be all-offense, all the time.

What Lillard has done reminds me of another Milwaukee Buck of many years ago, that being Oscar Robertson. Robertson was acquired in a trade from the then-Cincinnati Royals (later they became the Sacramento Kings, I think) in 1970, and without him, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and the other luminaries on the 1970-1971 Bucks would have not been able to win the NBA championship. Robertson always had dished out assists, mind you, and he was never thought of as “offense only” as Lillard was for so many years (unfairly, to my mind, in Lillard’s part). But he moderated his scoring somewhat in order to win an NBA Championship with the Milwaukee Bucks, and he was the second option, behind Jabbar, in the same way that Lillard is the second option behind Giannis.

I think it takes an extra-special mindset to do something like that. I really do. It’s hard to change your game, the one you’ve played all these years to so much success, in order to sublimate your ego for the team’s. Robertson had that mindset, and so does Lillard.

My father was a huge fan of the Bucks, as I believe I have said before, and he told me a lot about Oscar Robertson as I grew up. (I was too young to see Robertson play in his prime.) I think Dad would get a kick out of the fact that Lillard seems to be doing similar things that Robertson did back in the early 1970s, and he’d be happy that Lillard’s playing solid defense as well as dishing out assists along with scoring whenever he’s needed. (He’s averaging 25.7 points a game, 7.5 assists per game, and 4.5 rebounds a game, all excellent numbers by any standards, especially considering he’s thirty-four years old. That’s on the older side for an NBA player, and it’s older than Robertson was when Robertson decided to moderate his game after being traded to the Bucks as Robertson was thirty-two.)

Of course, Robertson and Lillard have both had the benefit of superior coaching, excellent teammates, and their own seemingly limitless energy, effort, and, to put it bluntly, brains. It takes all of that to sublimate yourself to the betterment of the team, and it’s incredibly hard to do. I applaud Lillard for doing it, as I believe he will indeed benefit from it in the long run.

Anyway, that’s it for now…I’m trying to heal up, so I can write, edit, comment, etc., more often.

I wish everyone who has read this far a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, a warm Winter Solstice, Merry Yuletide, and a fine celebration of life with your loved ones at this particular time of year. May the season bring you joy, peace, and magic…at least the human-type of magic a smile and honest caring brings.

Written by Barb Caffrey

December 19, 2024 at 4:28 am

Posted in Criticism/critique, Framing Narrative, Heartwarming stories, holiday stuff, Informational Stuff, Inspirational stuff, Persistence, Prescient observations, Sports figures

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Christmas Should Be About Giving

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Folks, this time of year is not easy for me. As I’ve previously written about the aspects of grief, loss, frustration, and being upset that my life has taken a different course than I’d hoped, I wanted to discuss something else today.

But before I do, I wanted to mention the flip sides of all the above. Yes, I’ve grieved very hard for my husband Michael, and also for my father. This shows how much I loved them, how much I cared, and in Michael’s case, how much I want to keep at least some of his work alive. Yes, I’ve felt much loss in my life, though that’s helped me identify what’s truly important to me: my creativity, my friends, my remaining family, and of course included in that are the family pets. (Sometimes our furry companions can be our very best friends. I still miss my dog, Trouble, and he died seven years ago.)

As far as my life taking a different course than I’d hoped…well, my original hopes were to be a professional musician. My health wasn’t good enough. It’s still not good enough. But studying music for over twenty years mattered to me, and I retain that knowledge. Then, of course, after I finally met Michael after being previously divorced (and him also being previously divorced, too), I’d hoped we’d have decades together. Instead, we only had a few, short years. But his life and presence and light made a huge difference to me, and still does; I’d not have changed that for anything.

Anyway, it’s time to discuss the holidays. Mainly, Christmas, though there are other holidays also associated with the time such as Yule, celebrating the winter solstice, and so on. Christmas is about Jesus’s life, and how he came into it in a rather humble manner. We’re supposed to help those less fortunate than ourselves without lording it over them that we have a lot, they have nothing, and without believing they should be grateful for our condescension in realizing they have very little.

My friend Betsy Lightfoot and her family are still struggling in Kansas City with basic needs. Her house burned, and while some of it is salvageable, it’s taken a lot of hard work and struggle to get to the point the power got turned back on. (I think that happened last week.) The house still isn’t livable, her health, not to mention her husband Jonathan’s health, isn’t good, their car is old and in need of repair, and basically they need all the help anyone can give them. Without condescension. With joy in your heart, if you can manage it, even…they truly are good people (they hosted me for a week back in 2005, and Betsy helped me and my mother close up her house before Mom moved into her apartment in 2016), they deserve far better than this, and I feel a bit guilty that I haven’t been able to send them anything as my own situation is not easy nor particularly sustainable. (Further the writer sayeth not, at least not about that. Maybe after the first of the year.)

I have hoped for a miracle, quite frankly, in Betsy and her family’s case. (I’ve also hoped for miracles in other cases and occasionally received them. See: finding Michael, that amazing 36-hour conversation we had over Christmas, the fact that he didn’t care about my weight, my health, or anything save my soul and my love for him…if that wasn’t a miracle, I don’t know what was.) They need a lot of help to get back up on their feet, as Betsy and her husband both are less healthy in many ways than I am. Betsy is a gifted writer, who had been about to put her first novel-length story up for sale…she has a novella called “The Ugly Knight” available via Amazon and its program Kindle Unlimited, which has its own charms but is obviously an early work, so this would’ve been her second major effort.

Why hasn’t that happened, though? Because the amount of work in getting a burned-down house back up to snuff is incredibly high, especially when you’re juggling your own health, your husband’s health, getting your son to work, making your health appointments, finding a temporary place to live…all that. It crowds out everything else, because there is no room for anything except “how do I get out of this mess that I didn’t create?”

I feel terrible for Betsy. I want her to be in a house that’s comfortable, livable, sustainable, and filled with joy and optimism. When that day comes, she’ll be able to go back to her novel, much less her other writing (she has at least two other novels in train). I want to help her get from here to there, which is why I urge you to go to her GiveSendGo account and do whatever you can.

Christmas is at least in part about helping the less fortunate. Betsy and her family qualify. I know it’s really tough for her to have to say how bad off they are, though she has in this recent blog post. If you can do anything at all to help her, please do.

To my mind, that’s what Christmas is all about.

Written by Barb Caffrey

December 9, 2024 at 4:22 pm

Posted in Books, Faith, friendship, heartbreaking stories, holiday stuff, Informational Stuff, Michael B. Caffrey, Prescient observations, Writing

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