Archive for the ‘Persistence’ Category
Friday Inspiration: Overcoming Back Pain, and Other Obstacles
Folks, for the past several weeks, I have been saying very little about what’s been going on with me and my health.
Why? Well, as you know, I am not able-bodied. But I can do many things, and I don’t want anyone to dwell on my disabilities. I’d rather talk about my abilities instead.
There are many people in this world worse off than I am. I can walk, albeit with a cane, and I can type, even though sometimes I have pain due to carpal tunnel syndrome.
I would rather overcome my obstacles than give in to them. However, sometimes I have to take time out for myself to rest and recuperate.
Or, in this case, to do back therapy, as my lower back is so inflamed, I can barely walk or move around.
Of course I’ve been taking more medicine, including the hated seven-day course of prednisone. to try to get my muscles to relax. I’ve also been doing the stretches prescribed by the physical therapists, and will be in physical therapy for another four or five weeks.
Why am I telling you all this? Because maybe someone out there needs to hear that you don’t have to give in to pain. You have to recognize it, and deal with it, but you don’t have to give in to it.
There’s something you hear a lot from professional athletes, who in the main deal with injuries far more than the general public. They say that when you’re recovering, you have to “stay within yourself.”
I’m not particularly good at this, but I’m learning.
If I stay within myself, I can get everything done that I need to do. That includes writing, editing, practicing for next week’s concert with the Racine Concert Band out at Park High School…all of that.
Yes, I’m going to pay in pain. But I can get it done.
So, for the moment, how I overcome obstacles is to pace myself. Do the stretches, and try to get my back to loosen up a little. Take more breaks. Eat well, and try to rest (which isn’t always easy with back pain, but I’m doing what I can). Use a heating pad, or take a long, hot shower a few times a day.
Whatever works.
And try to give myself a break, too. Because sometimes, being good to yourself is the hardest thing — especially when you want to be doing so much more than you are.
Still. For this week’s inspirational thought, I leave you with this:
Don’t let your obstacles overwhelm you. Find a way to circumvent them as much as possible. And live your life as best you can.
That is the winning strategy.
A Monday Editing Blog (AKA, “What’s the Deal with the Second Half of ELFY, Barb?”)
Folks, it’s been an interesting week around Chez Caffrey.
As most of you know, I’ve been struggling with my final edit for the second half of the ELFY duology, now titled A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE. (I like this title.) I haven’t discussed why I’ve been struggling so much, but there have been three things getting in my way.
Today seems like the time to discuss these things.
First, I’ve been doing a good amount of occupational therapy for my hands. They haven’t been good since I suffered a bad burn in February; that burn, which was to the left forefinger and left middle finger, set off a bad carpal tunnel flare-up. I went to the doctor, got treatment, and started doing exercises.
After almost two months of exercises, I’m now back to the point where I can type a good four or five hours every night. I still must needs take breaks, and of course I have to keep doing my exercises as well. But things have improved.
The second reason why I have been having trouble is because I wrote the book twelve-plus years ago. Times have changed. Some specific references needed to be updated. And because the book was split, I had to try to make the book appear like it could stand alone…though no matter what I do, it’s going to lean heavily on the first half of the book (AN ELFY ON THE LOOSE), as that’s by design.
(Clear as mud, right?)
My third reason for needing to take time with this? Well, you have to be in the right frame of mind to see what is actually in your own manuscript rather than what you think is there. This is the main reason most authors do not edit themselves; granted, I had an editor do the first pass for me, and I’m following what she said when I agree with it. But the editor didn’t read the first half of the novel, and that means some of what she said has to be taken with a huge grain of salt.
Now, I’m very fortunate in that I have two great mentors in my corner this time around: Stephanie Osborn and Katharine Eliska Kimbriel. They both have looked at my revised first chapter and have given me excellent advice. They also have been a strong sounding board, and have listened as I’ve wrestled with this final edit for the past several months.
What I try to do with the Elfyverse is to be consistent. I want to tell the best story I can. I’ve improved my actual writing mechanics a great deal since I originally wrote ELFY in 2002-3, and I want to reflect that…but I don’t want to take all the life out of the story, either.
It’s because I had this twelve-year break in the action that I can edit for myself at all.
And make no mistake about it: This is a full-on edit. It is not editorial changes, which is a much different animal. This is my own take on my own work, yes, but it’s also my older and wiser self editing my younger and more exuberant self, while trying to keep track of all the details — you may feel free to read “keep all the balls in the air” if you wish — at the same time.
So to answer the question I posed in my title…the deal with the second half of ELFY is that I’m working hard on it, and I hope to have it in to my long-suffering publisher very soon.
At that point, I’ll find out what the revised timetable is for publication, and I’ll be glad to trumpet that all over the Internet.
But until then, wish me well as I continue to recover from the worst carpal tunnel flare-up I’ve had in years. As I definitely need all the well-wishing I can get.
Friendship, and the SF Controversy “du jour”
Folks, I continue to be consumed by my edit for A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE, which is the main reason I haven’t been online to blog in the past week-plus.
But there are other reasons.
One of them caused me to ponder what the meaning of the word “friendship” is all about. For when someone knows you for a long time, there is a presumption that if there’s a disagreement — regardless of what the disagreement is about — the other person will listen to you.
He or she may not agree with what you’ve said. But the other person will at least listen, and try to understand.
During this past week, I’ve seen more distress coming out of the community of science fiction and fantasy writers than I’ve ever seen before. I can’t really summarize this for people who don’t understand it, and it seems like “inside baseball” unless you’ve been caught in the crosshairs of this particular bit of internecine strife.
But the upshot of it is this: Writers are fighting other writers, mostly using words — something writers are very good at using, by definition. And rather than trying to find any common ground with one another, writers are continuing to duke it out with our words instead.
How does this have anything to do with friendship, you ask?
It’s simple. I have a friend, Jason Cordova, who got nominated for one of the most prestigious awards in SF&F — the John W. Campbell Award. He got nominated due to the auspices of a group that many other long-term SF&F writers do not like (this group being called the “Sad Puppies”). Jason was not the only writer to be nominated by the “Sad Puppies,” mind you, but he’s the one I know the best.
He is my friend. (You may have gathered this, yes?)
So when some long-term writers started saying that all the people who’d been nominated by the “Sad Puppies” were racists, or homophobic bigots, or the like, I protested. (Anyone who regularly reads my blog knows that I am not shy about such things.)
Jason is Hispanic. He has a sister who’s married to another woman. He is far from wealthy. He is an honored and honorable veteran of the military. And he’s written some lovely short stories along with his solo novel, CORRUPTOR, and several co-written novels with Eric S. Brown, most particularly KAIJU APOCALYPSE and MURDER WORLD.
I don’t think Jason in a million years thought that he’d ever be considered for the John W. Campbell Award, whether the “Sad Puppies” nominated him or not. But he was.
And, being a friend, I congratulated him. And then defended him, even though he probably did not need my defense, because that is what friends do.
To make things a bit more complex, one of the people who was upset was also my friend. This person saw my defense and became irate.
Instead of asking me what I was about, this person walked away. At this point, I don’t know if this person will ever return, either.
Now, there’s a whole lot I’m leaving out, partly by design. (As I said, it’s “inside baseball” for those who aren’t following it — lucky you.)
But the important thing is this: If you are my friend, I know we’re not always going to agree on everything.
(How boring would the world be if we did? But I digress.)
What I would hope we’d agree on is the fact that our friendship deserves at least a little care. A little understanding. A little bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, common ground can be re-established.
I don’t know how many times I’ve gotten upset with my friends, including Jason at times. I’m sure he’s gotten upset with me, too. We don’t agree in our political philosophy, we don’t always agree on other issues…but we are friends, and we work things out — sometimes by agreeing to disagree, sometimes by trying to meet each other halfway.
This is what friends do.
I wish that the SF&F community could try to do that now. Because SF&F writers have far more in common with each other than we do with anyone else…and it’s sad that instead of using our immense energy and creativity to create new worlds with, we’re instead savaging each other.
And as for my other friend? I will care about this person until the day I die. I owe this person a great deal, and I haven’t forgotten this.
But like Lillian Hellman, I will not cut my conscience to fit this year’s fashions.
******
Note: I thought long and hard before writing this. I am willing to discuss the issues of friendship and whether or not SF&F writers can somehow try to find common ground with one another again. Anything else will probably raise my blood pressure unduly; besides, there are many other places discussing these issues in far greater depth than I am.
I’ve taken a general course mostly because I wanted those who are just finding out about this issue to understand just how messy this nonsense is. I’ve already lost one friend over this because I chose to defend another friend I felt was being unjustly attacked.
I neither like nor dislike the “Sad Puppies.” I do respect many of them, most particularly Brad Torgersen and Amanda S. Green. (Before anyone asks, we’re not going to discuss the merits of the “Rabid Puppies” group right now. Or the lack thereof.) I feel they have a right to be heard, and under the rules, they did nothing objectionable. But to some, me saying that is like waving a red flag in front of a bull.
And I neither like nor dislike the vast majority of writers on the other side of this mess.
One thing I do know, though: No one should be threatening anyone else over this. Ever.
Anyway, the floor is open. I welcome comments, providing they are civil. Any that aren’t will be deleted. (You have been warned.)
Easter Meditations on Christian Laettner
Happy Easter, one and all!
A few years back, I wrote a blog called “Meditations on Easter.” In that blog I discussed the nature of forgiveness, redemption, and hope through the story of Jesus Christ. It is still my own, personal gold standard as to why people of all faiths should try to recognize why Easter remains such an important holy day, 2000 and some odd years later.
And this got me thinking.
Recently, I watched an ESPN 30 for 30 documentary called I Hate Christian Laettner. It’s about former college and pro basketball star Christian Laettner, who sank a game-winning shot in 1992 for his Duke Blue Devils in the NCAA championship game…but because he’d also stepped on an opposing player’s hand (Aminu Timberlake) earlier in that tournament and was unrepentant about it, his game-winning shot was highly controversial.
People still remember the shot, years later. But it’s not because Laettner was brilliant. It’s because many people, myself included, felt Laettner should’ve been suspended for stepping on Timberlake’s hand. And when he wasn’t, most fans were indignant — even furious — as it seemed like Laettner was getting special treatment due to his star status as one of college basketball’s best players.
And that has fueled a whole lot of hatred toward a guy who, at the time, was only 22 years old.
Yes, he was an arrogant cuss. Yes, he was a difficult and prickly personality.
But maybe he had a reason for being that way. He was a tall guy who was often mischaracterized in the press as something he wasn’t. He was called wealthy and overprivileged, simply because of the fact he was white and going to Duke. And it wasn’t true — his parents worked hard and were members of the middle class, something I never heard one word about until I watched the 30 for 30 documentary about Laettner.
This particular documentary really made me challenge my assumptions.
Simply put: We humans still have a lot of growing up to do in some ways, don’t we? We judge people based off the appearance, the outward aspect, and that’s only the tip of the iceberg.
In this case, much of the outward aspect of Laettner was flat wrong. He was a middle class guy who would never in a million years have been able to afford a high quality education at Duke unless he had a compelling gift for playing basketball. He needed that scholarship so he could go, grow, learn, and improve himself, both as a player and as a human being.
Now, did he do some stuff that was juvenile? Sure.
But at 22, I have to admit that I did all sorts of things that were juvenile, too. I was just fortunate enough not to be in the public eye, so my immature behavior was not trumpeted from the bully pulpit as Laettner’s lapses were.
After watching that 30 for 30 documentary, I was left shaking my head at how even someone like me — someone who’s very well aware of how the narrative can be framed as a writer and editor — can’t realize that Laettner’s story was far more complex than had been reported in the media.
Personally, I think Laettner showed a lot of class dealing with some of the stuff that was yelled at him during the NCAA Tourney back in 1991 and 1992. (“Ho-mo-sexual” and the like was yelled at him, and yes, that was considered a slur. How far we’ve come…that behavior today would not be tolerated. But I digress.) And I think, upon reflection, that he did try to rise above a lot of the nonsense directed his way.
But the most important thing I learned from the documentary is this: You have to know yourself. And you have to learn to forgive yourself.
Laettner knows he’s a much different person on the inside than was reported. He doesn’t give any weight, he said in the documentary, to people who don’t know him, because that wastes his time. (This is my best paraphrase, mind, as I watched this movie at least a week and a half ago and I don’t have a transcript in front of me.) The people who matter to him are those who do know him. His wife. His family. His coaches. His friends.
Everything else — everyone else — can go hang. Because they are irrelevant.
As Laettner knows, appearance is not the reality. And we human beings have to learn this, whether we’re sports fans or not.
And as it’s Easter Sunday, that got me thinking. If we’re supposed to forgive people who did us wrong, as the example of Jesus surely shows us we should do, why is it that many sports fans still cannot forgive Laettner?
Maybe it’s a flaw in ourselves that keeps us on the hate-train. And maybe it’s something we should try to rectify, before it’s too late.
The Revenge of C.diff — and Other Stuff
Folks, I’ve been dealing with a nasty intestinal illness for the past several weeks. It’s called C.diff, and it came on suddenly after I’d finished a course of antibiotics for a sinus infection.
Because of this, I haven’t blogged, I haven’t written much, and I haven’t been able to do as much editing as I wanted, including the final touches to my novel A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE, the sequel (or continuation) to AN ELFY ON THE LOOSE. (Or, as I put it to myself — and for long-time readers — the second half of ELFY.)
I’ve been put on a very strong medicine to combat this C.diff, and while it seems to be working, it has left me weak and tired.
That said, I will persist…as I said a while back, I may be slowed, but I haven’t stopped.
And I won’t stop.
Admittedly, I am frustrated. I want to be doing so much more than this. (“Outrunning time,” as Lois McMaster Bujold put it in A CIVIL CAMPAIGN.) Being sick for weeks or months on end is certainly not my idea of an endgame, and I hope I will somehow be able to regain my health soon.
That said, I continue to work on my final edit of A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE. I hope to have it to my publisher within a few weeks’ time, and then start work on my final edit of CHANGING FACES. I also hope to finish up a few short stories and attempt the Writers of the Future contest again this quarter if at all possible — though with the quarter end rapidly approaching, that might not be doable.
As for an update with regards to the Joey Maverick series started by my late husband Michael, I remain stalled there also. I am working on a novelette or possibly a novella in that universe, but it’s going extremely slowly — possibly because of how little energy I’ve had to work with due to the present nasty illness, already in progress.
Now, why am I telling you all of this, when I’d rather be discussing anything else? Partly because I believe in being honest. Partly because I think we need to talk more about what troubles us. And partly because I know there are people who follow my life and career — God/dess help them — and have asked me what the status is with regards to my writing and my health.
My weekend plans are to do some editing, both for myself and for a client who’s been patiently waiting, and to see if I can get any writing done. I also plan to finally review Dick Button’s interesting book on figure skating, PUSH DICK’S BUTTON, over at Shiny Book Review later today for Nonfiction Friday. (Edited to add: review is up.)
So I’ll continue to do what I can, and hope that things will pick up from here. (I can’t remember now if the phrase is “We live in hope” or “We live and hope,” but either way, that’s what I’m doing right now.)
And thanks, as always, for coming to my blog. I do appreciate it.
A Frustrating Wednesday Update, Already in Progress…
Folks, you may have noticed that I haven’t blogged at all since last week Monday.
There’s a reason for that. I’ve been ill, first with a nasty sinus infection, and then with a suspected case of food poisoning on top of that.
I hate giving these sorts of updates, mind you. They annoy me. I want to be doing things. I want to be writing, editing, reviewing books, even putting in job applications…but instead, I’ve been having to rest, eat bland food, and rest some more.
Needless to say, I’m not a happy camper.
I’ve managed to do about two hours of editing and zero writing in the past four days (not including reading manuscripts for evaluation, which I agree is work but isn’t nearly as taxing). I’m about to go stir-crazy, because I’d hoped to use this week as a springboard to get back on track with my edit for A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE…and it’s just not happening. (At least, not yet.)
My husband used to tell me that if I rested when I needed to rest, I’d come back stronger. His advice was always good, and I’m trying to take it now. But it’s incredibly difficult because I want to be up and doing, and instead am confined to baby steps.
I’ve been told that the food poisoning (or whatever it is that’s severely irritated my stomach) should be gone by the weekend. I sincerely hope so. As it is, all I can do now is plan to get things done just as soon as I’m physically able to do them.
And that’s not a position I like being in.
Monday Inspiration: How “The Grit Factor” Can Work For You
Recently, I read “The Grit Factor” by Bob Carney in Golf Digest. “The Grit Factor” talks about many qualities that are needed for self-improvement, including mental toughness, resilience, and a willingness to work on all parts of your game — not just the easy stuff that you already know you can do, but the toughest things, too.
After I read this, I had one of those “aha!” moments similar to when I read The Inner Game of Tennis years ago. “The Grit Factor” has many of the same precepts, to wit:
- The real struggle is inward, with yourself, rather than outward against other players.
- Your principal obstacles are self-doubt and anxiety; once you can get a handle on those, or at least are prepared to deal with them, you can concentrate better on what you’re doing.
- You must believe that everything you do, no matter how long it takes, leads toward your goals.
Mind, there’s a lot more going on with “The Grit Factor” than that, but those principles seemed to make the most sense in a writing and editing context.
Consider that writers spend a great deal of time lost in thought, working either outwardly or inwardly on our works-in-progress. Because we don’t have a way to measure how well we’re doing at any given time, it can be easy to give in to self-doubt (“Is what I’m doing worth anything?”) or anxiety (“Will releasing my next book make any difference?”). So it seems obvious that managing these things is essential…or at least acknowledging these things exist could be beneficial.
Why?
Well, if you think that you’re the only writer on the face of the Earth who sometimes struggles with anxiety or self-doubt, it’s easy for that self-doubt or anxiety to stay inside you. Internalized, it sabotages your creative process at a deep level, and it can be hard to get away from that.
What I’ve found that works for me is to admit that yes, I’m anxious about certain things. (For example, right now I’m worried about how long it’s taking me to go over my final edit and come up with a revised first chapter for my second book, A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE.) But so long as I’m making any progress, even if it’s very slow and I can’t necessarily always see it, I have to count that as a win.
Providing I can admit that I’m nervous, I’m able to do a great deal more than when I try to shut it off and just refuse to talk about it. And that’s something I learned way back when I first read The Inner Game of Tennis.
Mind, that doesn’t mean “everything is awesome” (hat tip to The Lego Movie) when it comes to writing. There is a need for honest criticism. Without that, you can’t improve. (“The Grit Factor” discusses how just giving people ego-gratification all the time doesn’t help, though the author puts it a completely different way.) But you don’t need to beat yourself up while you’re working your heart out to improve, either.
If you take away one thing from today’s post, please remember this: As I’ve said before, writing a book is a marathon, not a sprint. Be resilient, be persistent, don’t give up, and keep working on your weakest areas.
That’s the best way to win, as a writer or at life.
Reflections on the Passing of Actor Leonard Nimoy
Actor Leonard Nimoy, Spock of the original “Star Trek” TV series, died yesterday at the age of 83. Nimoy wasn’t solely an actor — he was a musician, a poet, a photographer, and a movie director, among many other things — but he was known mostly for bringing one role to life: Spock, the half-Vulcan, half-human first officer of the U.S.S. Enterprise.
Spock, the quintessential outsider.
Spock, a type of Everyman who could comment, dispassionately, about subjects otherwise often seen as off-limits in contemporary society (much less TV).
Many people are going to be discussing Nimoy’s legacy, and rightfully so. He was a brilliant actor, and in many ways he was at the center of what “Star Trek” was all about.
But my own reflections are far closer to home than that.
When I was young, I discovered “Star Trek” on television in syndication. I was a fan of DeForest Kelley’s Leonard “Bones” McCoy more than Leonard Nimoy’s Spock, mind you, but without Spock’s dispassion, McCoy’s emotional outbursts would’ve had no foil and much less resonance. Somehow, even in my early teens, I picked up on this, and wanted to know more about the actors behind “Star Trek.”
So I read Leonard Nimoy’s first biography, I AM NOT SPOCK. What I found out was that Nimoy was many things besides his most famous, iconic role. His journey as an artist and a sensitive soul was one of my biggest inspirations as a teenager.
It was because of Nimoy’s book, at least in part, that I realized you could be different and still be a good person. That you could be a sensitive artist who your parents did not understand — as his own parents definitely didn’t understand Nimoy’s passion for acting, or the arts in general — and still be able to forge a good life for yourself. And I learned that sometimes it takes time for your vision of yourself to be realized — as Nimoy struggled for years as an actor before he finally landed his role on “Star Trek.”
I did not know Mr. Nimoy, except for watching him on TV and once, very briefly, meeting him at a science fiction convention. But he seemed to me to be a man of worth, talent, and grace.
I mourn his passing.
Slowed, but not Stopped
Folks, I’ve been very quiet over the past week-plus. I didn’t want to be, mind you, but I had to.
Why? Well, I burned myself while cooking. Badly enough that I went to the emergency room right away. And I was told I did the right thing, as a second-degree burn on the hand is nothing to play around with.
You may be asking yourself why I went in right away. (If so, you’re in good company, as some of my own family members asked the same thing.) Well, as I’m a musician, writer, and editor, I need my hands for my professions. When you add to the mix that I also have carpal tunnel syndrome (I’ve made no secret of this), the burn slowed me down even further.
Anyway, I was told that I had to rest my hand so the burn could heal. I was not allowed to use my left hand at all, and was typing messages out one-handed to editorial clients and others I absolutely had to stay in contact with. While I did do some Tweeting, I again typed only with my right hand, and mentioned on Facebook and Twitter that I was dealing with “finger issues” so people would not be worried that chatty me wasn’t responding to their various comments.
Yesterday, I was seen in a follow-up appointment, and was told that I can resume typing with both hands, with caution of course. I still have to keep the burned area covered and put a special ointment on it; the area will probably scar. But if I have full use of the area, I don’t particularly care about that.
So I’ve been slowed, but I haven’t stopped.
Along the way, I hadn’t been able to share some exciting news with you all, so I may as well share it right here and now.
I have a title for the second half of the ELFY duology at long last!
Yes, my publisher and I agreed that the new title of the second half of ELFY should be…(wait for it)…A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE.
I’m very pleased I can now pass this word along.
As far as a release date for A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE, I’m still pushing for late April, mostly because the events of the entire ELFY duology center around Mayday or as Bruno calls it, “Ba’altinne” (otherwise known as Beltane). But I’m working on my final edit, still, and wouldn’t have a prayer of it coming out then except that it’s only going to be available as an e-book.
So in answer to several of your off-line questions, yes, the second half of ELFY will be out soon.
I’m glad my hand is healing. I still can’t do as much as I’d like. But I can type again with my left hand, I can do some work, and I am pleased with that. (It’s progress. I’ll take it.)
As far as reviews go, I hope to be able to review at least one book over the weekend at Shiny Book Review, providing my hand holds out.
And as far as music goes, I am scheduled to play the alto saxophone in the Racine Concert Band’s February 26 concert at Horlick High School in Racine. I wasn’t sure at first whether or not my hand would heal enough for me to do this, but as I can type today (with some difficulty and pain), I should be able to play in another week or two (which is when rehearsals are due to start up again).
Anyway, that’s all I know…excepting that, as always, I will persevere and do my level best to overcome all obstacles. (Really, would you expect me to say anything less?)
Barb Caffrey's Blog 